Sexual Assault Sexually Abused Boys/men?

[thisbejoe7]

I'm curious how common sexual abuse towards boys/men in western culture. Most of the time we hear of women being raped or abused even from very young ages. We hear of same-sex abuse of girls and boys, but is it uncommon to hear of boys being abused sexually by a female?

I see articles in the paper and in the news about female teachers having sex with young boys in their schools. So I know this happens. I assume it goes under-reported?

The closest I ever came to female>male sexual abuse was as a young kid I was walking through the woods near my house and walked past another home that was behind a fence. A young girl (probably around my age perhaps slightly older) lived there. She was aggressive and explicit in how she talked. She never touched me, but she made very suggestive comments towards me. The last thing I remember hearing her say was "Do you have a cock or a pussy"?

I was so young I didn't know what to do, I was afraid and ran away. Had I stayed, I wonder if there could have been potential for some sexual abuse of some sort.

The other aspect to this (I assume) is that early childhood exploration may mast sexual abuse, causing more of it to go un-reported and hidden from view. So I'm curious, are there any guys here in the forum who have been sexually abused or manipulated sexually by girls? I'm genuinely curious and would like to hear various thoughts on these issues. Feel free to share your stories if you are comfortable.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'd say that female on female AND female on male abuse is under reported, because females aren't seen as monsters by society.

Not sure where you're getting that female on female abuse is commonly mentioned and we hear about it all the time, because we don't.

 

[thisbejoe7]

Solara, all I meant is that I have seen much more same sex female/female abuse than female>male abuse. I think you are probably right that both are under reported.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't know if it helps, but I know of a woman who was a habitual abuser of young preteen/early boys. It was a small rural town and every one knew it was happening, but no one ever did anything or said anything because her mother worked for the D.A.s office. People would get furious if you ever alluded to it. It was like this big secret no one was supposed to tell. I was close to one of her victims and he would tell me that he was in love with her. He was very early teens and she was in her 30's. When she moved on to a different boy in the apartment complex where we lived, he didn't handle it well. She really did a number on his mind. Police knew, and completely ignored it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Having been on this forum for four years I would say that it is unreported and misunderstood. It's not talked about much. I know there are males here who have been sexually abused by both females and men.

Time to start talking?

One of my first sexual experiences was with a female (I am female) and I still don't know how to handle what happened. Agree with @Solara

 

[Go Hungry]

Yeah.. been there. Holy crap it's been one hell of a day for flashbacks..

So here's what happened. There was this substitute teacher at my highschool who was, I guess, kinda hot? I never really saw it. I mean, she had a good body and all that for her age, and I know that lots of other boys in my school were like "Oh she's sooo hot!"; but I just never saw it... This woman.. good lord this woman. She was a piece of work. She did a burlesque routine for the school talent show! Can you imagine?! Worse yet, her own son was on the front row! People even made jokes about how they had the same taste in men, little boys. (the south is a hellish place for someone to be gay, especially kids) But plenty of guys were all so turned on by it.

Meanwhile I was dreaming of... well the sorts of girls that teen boys think about.. You know; Cindy Crawford, Tyra Banks, Madchen Amick (oh god I'm so old!!)

Anyways, I wasn't old back then. This woman had an easy 20 years on me, and those 20 years had not been kind. Not in my sight. So this woman decides that she's taken a liking to me. And unfortunately, she's substituting in one of my classes. So I'm just sitting there, like I normally do, and she's prancing around like she's some sort of model, and I'm just ignoring her because Yuck! Then she comes over to me and stands right next to me, and starts drinking from her glass all seductive like.. And she 'accidentally' turns and grazes my face with her boobs. I just sit still and do nothing. She makes some sort of comment about not spilling any water on me because I might melt, then takes a piece of ice and starts dripping water on my head.

This was in front of an entire highschool classroom.

Eventually I guess she got her fill of whatever she was looking for, and went back to teach the rest of class. But everyone was looking at me. I could feel their eyes on me. And by now I'm livid on the inside, because I want to *take vengeance*. I am so pissed off.. And I can't express a single word of it.

The other guys in school were congratulating me and saying "Oh you could get some of that!" and I'm just screaming inside because I'm mortified. And I can't say anything because this is the sort of place where I would be instantly branded as gay. Hell, everybody thought I was gay for years just because I liked drama class and pretty things instead of sports and shop class. Why the hell is enjoying the company of women gay? Isn't it alot more gay for a dude to get all sweaty rolling around on the floor with a bunch of guys and then go take a shower together? =P

Anyways, back on track. So I'm stuck there, with this hideous beast coming after me and everybody thinking I'm some kind of stud and I just couldn't do anything... Thankfully less than a week later my sweet redhead girlfriend in my drama class decided to make it official and we made a big show of kissing in front of this harpy. It pissed her off so bad that she auto-failed me on every quiz in class after that. Her term ended not that much later though and I never saw her again.

So that was my experience with female>male sexual harassment. Not sure if it counts as anything else. v0v

 

[SpongeCakeMcGee]

My oldest brother's girlfriend molested me. I was 12, she was 19. She'd randomly show up at our apt to see if my bro was home. If my brother wasn't home she'd ask me to walk her back home. She made me do stuff to her behind a dumpster at the edge of the woods by our apartment. She'd tell me to put my hand places, was kinda bossy. One day she brought me inside her house. She made me touch her and then said she was going to eff me. I remember being so afraid that I sobbed uncontrollably. I didn't want to. She didn't care. I dont know how I was able to become erect because I was so scared and upset. I couldn't even feel her. My lower body was numb. It was pretty terrible. She was on top and went for a while and then she got bored. She climbed off and told me I should feel lucky. Later she made fun of me for being so scared said I was small.

Of course I was small. I was a f*cking 12 year old.

Coincidently, my oldest brother--the one who was dating her--had sexually abused me from the time I was 8 until I was 10.

Awful stuff.

 

[thisbejoe7]

Go Hungry, wow thats a crazy case of blatant harassment. I'm surprised that she got away with that. It definitely counts in my opinion anyway. Thanks for sharing your story.

SpongeCakeMcGee, I'm so sorry you went through that. I can imagine how scary that must have been. Its bad enough that she did those physical acts but then to also use her words to berate you and shame you, sheesh! Do you have any long term consequences from those experiences?

 

[Go Hungry]

Wow. Re-reading my post I'm surprised by how much anger came through. Some of that was terrible. *editing*

 

[Springer80]

I know of a guy who was abused when he was around 11/12 by someone female 5 yrs. older. He has never really explicitly said what she did, but from the bits offered I think essentially she forcibly used him for her own gratification. He has experienced depressions, mania...been on pretty high doses of medication which have altered him. He also seems not to be able to put down roots/invest in himself on an emotional level. Don't get me wrong, he's very intelligent and talented at what he does but somehow the growth doesn't take hold. I can say these things because I recognise it in myself and he recognises it in me, I think.

Sinead O'Connor (the singer) wrote a book about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother, and I believe it's possible that my Grandma out of some intense fear that my dad might end up dysfunctional in some way tried to 'cleanse' him with cold baths as he hit puberty. Funny but it didn't work and he ended up drug raping his wife and daughter (me).

 

[Raj]

My oldest sister grabbed my behind all the time into my freaking twenties and nobody cared and usually didn't believe me! I should of decked here by avoided her and now no contact at all. My stepsister only a little olfer, but very sexual and twisted did all kind of weird stuff wanted to be my secretary locked me in closets with her mad try to perform and i had even hit puberty and kept repeating for months hoping I could perform, nothing like having your freaking stepsister force french you!

 

[anthony]

Society has made its choice based on statistics, IMHO... males are the bad guys when it comes to sexual abuse, regardless of other variables.