Shadows In The Midst Of Flames

[The Albatross]

My mentors like I said were hard asses... by repetition I learned that the thought/feeling was not paramount... it was more how I finished the story... playing it all the way through to where I was in "right/good/just/fair" behaviors. It is my default now. Very assistive cuz as victims of abuse we don't really get to do that without a shrink. Part of self efficacy is to develop the habit (26-28 days) and then the new behavior of doing that/actualizing that ourselves to a (what I call) "more generally beneficial view/perception/perspective"

In particular the last 4 minutes or so outline a challenge. 5 things to do for rewiring the brain to scan for things neutral or positive rather than negative... I did quite a lot of challenges. This one was very well received by the group and when I take a dive I repeat it. The whole talk is entertaining... hope it helps???

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[Ironlady]

My mentors like I said were hard asses... by repetition I learned that the thought/feeling was not...

I think you had very good mentors. Going to go watch it now. I think something constructive that encourages the strengthening of those positive qualities would be very good to explore and follow through with. Especially right now. I will let you know what I think when I'm done watching.

 

[The Albatross]

We were conditioned to scan for threats/safety/survivability... that saved our lives. BUT... brains aim to please and give us more of what it thinks we want.. there comes a time to retrain the brain.

 

[The Albatross]

Achors is so ADD/ADHD... but so am I... so groked it/understood it at first hearing and turned away from my own default perspectives and endeavored to do the challenge with SMART goal/challenges... and I had a significant perceptual shift. Need based reactivity gets you resentment/abandonment/retaliation gal... unless you shift perspectives to a less self involved perspective. ???

 

[The Albatross]

I am also an advocate of Joel Runyon's Cold Water Shower/Challenge via Mission Impossible HQ. I am a firm believer in turning away from the self talk/self involved thinking/perception and challenging my own biases. Link Removed

 

[Ironlady]

My mentors like I said were hard asses... by repetition I learned that the thought/feeling was not...

This was very good. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[Ironlady]

Achors is so ADD/ADHD... but so am I... so groked it/understood it at first hearing and turned away...

You were able to help tremendously today. I think part of my problem has been I went almost all my life not being able to express any negative emotion without getting severe corporal punishment or severely emotionally abused for it. This emotional upheaval is partly myself feeling things and allowing myself to feel them fully for the first time in my life. Because I have not learned how to regulate in a normal way. I'm finding I either do not feel some things and compensate with adaptive behaviors to fill the gap or I feel so much it's like I am on a runaway emotional train. I want to feel all emotions but have not found ways to regulate and channel them in the most healthy and beneficial ways yet. Your talk today helped me look at things more objectively. I was having a hard time following earlier but am rereading and getting it more. I know I will be referring back to this and you have given me some tools I wasn't aware I had to use before. Thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

Glad to see you get more from the re-read... emotional regulation/dysregulation is an issue for us as well... a skill set to acquire as/when we are able... but the business of recovery is most often putting out fires, before fire prevention or cutting/carving out fire breaks. The sense of immediacy is a hard habit/behavior to break. In time, all things are possible. Time and consistency are the measuring stick gal.

 

[The Albatross]

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[Ironlady]

Glad to see you get more from the re-read... emotional regulation/dysregulation is an issue for us...

Thank you. And I liked the cold shower video too. Funny thing is Ive actually practiced this but in a different way. 2 years ago I was a powerlifter and the training was arduous and hard but the benefit was mental along with physical strength and resilience. The anxiety started taking over eventually and I had to stop but was able to do other hard uncomfortable things. Like Cutting ties with abusive parents. This really opened my eyes to what I've overcome and done and what I can still. Thank you. <3

 

[Ironlady]

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This was perfect!! I think my whole face would be covered lol. This was really good. I liked it. Thanks. :)

 

[The Albatross]

Glad to be assistive. Holler if ya need me eh?