Sexual Assault Shame

[Tina]

Is it even possible to get over shame? It's very hard for me and near impossible. I can't stop these crazy twisted perverted thoughts in my head. I want it to stop! Shame only makes it worse. Maybe it's already to late. whatever, I freak like me isn't worth saving anyway.

 

[Kristen]

Yes, Tina ...it is I am speaking from experience ....I used to think it was my fault, but after starting therapy that burden was lifted from my shoulders ...it wasn't your fault at all. No you are not a "freak" ...your abuser is the sicko-freak ....the things that go on in our heads & go on with us emotionally are due to what our abusers did to us ....You are a human being & you didn't derserve what happened to you, you are important & worth saving. Any body that can't see your worth doesn't belong in your life ...Hope this helps :)

 

[Tina]

Yes, Tina ...it is I am speaking from experience ....I used to think it was my fault, but after starting therapy that burden was lifted from my shoulders ...it wasn't your fault at all. No you are not a "freak" ...your abuser is the sicko-freak ....the things that go on in our heads & go on with us emotionally are due to what our abusers did to us ....You are a human being & you didn't derserve what happened to you, you are important & worth saving. Any body that can't see your worth doesn't belong in your life ...Hope this helps :)

I hope so. Thanks :)

 

[moving forward]

Our shame is what often drives us to not report the abuse etc. shame often underpins the very character of a victim. It can be worked through in therapy, I'm living proof of this. My dissasociation used to make me have 'uncomfortable' thoughts or obsessions but recognising that they are a coping mechanism and not what defined me really helped me cut myself some slack. You may find that discussing this in therapy will really help you get to the bottom of what's driving these feelings. From what I can gather you have the same spinning wheel experience as me in that the more a thought upsets you the more you have it? There can be light at the end of the tunnel. Since going through fairly intensive therapy, I'm shame and guilt free, and I actually find myself saying positive things to myself rather than constantly berating myself (which is what I used to do). I Still have a lot of work to do but it's all heading in the right direction and it can for you too...:thumbsup:

 

[rightkindofme]

The difference between shame and guilt: if you steal a candy bar from a store you *should* feel guilty because you did something wrong but you don't need to feel shame because you will lose other peoples good opinion for making a mistake. Everyone messes up. Everyone has impulse problems sometimes.

Shame isn't as much of an issue for me any more. I am not as worried about people hating me if they find out "what I did" because I wrote a book about my childhood and the result was an outpouring of support. (It's not available for sale this minute because Kindle kicked me out for being graphic--I'm working on that.)

People don't think as badly of us as we think. Mostly they don't think about us as much as we think. :)