General Should A Ptsd Sufferer Have Children, Or Is This A Bad Idea?

[countryboi]

I can't see a 2 year old, or a 17 year old kid being as skilled with being careful with "mom". I see them being like any other kid, and driving their parents nuts at times- but for a PTSD sufferer, this kind of stress is almost unbearable.

As a PTSD sufferer and a father of two, I can honestly say that things can be difficult at times. But what parent-child relationship isn't? My children are 5 and 7 and I see a lot of stress that they express in ways that adults don't. But, in the same respect, they can be one of the most comforting things for someone who has PTSD. For me, when I get stressed out or angry, my kids have their own special way of bringing me around that nobody else can. My youngest can make me laugh at some of the silliest things.

Like I said, it can be stressful, too. Even though they can cheer me up or make me less stressed, they themselves have to deal with the daily stress of having a father with PTSD. I know it's not easy for them. They are probably two of the most polite girls you would ever meet. But, when they get stressed out they take it out on each other and I have to step in and do some dispute resolution which in turn stresses me out. However, PTSD sufferer or not, my children have always been and will always be my rock.

My PTSD stems from sexual, mental and physical abuse from when I was very young (about 2 to 5 years old). Naturally, as a father of two daughters, my biggest fear is something like that happening to them. I am recently divorced (definately doesn't help my depression) and my ex-wife is already engaged to another man. Since my children now live with her, I am daily stressed out just at the thought of another male in my daughters' lives. I know that I can't do anything about it and it scares me to death. I have never met the man purely because I'm afraid of what I might do to him because my ex-wife had an affair with this guy before she left me for him. He is a homewrecker and that's all he is to me. My wife and I were really happy and had been together for 8 years before she met him. Ugh!! I'm gonna stop now....

I know that I went off subject a bit but I hope that my words helped you. Basically, everyone is different. In my honest opinion, you should ask a therapist if you have any doubts about whether your wife can handle the stress of parenting.
Good Luck an Best Wishes

 

[SimplyComplex]

At all costs, she needs to get well before children. If that is one thing I could change about my life, I would keep everything but get well before I became a mom.

 

[scott_1971_h]

It's OK to have children and if you are worried about what effect the PTSD might have on uyour children it is a pretty good start.
Both my parents (Yeti and Dud) have NPD to various degrees. And they dont give a toss what the effect their entire personalities had/have on ANYONE, much less their hostages (Kids).
Certainly get as stable as possible, medications, etc...
Scott

 

[Anna]

I agree with Jackson Smith. A good family support network helps loads. I have a family and it helps loads. Also takes your mind of things. I keep myself very busy so I never get time to stop and think ever :) I also know a lot of Vets who have families who do the same, keep busy and without their children they would not have that support and love.

Also it is very important to be stable and have come to terms with PTSD. Learning to live with it and being stable.