I really tried telling my boss today i am not doing ok. Told her i am way worse than the last time i crashed. I guess she wouldn't listen. She was all positive again about placing me and wanted to continue with the process and talked way to fast. She wants to celabrate it when it happens... well, i have nothing to celabrate. I don't give a damn about it, about anything anymore. I think she just wants to get rid of me. When i get placed i am not her problem anymore. At least in the end i got her to pace my hours, for now i have 4 days instead of 5..
She knows i am always pushing myself and they have to hold me back, so when i ask for less hours... it means to me something is wrong, she should react to that but didn't. She acknowlegded me being pushed to the edge by having me do way to much the last months, but that was that.
My company doc is on vacation so have to wait for his return to see him. Not that he will be of help.
Yesterday and today i asked for help, i told someone i was not doing ok, i have NEVER done that in my life. So this should have mend something right?... but i guess nobody really cares... so why should i? Had to leave work early after this conversation, just couldn't cope. I broke down and couldn't face my coworkers.
Not sure if i should try again when my company doc gets back and i get an appointment.
I don't care what happens to me anymore.
(Sorry for the rant again)
