Should I Tell This Part To The Police

[Friday]

An aside to this and my eye color. On my birth certificate it states the incorrect eye color. That's one way I figured out that my mother had an affair. No one in my family has my eye color. I know genetics is strange and some anomalies occur yet not with this particular eye color. Then years later a doctor thought I had this autoimmune disorder. All of my brothers have it and my stepdad (didn't know then he was my stepdad) so the doctor tested me for it. Nothing. No genetic marker. I think the doctor wanted to say that's impossible and possibly ask me if I was adopted or if I had a different father. He just looked at me in the oddest way. It wasn't appropriate for him to suggest adoption/different father though. Four years later I accepted that I had a different father.

You're sure you're not one of the kids he abducted?

 

[Deleted member 8714]

You're sure you're not one of the kids he abducted?

Hi Friday,
I'm certain he didn't abduct me or I'd be disposed of like the rest of the children were. My best friend has often wondered that. And I used to ask if I was adopted when I was a child. I didn't look anything like my brothers. Sense of taste is also genetic. My whole family can eat spicy foods. I can't tolerate them at all. Never could.

My mother lived in a different household with my stepdad. She had me visit my father several times as a child. My siblings came along. I remember distinctly the day that I realized this man, "The Crazy Man," was my father. I was five years old.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Where is your father now? Is he still alive?

I honestly don't know. I suspect he's still alive and living in the state where the crimes occurred.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Oops! I meant to say my siblings never came along with me to see my father. Though they met him.

 

[scout86]

Would it be possible to follow up with cold case investigators? This is a big deal and you probably have valuable information.

What you originally asked about, was that a dream or a memory? Do you know? Some dreams are based on things that really happened in clear and obvious ways, some aren't. If the FBI was involved, chances are local law enforcement knows. (Unless THEY were the ones being investigated.) Either way, if you can, it seems like it would be a good idea to bring this up with them again.
But be careful. This guy is clearly dangerous.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Hi scout86,
A long time ago I learned that a specific type of nightmare meant that it was a memory. It took me awhile to decode the difference between nightmares which stemmed from the PTSD and nightmares which were about the abuse. They started off a different way. The connection for me was nursery school/nursing school. For me, it was code for a memory not a PTSD nightmare. The reason for the nursery school nightmares was the relationship with my father started when my brother was in nursery school and I wanted to go with him. Only I realized I never went with my brother to nursery school. My mother lied to me about going to nursery school and coming home upset and never wanting to go back there. What really happened? She dropped me off to spend time with my father. I never went to nursery school with my brother. I came home from my father's place repeating a series of words again and again. They described what I witnessed my father doing, skinning and killing two people.

The nursing school part of the nightmare/memory came about from my time in nursing school and a trip I took the first summer of school. I went with my best friend to the East Coast. During my whole time there I was sick. I now know these were anxiety and panic attacks. The moment I left the East Coast and boarded an airplane all of my symptoms subsided. However when I got back to nursing school classes in September, I could no longer function as I did before. Seeing bodies which were injured, broken bones, ill, etc. triggered me and yet I had no idea why. That was the first time I entered therapy. I had a nervous breakdown and cried for three weeks straight.

I sent my short anecdotal addendum to the state police. And received an email in which one detective stated he was confused about why I sent it. Ahhhhh. I forgot that they probably don't know the story from the beginning. So I sent another email with the missing pieces of information so we'd be on the same page. A bad habit which I obviously need to keep fighting against; stop starting conversations in the middle.