Sleeping In The Dark? Any Advice?

[9029381]

Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong thread.

Some of my issues have gotten worse these past few weeks and in response I've switched my whole sleep schedule around. I go to bed at 8amish and wake up near 6pm. I'm scared to fall asleep in the dark, every shadow keeps me up. I live in a studio apartment with a roommate and can't keep the lights on, nor any night lights. On top of all this, I'm losing my ESA, a big dog who makes me feel safe enough to sleep at all. I don't know what I'm going to do without him or when I'm alone in my apartment at night.
Does anyone have any tips on how to calm down enough to sleep? Or to ignore things/shadows out of the corner of your eye and stuff?

 

[Naoru]

I'm not sure I'll be of any help as it's sounds that bother me, but it might have more to do with hypervigilance than the actual lighting/darkness. Maybe you could use various type of nightlights or dimmer lights that wouldn't be as intrusive for your roommate? or try meditations, routines, sound machines/phone apps (white noise or other sounds you could focus on to mentally go to a safe space), and mindfulness techniques to calm your senses prior to sleep? I don't know if you could handle it, but you could also try a eye mask. I hope you find something :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Have you tried a sleep mask?

 

[Anicca173]

I can't sleep without a nightlight, I also have a noise app on my phone. Meditating for a bit before bed can help too. It calms you down and helps your body prepare for sleep. I do it with the lights down and a few candles lit. I hope this helps you

 

[Lotis]

I would suggest surrounding yourself with as many things as possible that make you feel safe no matter how silly. This sounds really simple but it isn't; tell yourself there is nothing in the dark but shadows, remind yourself that you are alive and safe. If you feel strong enough sit in bed and look around the room, I mean really look and be present. Ignoring what makes you feel scared won't work - you need to confront your fears and remind yourself you are safe.
~L

 

[sarahbellum]

I'm on the same sleep schedule as you! And I hate the movement out of the corner of the eye panics, which I have as well. One thing I do that helps, if you're comfortable in the dark, is use a steam eye mask (they're expensive, but the warmth really soothes me). I try to meditate about an hour before I sleep, and I also use a blue nightlight. It looks less harsh for your roommate (maybe it won't keep them up?). Maybe a phone would have a way to modulate how bright the light is, so it only helps you.

I'm so sorry about your ESA. I understand how that would be stressful and panic inducing all on its own. My BFF cat that I've had for 13 years now is getting older, and it's upsetting on the daily.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Yes, I relate. I have always felt safer sleeping during daylight hours; all of my fears pop out at night.

There are some things you can do, even with a roommate:

1. It is very appropriate to have a nightlight. I'd ask her. Roommates need to be able to negotiate; it's just as important for you to have a nightlight as it is for her to have a pitch-dark room. Maybe she could wear an eye mask?

2. You could put a Chinese screen up to divide the two halves of your room. A screen wouldn't shut out all light, but it would keep the light from shining in her eyes.

3. A very small sleeping area can help; tiny spaces are easier to feel in control over. I sleep in my tiny spare bedroom with the door locked, and I even know people who sleep in walk-in closets with the door closed. Perhaps you can carve out such an area in your apartment. Getting creative here: you could even use refrigerator boxes to surround your bed as a barrier.

4. Put your bed in a corner.

5. Consider putting a long bed rail on the exposed side of your bed. It will give you that safe enclosed feeling, and will enhance your sense of safe boundaries. Worked for me.

6. A safe teddy helps some. I know of some who have Superman or other oversized hero dolls next to their beds as a sort of talisman.

7. Put fun sheets on your bed. I have Superman sheets/duvet that I still use when I get scared.

8. Check all the closets, doors, and under the bed.

9. Take a flashlight to bed with you.

10. Take a warm leisurely bath before bed. Drink soothing herbal tea at night.

11. No caffeine!

12. Have a bedtime ritual to help you make your bed a safe place. Read lighthearted books in bed. Use a nighttime prayer; in Orthodox Jewish prayer books (people of any faith could use it comfortably), there is a lengthy bedtime prayer that one says in bed; eventually, you will be able to recite it by heart in the dark, and hopefully fall asleep while saying it. I mention this particular one because it has it has a sense of warding, putting up boundaries against the Bad Guys.

Ben

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

My bed isn't entirely enclosed, but I installed curtain rods and curtains to make a sort of "room" for it. It looks like a canopy bed and my normal friends think it's sweet and cozy and have no idea that it makes me feel safe. Could you do that? And then you could get blackout curtains for it, which would allow you to have a flashlight or other light on inside your "room" without your roommate being able to see it.

I know the ultimate goal would be to sleep at night in the dark, but even just sleeping at night (even with the lights on) might help regulate you and make you feel calmer.