Small talk = entire session. anyone else do this?

[EveHarrington]

Why would he hate you?

 

[littleoc]

But I guess if I can make it a point to say at least one thing that’s more than small talk than that’s something. And I did that. So I’ll try to just be proud of that.

Be proud of every little thing you accomplish! It's okay if you take a little while. No one will mind.

 

[Suzetig]

I just know once I open that door I’ll be flooded with thoughts of him hating me. Which is just exhausting.

6 sessions is really early days, and this would be very good to talk through with him - sometimes talking about talking is a good thing. I also think each new layer of work can mean reestablishing trust, I've been seeing my T for a very long time now and still from time to time need to check out or test the relationship.

Go gently with yourself.

 

[Rose White]

The first time this happened was the session after a particularly painful one. I was a little shocked and upset that she allowed the entire time to be spent on small talk. When i left i felt sort of rigid and adult-like. When I reflected on it I realized that it was like my adult self coming out and protecting my child-self from the pain of the previous session. I realized that maintaining a protective distance is something I do. I don’t think i have fully returned to that painful child state again in session, or if I have never for longer than 5-10 minutes while I’m session. That super painful session had me laid out in child mode the entire time and as I was leaving. So the small talk now I see as a buffer.

I feel frustrated when I start to feel emotional and my T starts talking about something else instead of allowing me to dive as deep as possible into the feeling. However, maybe based on that really painful session where I was so regressive, she just allows little dips into the grief. I want the catharsis so badly, but maybe the slow release is okay.

 

[flowerapple]

I watch a lot of shows and movies so sometimes when I shut down and close up she would engage in a conversation about a new show she's watched or ask me about mine. She also does this because just coming into the building is a trigger for me because of what I talk about when I go. It tends to calm me enough and then she would slowly start to ask me more direct questions. Then when its time to go she would ask me what I am going to do for the rest of the week or what types of shows I have on my list (I actually have a really long list of shows to watch), or she would tell me what she has to do when she gets home, just to calm me and prepare me for leaving I guess.