So depressed

[loui50]

I'm so freakin depressed I can't even thing straight. It's different though. I'm not crying all the time. I'm angry alot and don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. I want to walk away from my family and I have never felt this way and it scares me. I have a great husband and to small kids. I love them all dearly but I just can't cope with caring for anyone but myself right now. My T mentioned inpatient treatment at my last session 2 weeks ago but I'm scared. I told my husband I was feeling really depressed and he just hugged me and said he loves me and cuddled up on the couch with me. I need help and encouragement. I need to make it to t on wednesday and talk through this.

 

[Raj]

Sorry your having a hard time. I'm having similar problems right now. For me just setting mini goals helps. Current goal keep talking here!

I wish you the best!

Raj

 

[mamachick]

Im so sorry you are feeling so bad. Its really good that you recognize how depression comes in so many forms. Are you on medications for depression? I know in patient is a scary thought and last resort. How long have you been feeling this bad? Do you have suicidal thoughts?

 

[loui50]

@brat17 It's been over a month. I take 3 different meds, SSRI, antiphychoic and Valium. I think about suicide all the time. Not like actually committing it, just about it. Suicidal Ideation I think it is called. My family is my world and I can't believe i just admitted I'm ready to give up on my lifelong dram of having this family. But that is how bad I feel.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

@loui50
I love my family dearly but I have felt the same way. I've been isolating from them a lot lately. I can only take care of them minutes at a time some days. Like Raj said, mini goals. The SI has been pretty constant for the past year. About ten days ago it turned into the real deal with a plan. Don't let that happen to you.
Was there something specific that made it bad this time? Something you can work out with your t or do you think that maybe you need a medication adjustment?

 

[mamachick]

Please try to take it one hour at a time, but remember, if it gets too bad you can always go to the ER. I hope you tell your therapist how bad it has become...it could be your meds. I went through a bout of similar when my kids were small (first time anti depressant) which worked great and I was off it in a few months. Since the ptsd, my kids are grown and lack support and have isolated so its my own fault that I can't drag out of bed. You have to take care of yourself and I know how difficult it is at times like this. Keep sharing and keep us posted please...

 

[WishfulThinking123]

@loui50 Sorry you are feeling this bad, I am glad that you get to see your t on Wed. (remember that's only 3 days away!) Do you spend any time outdoors in the sun or pool- getting outside may help. Taking a walk, swimming, or adult coloring are all things that help me. You shouldn't be feeling that down on an antidepressant as my T had to tell me last week- so it might be wise to talk to your doctor about how you're feeling and a possible medication adjustment?

 

[Changing4Best]

It wasn't long ago that I was dealing with similar feelings, although a different situation. I hope you can get the help that you need, from T. However, if you need to go to the H. you should. I kind of have a rule for myself that if I am doing serious considering of suicide, I will admit myself to the H. If it goes on for say, more than 20 minutes, and I have a plan, I don't take chances, I go!

 

[Grabballe]

I also felt that before. I want to be alone and shutdown all the people i know, but i realize that it wont help me at all. I just had to relax myself. My problem is I overthink that's why I'm really depressed.