I’m not sure if people need to know your trauma before understanding you? Mine is (nutshell) My mom was suicidal when I was very young and for a long time. My youngest daughter (an adopted dib of 3) became suicidal a while back. They were treated so bad before we got to them. Anyhoo...daughter made a spectacle of herself during a family session and graphically yelled at me just how she was gonna kill herself.
My brain broke. But pieces fell together for my docs. So now...I am doing ptsd therapy.
As I was originally saying tho...I’m a farm girl. My DH and I plan on having land and animals. So when my docs brought up me needing something to focus on for therapy...something that made me feel useful...getting chicks wasn’t a far fetch. We already have a big garden. I grew up on a farm. I know what I’m doing.
Fast forward three weeks of loving hen care. It was overcast day, that became sunny while I was inside tending to whatever. The chicks were in direct sunlight for an hour and they all died. My husband found them but I saw them...and god help me I can’t get the snapshots out of my head.
My husband immediately went and bought a new brood, which the docs say was the best thing, but I’ve just felt really weird since then.
I sit outside and watch the new chicks for hours. I feel in a daze.
I feel guilty about killing their sweet predecessors even if it was an accident! And I just feel beaten. But I feel empty too. Just disconnected.
So if anybody has something helpful....please share.
My brain broke. But pieces fell together for my docs. So now...I am doing ptsd therapy.
As I was originally saying tho...I’m a farm girl. My DH and I plan on having land and animals. So when my docs brought up me needing something to focus on for therapy...something that made me feel useful...getting chicks wasn’t a far fetch. We already have a big garden. I grew up on a farm. I know what I’m doing.
Fast forward three weeks of loving hen care. It was overcast day, that became sunny while I was inside tending to whatever. The chicks were in direct sunlight for an hour and they all died. My husband found them but I saw them...and god help me I can’t get the snapshots out of my head.
My husband immediately went and bought a new brood, which the docs say was the best thing, but I’ve just felt really weird since then.
I sit outside and watch the new chicks for hours. I feel in a daze.
I feel guilty about killing their sweet predecessors even if it was an accident! And I just feel beaten. But I feel empty too. Just disconnected.
So if anybody has something helpful....please share.