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- #25
Nicolette
Supporter Admin
Unfortunately I have to agree as I have similar thoughts.
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Relationship So Sorry I Wanted To Spend A Moment
- Post starter hopelives
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Unfortunately I have to agree as I have similar thoughts.
Sickofit - hope you have been getting through the day all right.
Do you have some coping skills in relation to the kids that you can use now? Settling down in one room with snacks, bedding, books, toys and everyone piling on and mellowing out for a while? Having the kids doing whatever they can to help get the necessary stuff done. Smiles and praise for a job well done, thanks for their efforts. Nothing major, just small things they already know how to do.
Declare a "10 minutes extra love for mommy" time? There are a lot of things that kids are happy to do for us if we only ask. A "let's try out all our hugs on each other time"? Small reliefs can go a long way sometimes, esp when the stress is high. Everyone feels it. Let them try to rub your feet for you (if you're not too ticklish!).
Also, I find that I try to do too much for my (non-PTSD) husband and realize that it's my automatic setting.Letting go of even a few small things (like: he's perfectly happy to heat up his own lunch or eat cereal - if I just let him know) can give me some relief. I don't have to be responsible for everything, all the time. It's hard not to take on things that were never meant to be mine in the first place.
Thinking of you, hang in there.
Do you have some coping skills in relation to the kids that you can use now? Settling down in one room with snacks, bedding, books, toys and everyone piling on and mellowing out for a while? Having the kids doing whatever they can to help get the necessary stuff done. Smiles and praise for a job well done, thanks for their efforts. Nothing major, just small things they already know how to do.
Declare a "10 minutes extra love for mommy" time? There are a lot of things that kids are happy to do for us if we only ask. A "let's try out all our hugs on each other time"? Small reliefs can go a long way sometimes, esp when the stress is high. Everyone feels it. Let them try to rub your feet for you (if you're not too ticklish!).
Also, I find that I try to do too much for my (non-PTSD) husband and realize that it's my automatic setting.Letting go of even a few small things (like: he's perfectly happy to heat up his own lunch or eat cereal - if I just let him know) can give me some relief. I don't have to be responsible for everything, all the time. It's hard not to take on things that were never meant to be mine in the first place.
Thinking of you, hang in there.
- Post starter
- #27
Well after a crappy day yesterday. I had a good sleep last night and things look better. :)
I had to have a talk to my husband and he seem to grasp that our friends really wanted to see us. He tend not to grasp peoples excitment or feelings at all. But he listen to me and things went well.
It truly was a great day. My husband had a talk to his friend and told him about the PTSD and his friend was really understanding and also said that his BIL has combat PTSD. So that was great. We took all 9 kids to the wildlife park and ended up comming back to mine having a salad roll and some great laughs. It truly was an awesome day.
I have praised my husband completely and he is now having down time. He was really lovely to me. Kids had a ball now we are all sitting down having some down time.
I think a lot of my overwhelmed feelings came from a few things that happen with my family and his general PTSD symptoms were just too much on top of that. But things are doing well now.
Thanks guys for listening to my whine. :)
I had to have a talk to my husband and he seem to grasp that our friends really wanted to see us. He tend not to grasp peoples excitment or feelings at all. But he listen to me and things went well.
It truly was a great day. My husband had a talk to his friend and told him about the PTSD and his friend was really understanding and also said that his BIL has combat PTSD. So that was great. We took all 9 kids to the wildlife park and ended up comming back to mine having a salad roll and some great laughs. It truly was an awesome day.
I have praised my husband completely and he is now having down time. He was really lovely to me. Kids had a ball now we are all sitting down having some down time.
I think a lot of my overwhelmed feelings came from a few things that happen with my family and his general PTSD symptoms were just too much on top of that. But things are doing well now.
Thanks guys for listening to my whine. :)
- Post starter
- #30
- Moderator
- #31
Nicolette
Supporter Admin
See what amazing strength you have within you Sickofit.... just keep up your sleep, rest when you need to and hopefully you won't get so overwhelmed again. Good work and great turnaround!
Being overwhelmed is a terrible feeling and I can empathize with you as to how you must feel at times. I also grew up with 6 brothers and sisters and being the eldest can understand how much work is required as I always had to help. I think I was changing nappies at the age of 10 until I left home. :rolleyes:
It sounds to me that perhaps by standing back a little your husband was able to free himself with the potential issues with friends thus alleviating another worry. While I totally appreciate you being angry at his family it actually can be detrimental to your marriage as it simply adds another stressor you can do without. It is not easy letting go of anger, as I have struggled with certain issues in my life, but it does cause more conflict and stress than what it is worth. I find if I go for a walk when angry it helps a lot - even if only for 15 minutes.
I am very happy for you :D
Being overwhelmed is a terrible feeling and I can empathize with you as to how you must feel at times. I also grew up with 6 brothers and sisters and being the eldest can understand how much work is required as I always had to help. I think I was changing nappies at the age of 10 until I left home. :rolleyes:
It sounds to me that perhaps by standing back a little your husband was able to free himself with the potential issues with friends thus alleviating another worry. While I totally appreciate you being angry at his family it actually can be detrimental to your marriage as it simply adds another stressor you can do without. It is not easy letting go of anger, as I have struggled with certain issues in my life, but it does cause more conflict and stress than what it is worth. I find if I go for a walk when angry it helps a lot - even if only for 15 minutes.
I am very happy for you :D
- Post starter
- #32
- Post starter
- #34
Well last night went well my husband spent some time with me and we laughed and had a nice night. I went to bed early and even had a little lie in this morning. Funny how sleep changes things.
My ex BIL has been causing some stress with my neices. He actually threatened my 15yr neice and she is of course very distressed and she is becoming depressed. I am beyond upset over that as I dont want my neice to go through what my husband is. But after sleep I feel more able to cope with it all.
As for my husband's family they just keep proving that they don't have a clue or care. I mean his nan makes one lot of contact once the true situation is made clear than they disappear. I shouldn't be shocked but I get annoyed as my husband gets upset about it. Wish things were different. But they aren't so no use caring.
Things are looking up. My husband was really honest with me about a few things that he had been avoiding talking about. It helps to just know what he is thinking as I thought he was looking at it another way. Also something I didn't think he cared about he actually did care about. So maybe communication is improving.
My ex BIL has been causing some stress with my neices. He actually threatened my 15yr neice and she is of course very distressed and she is becoming depressed. I am beyond upset over that as I dont want my neice to go through what my husband is. But after sleep I feel more able to cope with it all.
As for my husband's family they just keep proving that they don't have a clue or care. I mean his nan makes one lot of contact once the true situation is made clear than they disappear. I shouldn't be shocked but I get annoyed as my husband gets upset about it. Wish things were different. But they aren't so no use caring.
Things are looking up. My husband was really honest with me about a few things that he had been avoiding talking about. It helps to just know what he is thinking as I thought he was looking at it another way. Also something I didn't think he cared about he actually did care about. So maybe communication is improving.
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