So Then Sir, What Kind Of Help Do You Think You Need?

[Bravo06]

Thats so true! They do not have high standards for them selves! Because they do not need to! In the US the big shots have messed up the healthcare system so bad I am not sure what is going to happen. (Sorry Another Post) So these winners can just continue to roll you around with all your issues like a ball of wax because it is the best job security in the world.

I am the last person to talk down about someone and actually find so much personal strength from helping others. But call a pawn a pawn! Its just BS! To those of you that have a great therapist. Be grateful for what you have. They are out there. Some of us just have to keep on looking. Gods Speed!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

You are right, calling them a moron is a compliment.

JMH you are so so right.

After being screwed up by the Psycho-Terrorist nurse who should learn that to actually to to and not AT a patient, THEY had to make my day worse.

1) - Psychonursewhoneedstostoptalkinganddlisten - winds me up to cracking point.

2) - Decree-Nici lands in the Post.

3) - SHE gets the smallest cut to her poorly finger tip and WOW call the bloody medics her arm is going to fall off. NEENAW Ambulance and crash team on standy. HE rushed to stem the gushing fountains of blood and DEMANDS that I grab the first aid box whilst making HIS LUNCH......... I do NOT think so. Oh and apparently this major amputation of EPIC proportions will take two weeks to stop bleeding. UHHHHH I am the trained MEDIC in the family...... HE is the Narcissistic KNOB!

Brisk Power-walk and Santa is feeling .... **calmer** ......

 

[BloomInWinter]

That question has no obvious negative that I can see. It's a pro-forma question designed to open up a conversation.

My response to my therapist about that question has been to share the symptoms most distressing to me at that time. We used that as a basis for assessing my coping skills - or lack thereof - and give me suggestions of things to try. I decided early on in therapy to be willing to take suggestions, since what I was doing clearly wasn't working.

While we can use our time in therapy to be angry at the therapist, I decided that wasn't how I wanted to spend that time. No matter how a question felt to me in the delivery, I shared and tried to be teachable anyway. I am so glad I didn't allow my therapy get sidetracked into negative feelings about words or the way I experienced their delivery.

I know I am very reactive and things are not said the way I take them, because after we discovered the problems with dissociation I asked for, and received the approval to record my sessions. I discovered that I hear things in the therapy room very differently than how they are delivered. That helped me know my brain processing wasn't always accurate.

That question is a very important one, as they have no idea what we're hoping to get out of therapy unless we tell them. At some point, if we wish to benefit from therapy, we have to push against our trust issues to try to allow them in. I'm so glad I got out of the negative state looking for ways to be offended so I didn't have to look at how much I was hurting inside.

I get it. It's so much easier to go around mad at the world than to face myself in the therapy room. But my body just couldn't do that anymore. Building the therapeutic alliance requires some compassion, forgiveness, trust, and honesty from both sides. That means also tolerating questions we don't wish to face the answers to.

That doesn't make it easy.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@BloomInWinter I totally understand as I, whilst employed as a Police 999 Call-taker would have a set of trigger questions when dealing with critical incident calls. As part of that role I was expected to be able to deal with any call no matter how it presented to me.

My frustration is the continual barrage of questions that have already been asked.

My GP has been fantastic and never has to ask questions of me as he knows me as I am his patient.

I have been referred to this particular MH practice twice now and the assessor even stated that she had my notes with her. I have already told the therapy centre what I see as my needs when I filled out their question set. I should not be expected to repeat myself umpteen times though.

The last time I was assessed by these people was last October after I requested a referral as I was struggling.

I have no problem with answering the questions as to how I am feeling or what my 'SI' thoughts are.

But when the nurse sitting infront of me has at her finger tips every answer to every question I could be asked and those notes contain my expectations and therapy needs I am irked at being asked it yet again.

I apologise for my rantings. I have been doing really well recently by self therapy and learning all I possibly can about PTSD.[DOUBLEPOST=1402323020,1402322734][/DOUBLEPOST]Time for a Nap and chill down methinks as I am shattered now having only had 2 hours wleep in the last 2 days I have been that anxious as I was expecting to see a therapist and not just another assessment for whether I need to see a therapist. I just wish when the NHS send you these appointments they would actually inform the patient (Me - and anyone on here in therapy) the actual person I am going to see.

 

[Laura 2]

The good thing was that I was SO angry it shocked me out of my depression just enough to scream and call back to talk to a supervisor. Someone else answered and they actually helped.
Oh but I have never really gotten over that call. "How can I help you?!" Wtf? Argh!!!
You are right, calling them a moron is a compliment.

I've had this experience with the UK's 'Samaritans' - been so gobsmacked at the call answerer's moronness that I've been angered out of depression (though never shouted at them, just ended the call - especially when a guy called 'Andrew' started asking in a creepy way what I was wearing....eeuuuggghhhh.) The Samaritans are NOT a suicide hotline though. Their policy, shockingly, is to 'accompany' the suicider by staying on the line until the suicider either passes out or dies. That's something they don't advertise on their charity Christmas cards. How effed-up is that!

I was expecting to see a therapist and not just another assessment for whether I need to see a therapist.

Know this one too - they seem to keep you hooked up in 'reviews' and yet more 'reviews' about whether they'll send you for 6 or 12 weeks of inadequate counselling (not real psychotherapy) so they don't have to give you proper treatment. I seriously think they've all lost the plot: maybe there's just far too many people for the system to treat honestly and to the degree that's actually needed. (In my region they told me that nearly 20% of the whole adult population have been identified as needing MH services. That's just the people they know about.)

 

[digger]

The Samaritans are NOT a suicide hotline though. Their policy, shockingly, is to 'accompany' the suicider by staying on the line until the suicider either passes out or dies. That's something they don't advertise on their charity Christmas cards. How effed-up is that!

I don't want to take this thread off topic, but I wonder what defines a suicide hotline for you?

The Samaritans support and respect personal choice. No, they won't force you to get help if you really don't want it, or demand that you give them identifying information so that they can send help whether you want it or not. They will talk through options with you though and if you do decide you want help, they will get you emergency help that you need. For a lot of people I think that makes them more approachable and lives get saved because of it.

As with any organisation, especially those manned by volunteers, unfortunately sometimes you're going to get the wrong person on the end of the phone. On the whole though, they are an organisation that saves many, many lives every year, and personally I think that is in part due to the non judgemental and unforceful approach that they take. I don't think that's f*cked up at all. Just my opinion though. :)

Edited to add - and to keep it slightly more on topic ;) - it was actually the samaritans that kept me going when the NHS f*cked me around so very much, and helped me get strong enough to consider and arrange private therapy for myself instead. I basically had pretty much daily email contact from them for several months at a time when I didn't feel I had anywhere else left to turn for support. I do believe they kept me alive in that time.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I hope you get some sleep. PTSD is hard enough without insomnia.

It is a normal, ethical, typical question which therapists ask all patients. They aren't just trying to annoy us. They use such a question to assess how present we are, how much distress we're in at the moment, and which issues are most urgent to us at that time. They evaluate whether or not we can make eye contact, have anxiety air-hunger, sweating. They assess whether or not we are orientated to time, place, and person. They evaluate whether or not our words are making sense or are the word-salad of a deeply distressed brain. None of these things can be assessed by looking at a chart.

It is always our choice to get angry about it, but how much help can we realistically expect if we dictate the way they do their jobs just in the first few minutes of meeting them? Keep in mind that I'm only saying this because I've been there. I fired my CBT. therapist right after the first few appointments, then again just weeks later. I got over that, after much pain and anguish. I get it. It sucks.

What would be an appropriate therapy response that you would like them to say & do? Perhaps writing it down and handing it to the person as soon as they are in the room would help it go the way you feel it should.

 

[cherryblossom]

I totally agree with @digger with regards to the UK Samaritans, and trust me, going back a few years, I called them daily, and frequently more than once a day. And as with any situation, there will be the odd 'bad apple', and also sometimes just personal clashes. It happens - that's life. But basically, they have saved my life on more than one occasion and also made my day or night more bearable more times than I can remember.

Back to @Santa_Laurie . I see this is a vent, and other stuff happened to add fuel to the fire of a bad day. And I know how appalling the NHS can be when it comes to mental health. However, also having been a medic, I also know how important it is to actually hear from the patient, rather than just read notes. I know it's frustrating to be asked the same questions again and again, but from a medical perspective it's not good practice just to read medical notes, believe everything written, and not engage with the patient.

There's always the chance that your medical notes are wrong, or that a previous doctor misinterpreted you. I think it's all the more important with 'mental health' (for want of a better phrase), simply because things can be easily misinterpreted, or recorded badly.

For example, if you were having heart attack, and you medical doctor read your notes, and looked at all your test results, your ECG, your blood results, they could pitch up at your bed side and say, you're having a heart attack - all your test results prove that . . this is how I'm going to treat treat you. Because it's kind of facts there in black and white. Equally, if they were still not sure, if the results weren't conclusive, they might ask you further questions.

Anyway, hopefully, you get my point . . psychiatry isn't an exact science, and they want to check you out for themselves.

Having been through the NHS process, I will agree, that's it's not always ideal, and I came across a lot of barriers, and some less than perfect care-providers myself. But stick with the process, and ask to see someone else, and ask for a second opinion, if you aren't happy that you are being given proper consideration.

I wish you well.

 

[Laura 2]

@digger - I wouldn't want to derail the thread, but just to say that I've had some stunningly good conversations with Samaritans yet a number of extremely unhelpful ones too. I accept all your well-made points, but still am shocked at an official policy that assists suicide. Despite some good experiences, my situation called for, as it still does, not talking but doing.

 

[cherryblossom]

am shocked at an official policy that assists suicide.

I don't believe they assist suicide, my understanding is that they provide support to an individual who has already, unequivocally made that decision. That is very different to 'assisting'.

 

[shimmerz]

psychiatry isn't an exact science, and they want to check you out for themselves.

I get this but the difference between our issues and a heart attack is that probing is just what we don't need 'in the moment' of crisis. It throws us off even more. It causes anxiety. It is a fine line - I get that - but I am going to say that we have a COPE line here where I absolutely could not breathe, could not speak properly, was desperate for help in grounding (a big trigger for me is address) was not suicidal - but they kept asking for my address. Seems simple right? Well for me, stating my address is a step away from hell. They don't know that - but I suggest if the person calling the crisis line cannot answer something - move on and get to something that they can ground to.

I had a great experience with a company called St. Elizabeth's who knew my background. They were a phone call away and knew exactly what helped me to ground. My car. So I was in a house and this one woman said to me 'Where are you now?" Response, "at a friend's house" and her response was "Where is your safe place" "Ummmmm - nowhere?" She reminded me that it was in my car and to just sit in my car until I could breathe again. Not to drive but to sit. Helped wonders.

Then again I got another person from the same place who told me she couldn't help me because I was driving out of their area. Ummmm.....I am homeless - "well if you aren't driving within this range I can't help you". Luckily I had the wherewithal to think myself out of that one and corrected myself to say I was in the area. So I learned who to talk to and asked for those that helped me - and refused to talk to others.

 

[Bravo06]

Sorry Im on my iPhone and did not read everyone's posts. (Concentration Issues)
But I did want to say that I was a frequent flyer with the Call Line and most likely spoke to everyone in NY at the center. Its like any other service provider. They get burned out and some should not even be there. So sorry to see that someone asked about what you were wearing. Thats some BS!! Not cool at all. A few times I really needed to talk to someone because my IBS was really bad. Like it is lately.
I found myself trying to explain how I need to wear protection and this girl was like WHAT! Lol She just could not understand. I tried to explain and after about 10 min of that decided on maybe not giving the whole description to her. Its crazy the stories we can tell. I joke with my friends about being able to have my own reality show. I really could have one. Most of us could.
Be safe and help someone when you can.