Relationship Social media question

[JM318]

I may be overthinking things.. but I just wanted to know others opinions..

My vet is symptomatic and I agreed to give space. The last 2 days (he only has Snapchat) his first post was “I don’t know what I would do without these clamps in my life” (referring to work) then his second one was “treat yo self” with a picture of the gift card for massage (we were supposed to use it together) and now he cut himself per usual and took a picture of his finger bleeding and said “the pain train is a-coming”....

Does it sound like he’s trying to poke at me? Maybe a little bit? He knows I can see the post but I didn’t actually click on them bc I didn’t want to give him the “satisfaction” but he has been checking mine, which I haven’t posted much. I’m just curious, during his “decompression” can he be being a little bit of a jerk and trying to get a rise out of me? I have not reached out to him.. but it seems like his feelings are back and forth. We have this thing about putting our business on social media, which he hasn’t but I have this nagging feeling that he’s trying to be a jerk, which means he’s at his “I don’t give a f*ck” stage. So stay clear?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Stay clear... don't try to interpret or look for signs.

 

[EveHarrington]

Wait, did he cut himself on purpose and post it on social media?

 

[JM318]

Wait, did he cut himself on purpose and post it on social media?

No he always cuts himself at work or doing something around the house, it’s an almost daily occurrence

 

[littleoc]

If you’re getting mixed signals, you should go ahead and assume it’s not going to work out.

Just my experience.

That sounds very aggravating, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that

 

[EveHarrington]

Hmm. Still, it’s just a little odd to me that people post pics of injuries online. I don’t think that there’s any other motive other than attention getting. Then again, 99.9% of pics posted online are for attention getting.

My advice?

Stop looking at his social media accounts. Don’t play his game.

Later if he asks, just say “oh I didn’t notice, I haven’t looked at your accounts in awhile.”

As an aside, I kind of think it’s ridiculous that people post indirect communication on social media as a way of staying in “contact” with one another. It seems manipulative in a round about sort of way. Then again, I’m direct all the way, so people in my life contact me directly, via text or whatever. I think if something is important, people should be contacted directly and not assume that I’m following them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and _____ in order to be kept up to date with their life. Otherwise it’s just non essential information that’s been posted to the masses and has no urgency.

It’s not urgent? He doesn’t contact you directly? Pay no attention.

 

[Justmehere]

So stay clear?

Yes, stay clear and don't read into it. Follow the boundaries you both set up a few days ago.

As far as interpreting the social media posts: stay away from trying to read his mind. Many of us try to do it with relationships and it's usually (almost always) wrong. Very wrong.

His social media posts may not have anything to do with you at all. (Which is fairly likely.) If it does have to do with you, then it's a really poor way to communicate it, and by trying to read into it, you'll only feed it.

Don't give it any power. Ignore it. Carry on with your life.

 

[Confused_84]

I would also ignore it if I were you. It will add to your stress trying to figure it all out. I am currently in the same boat you’re in. I keep looking for things that would mean my ex still wants me and I have been trying to cling to hope he will be back which is why I am on here constantly trying to analyze everything.

However, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that my ex might not come back. If he’s not getting any help, I’m not sure I want him to come back. While I love him, I don’t think I can live my life a nervous wreck every time he gets stressed out or overwhelmed. I also don’t like walking on eggshells.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

he cut himself per usual and took a picture of his finger bleeding and said “the pain train is a-coming”....

Sounds like BPD. Or at least manipulative and attention getting. But who knows who these posts were directed at. If it was directed at you and if he asks about it (as I would not bring it up to him) then tell him that you didn't look at his facebook page and would rather be directly communicated with. It's good that you've got a boundry about not putting your business on social media. Now make a boundry that if he's going to communicate at all with you, it needs to be a direct form of communication. But don't read into it as usually your wrong and way off the mark.