Before I write this post, I know I’m stupid, I know I was being a doormat in any case. I’m just after advice not to be slated.
My husband left me a year and a half ago. Before he left he was repeatedly messaging a woman whom he worked with and hiding his phone constantly.
Randomly one day he upped and left and messaged me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Few weeks later it became apparent he was in a relationship with this woman. He denies to this day that he left me for her.
Months went by and because I loved him and I guess angry at her I continued to sleep with him. 3 months into their relationship he told me he would leave her for me and he was sorry and all the rest of it. He messaged me all the time and stayed at my house and we had sex.
The next morning he told me he was sorry but he couldn’t be with me as he loved her. I was distraught. I had a rebound relationship and he did nothing but mother me when I was in it. It ended and we continued to have sex behind her back.
About 6 months it went on like this and then they split up. She wanted to go stay at her ex’s house and he didn’t feel this was right so he ended it. I don’t really know how it happened but we seemed to message and it became a lot more.
We went on dates and he even took me to his work where I stayed with him all night. That night I specifically asked him if he sees himself getting back with her and he said no. He told me she was better in bed than me and then seemed to be shocked that I was hurt.
He dropped me off home after his shift and he came in to have some sleep. We had sex beforehand. He woke up, went home and messaged me thanks for coming. Conversation went on and I asked him where I stood as I felt like a carrot on a string. He said don’t push and let’s not rush. We talked about a mortgage and he wanted me to get it in my name but put him on the deeds which I found a bit strange.
He messaged me constantly about how he can’t come back as he doesn’t like my family. I told him I would t allow him and my family to be in the same place. He said he can’t do it because he thinks I will go back to being controlling and moody. I told him I wouldn’t. He then said he can’t come as I wouldn’t trust him. To all the examples I gave he had an answer and kept coming back with how bad I am. Not once mentioning how bad he’s been.
The next day he randomly messaged me saying he thinks we are better as friends as too much has happened. I cried and cried and he didn’t care. She had been in touch and changed her mind. Anyway I told him I was going to divorce him to which he replied why do you have to rush everything, why can’t you just give me time to think about what I want. He then deleted me off messenger as he went to spend the night with her. He told me he has to spend the night with her to decide what he wants.
He constantly lies and manipulates. If at some point I start to get over him he feels me back in with emotional abuse. He will say things like. You wouldn’t move on if you really wanted to be with me. And then if I’m over him he will say bad things about her and tell me he only said the good things about her because he’s annoyed at my behaviour. He told me if I wanted to be with him I would pay a bill for him out of morals.
Everything he says he makes me think I was the bad person in the relationship. When I say something bad about him he will turn it around onto me saying I caused it or I only did that cause you did this or he won’t even answer it at all. He told me he has savings so I asked him to take some out to pay for our divorce to which he said he didn’t really have savings so he can’t afford a divorce. A load of other things he has done to me but this post would go on forever.
Can you tell me if he’s a sociopath or narcissistic. Surely there is something wrong with this man.
My husband left me a year and a half ago. Before he left he was repeatedly messaging a woman whom he worked with and hiding his phone constantly.
Randomly one day he upped and left and messaged me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Few weeks later it became apparent he was in a relationship with this woman. He denies to this day that he left me for her.
Months went by and because I loved him and I guess angry at her I continued to sleep with him. 3 months into their relationship he told me he would leave her for me and he was sorry and all the rest of it. He messaged me all the time and stayed at my house and we had sex.
The next morning he told me he was sorry but he couldn’t be with me as he loved her. I was distraught. I had a rebound relationship and he did nothing but mother me when I was in it. It ended and we continued to have sex behind her back.
About 6 months it went on like this and then they split up. She wanted to go stay at her ex’s house and he didn’t feel this was right so he ended it. I don’t really know how it happened but we seemed to message and it became a lot more.
We went on dates and he even took me to his work where I stayed with him all night. That night I specifically asked him if he sees himself getting back with her and he said no. He told me she was better in bed than me and then seemed to be shocked that I was hurt.
He dropped me off home after his shift and he came in to have some sleep. We had sex beforehand. He woke up, went home and messaged me thanks for coming. Conversation went on and I asked him where I stood as I felt like a carrot on a string. He said don’t push and let’s not rush. We talked about a mortgage and he wanted me to get it in my name but put him on the deeds which I found a bit strange.
He messaged me constantly about how he can’t come back as he doesn’t like my family. I told him I would t allow him and my family to be in the same place. He said he can’t do it because he thinks I will go back to being controlling and moody. I told him I wouldn’t. He then said he can’t come as I wouldn’t trust him. To all the examples I gave he had an answer and kept coming back with how bad I am. Not once mentioning how bad he’s been.
The next day he randomly messaged me saying he thinks we are better as friends as too much has happened. I cried and cried and he didn’t care. She had been in touch and changed her mind. Anyway I told him I was going to divorce him to which he replied why do you have to rush everything, why can’t you just give me time to think about what I want. He then deleted me off messenger as he went to spend the night with her. He told me he has to spend the night with her to decide what he wants.
He constantly lies and manipulates. If at some point I start to get over him he feels me back in with emotional abuse. He will say things like. You wouldn’t move on if you really wanted to be with me. And then if I’m over him he will say bad things about her and tell me he only said the good things about her because he’s annoyed at my behaviour. He told me if I wanted to be with him I would pay a bill for him out of morals.
Everything he says he makes me think I was the bad person in the relationship. When I say something bad about him he will turn it around onto me saying I caused it or I only did that cause you did this or he won’t even answer it at all. He told me he has savings so I asked him to take some out to pay for our divorce to which he said he didn’t really have savings so he can’t afford a divorce. A load of other things he has done to me but this post would go on forever.
Can you tell me if he’s a sociopath or narcissistic. Surely there is something wrong with this man.
