Somatic? physical problems

[Punky143]

I have a lot going on inside and out. I had my gallbladder removed in January due to stones, hot flashes etc. I recovered from that but still have hot flashes, swollen legs, pain in my lower right lung and...a lump in my breast. I'm not surprised though based on the relentless chronic traumatic stress I'm under. Addressing trauma from the past as well as more recent traumas has sent me into survival mode at the cost of my wellbeing. I'm going to the Drs today but I have a huge dilemma. One if my angry parts had an incident this weekend and scratched my stomach as well as other recent self inflicted marks. I have learned the hard way to keep my medical conditions separate at my pcp office from my psych since it only proves to destroy any hope of being treated like a person. I'm scared for obvious reasons(cancer) but keeping to myself because I don't want sympathy from people who normally don't stay in touch. If tests come back not in my favor, then I'll tell someone. It's as if my already lonely world gets bigger and I'm at a loss...

 

[Emily L]

How did your Dr appointment go?

 

[Punky143]

How did your Dr appointment go?

Hi, well I have a lump and 2 cysts on my other breast. Its been over a week and I still need to call to schedule surgery, I'm worried.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am understanding why you are worried. I hope that it is just the two cysts and everything else will be just fine for you. I can understand putting off the call, no one likes the thought of having surgery when there is an element of being scary. I hope that you treat yourself good and not bad for not being ready yet to make the call. I hope that you can be able to sort through your feelings and thoughts and have some peace of mind.:hug:

 

[Punky143]

I called and followed through and I'm clueless as to why. My dissociation is increasing, I can feel it especially after today. I met with a newish med provider although I was a past pati

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had a therapist who explained to me that we dissociate because we do not feel safe in the moment, based on real fears. I wonder if this is a part of what you are dealing with?