Sufferer Someone Died Today

[novemberDark]

Today 3 soldiers of the ca army checked out of life. That sucks for an intro ( been in here and a novice on forum web site) but reading. Today just sucks a...s. I want to f.....g scream cannot.get out of my skin today is just an fxxxn day!!!!!!"f today man! F today !!!.

 

[novemberDark]

I wish id stuck by not listening to the news.

My sufferer has retired from the news. I should have done the same!
I hate this, turns me feakshow today. I hate militairy conditioning. I hate the fn wiring for.survival, creating a sense of control over the forever uncontrollably of survival which ends up trivial in a war zone.

I hate the false sense of control that makes believe prior to, only on the spot your put there. I wish we could uncondition this bs re- wired state of being , wired systematically, thriving on basic instinct human survival. Fn today is just aa bad day!. What the f since that button was turned on with the pupose of protection of self and others. There is no way back from it, no paradigm back. I'm so mad today I feel so lost today, I wanna knock the walls ou if my apt.

 

[arfie]

Intense physical workouts help me when I get like this. Preferably a workout which permits loud noises and hitting something. Sometimes I pull out my guitar and channel the screams into a song. Other times I just share it with a brother or sister in healing. Other times ranting about it over the internet is enough.

That does suck, November Dark. Hope you find your relief.

edit: I am with your sufferer. I avoid the random news to avoid getting blind-sided like this. I censor news heavily.

 

[WillyKat]

The "news" isn't news any more. Real life gets filtered for sensation, titillation, and marketability, then stripped down bite-size nuggets, and spewed forth with phony "feelings". Ever notice news casters switch from a story of death where they look sad and then instantly perk up about something happy?

Yeah, turn off the news, turn off the TV.

Hang in there.

 

[novemberDark]

Thank Arfie still fd up but calmed down. Was meeting with ppl now idea but still helps forced stay rational. Ok now do crazy workouts too. Thank y

 

[novemberDark]

I wasn't blind sided by the tv news ( been outside of that matrix for 14 years). I heard it on the radio, while listening to music, about 3 men down by own hand. I'm very auditory, sometimes you just can't get around it. In a way I'm glad I heard, as sick as that sounds, I just hate ptsd!

 

[novemberDark]

Its something I wish I could fight' take out' kill kbock out, take down.

 

[intothelight]

Hi novemberdark ,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

Workouts are a great idea and it is good that you use them to help burn off the adrenaline. It is extremely difficult to manage the "fight" response when it starts, but catching it early is usually best. Some people find breathing exercises or using those in a combination with another method helpful.

There is a related forum you may also find beneficial, MyCombatPTSD.com.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[novemberDark]

Thanks Debbie,

That link is for vets I checked it out. I'm not in the service, never have been.
Very good place, that site there. . I've send my sufferer that link and I thank you for that.

 

[Tinyflame]

It is a bit of a different perspective I think from with ptsd, than without, less shocking to hear when you have it (but horrendous all the same :( ). I don't have the same energy to fight with, or speak up for others. But anger can be the beginning of courage, please try not to be afraid for your Vet. I feel like less of a 'freak' because it's more common (suicide and ptsd, here combat or military-related), but discouraged when I know how others suffer and how their loved ones will suffer too. :( :cry: But, I am glad to see others have come forward (on the news) to encourage Vets that there is help.

Hugs to you NovemberDark.

 

[novemberDark]

I know and I am guilty for wanting to beat it off out of him, crawl into the head and start sweeping away everything. But I can't! All I could say was put snow in your neck, on the phone, vomit because you say you feel like it, find a place around and sit down there, eat something feel something.

Its that rollercoaster once its going, it roles! Than full stop everything just a ok ' like nothings going on. Great but were the heck do I put my marbles? . At times I was questioning my own concept of reality. Sure I live much like a viking, in the moment, in the now! But even then that rollercoaster it passes me by. I know it sounds nuts, but I have no other way to put it. I also have found no place yet to put those feelings at.

 

[novemberDark]

Never told him you will seek it destroy. Just don't know. Just like snow, snow shoveling there will be eventually no place to put it on top. Everything will come tumbling down.I want everyone to be ok, I want everyone to shake it, to shake it all off.

Tomorrow is another day. That's my wish for the new year every other tomorrow day! Lets shake it all offf! !!!!"!!!!!!!all. Those who have kids bless you ! Happy x mass season. Got a strange call after being on this site but put the number out here. I'm putting this number out here by this guy who said he was my boyfriend. Very creep 252 634834834858 in the process myself of following up on this one.