Someone tell me i'm pretty

[Abstract]

What forced me to take care of myself from a grooming perspective was realising that my previous lack of grooming identified me as a victim and screamed out to the world that I hated myself. I don't want to slap a target on my forehead so try with body language and other things to send out a different signal. Yuck. I pushed through the self disgust, shame and fear and made myself do the basics. Clothes that more or less fit. Clean civilised hair etc. No longer looking like I was trying to walk around with a paper bag over my head. Very exposing feeling to do this and brings up a lot of fear and shame but I have had to use my wise mind to overcome it. It brought out a mass of symptoms including flashbacks when I started. I think we somatise a lot if things.
Staying my healthiest weight is still more of a challenge and I haven't won in this department yet despite no longer having eating disorders.

 

[frogthroat]

I literally have felt so much better since I became androgynous.
Before I was wearing makeup to work and I got harassed by this old guy for months until I finally had to tell a supervisor about it even after I told the guy to leave me alone. It was ridiculous. I couldn't even eat lunch in the break room without him sitting down next to me and trying to schmooze me into getting a drink.
Now I don't get that at all and I actually feel more confident this way. I've realized over the years that I don't care about society's beauty standards and while some situations might not work out for me because I'm not "conventially attractive" enough I don't care. I feel free.
Feeling attractive has so much more to do with feeling comfortable with yourself than physical appearance. Beauty fades and if that's the only thing that made you feel good about yourself then that will fade too.
Everybody has times where they hate the way they look. I think about what you like and what makes you feel comfortable and confident. You'll get more comfortable in your own skin over time and it won't matter what a man or woman thinks of you because you'll have that inner peace.