Something Is Rotten In Denmark

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. I prefer relief from depression and anxiety... financial stress??? Lordy that one, is my flash point. If I had a magic wand, I'd whack us both on the head with it.

 

[Kailani]

i am trying to do the actions then hopefully the mind will follow. Hope you feel all the warm wishes and support. Alone is a feeling and not necessarily a reality. So many things going on in your life-maybe you are a bit overwhelmed. My friend told me one little problem at a time instead of looking at the overwhelming demands. You sound like you are moving forward-there is no shame in getting assistance especially if u have paid into it in your life!! I had to use a food bank when i was out of work from surgery... they were awesome-tons of fresh vegees. Vegees don't make ya fat!!! What great writing!!!!

 

[Friday]

Do you have examples of middling? Gentling?

Physical... (Gross motor, & reactive thinking)
Sex, dancing, sparring, diving, swimming, jogging, bouncing (think trampoline), singing, gymnastics, musical instruments, et cetera.

Mental... (Fine motor, & detail oriented thinking)
Art, writing, great books, driving, shooting, weapons cleaning / knife sharpening, academic research, photo editing, et cetera.

Sensory... (Movement & thinking optional)
Massage, music, showers, foodie food, hot&cold (steamy hot shower, icy cold drink... Cool swim & hot chocolate... serious research & Disney cartoons... French fries dipped in chocolate shake... Dry hot sauna and cold river plunge... Sleeping bag & star watching), hair brushing, incense, snuggles (blankets, pets, people, whatever), silky or fuzzy clothes, perfume, et cetera.

* * *

Generally when I'm over the moon about something? It falls into physical, mental, or sensory arenas (can be social, as well). To gentle the landing back into being balanced? I use something different. Sort of Equal&Opposite. If I had a super mental day, I'd blow off steam by doing something physical, or sensory. If I'm all over-stimulated from sensory stuff, I go take my brain for a walk or body for a run. Physical? I curl up with something mental or sensory.

The trick about it being middling, is that if I switch from SuperExcitingWow physical, to SuperExcitingWow mental? I'm still going to be all jacked up. I need to pick something interesting, but not something as exciting as what I'm trying to chill over. It's still grounding and blowing off stress... Just relaxing good stress (SuperExcitingWow) into happy/content.

I tend to want to cling onto good stress. LOL. Cause good stress feels good! But blowing off that steam (sparkle!) is as important as blowing of anger steam in managing stress levels. Doesn't mean I have to be unhappy (the reverse), I just need to shift gears from bursting with shazaam to warmly content, so I don't go from shazaam to suicidal.

 

[Kintsugi]

That was damned thorough and awesome.

Although I have to say you started with "sex"... Took my mind a minute to recover everything following. ;)

Unfortunately, the probability of that particular release is increasing my anxiety this week. Polyglot touches down in Simonland in t-minus... 7 days 7 hours. :eek: (but also :happy:)

*cough* I did say a friend was coming, ja?

More seriously, though, him coming is amping everything up, including depression (and it's definitely not helping with the anorexic thoughts/feelings/inactions [ala not eating]). When I have access to someone with PTSD or developmental trauma, my filter--verbal and emotional--just plummets. Add in a co-worker with PTSD and my symptoms are just itching to fly upwards (and they do).

I think I had an auditory hallucination today. F*ck shit f*ck.

 

[jaccat]

Don't really have any advice but wanted to say I relate to the no money being an excuse for not eating. Done that. Didn't stop until I nearly fainted in class one day. Whoops. But I guess we both know it's an excuse not to care about ourselves.

Oh and the hallucinations- aren't they fun? How to make people think you're really crazy (I once ran away from something that wasn't there in the middle of a drama class- I'm still convinced it was real!).

Oh, and @FridayJones advice is awesome (as always;)).

 

[Anarchy]

if nowhere to cook, you can make an alcohol burner out of a soda can, or a grill outta charcoal & a throw away tinfoil box.

Be bloody careful with the second one!
Like only do it outside, absolutely no restrictions to the ventilation. you seriously risk ending up as a cabbage if the ventilation isn't perfect.

 

[Anarchy]

Hugs @Simply Simon

 

[TXbandit]

Keep that pretty, little head of yours up, gal. Hate to hear that depression is kicking your ass at the moment. I'm in the same boat and it's got a little leak. I'm patching away and it's getting better.

Maybe when Polygot gets in some of that nastiness will settle down. Thinking of you my dear friend. Hang in there. :hug:

 

[Ronin]

@Simply Simon, is there something about eating patterns that's not stressful? Or that is stressful but beats the worse stresses? Something that you could use?

(Eg., I'm still sucking with food rather hard because of all the aamazing not edible schtuff flashbacks turn a lot of it in my head, and the fact food was often punishment in my life. However, I just love the thought of food being a way to be with people more; if I eat semi-healthily, I have the energy to be helping people, and also a way to join with people better socially, because it's a part of so many people's days intensively. And there's a lot of room for exploring safety with food, things I haven't tried yet, things none of my abusers knew of, things that exist in a safe & to-be-explored land yet. It doesn't move trauma & histories away on itself. But it's another way to feel about a huge topic.

So got wondering if you have anything log-in-the-river-while-drowning you could hold onto, with food?)

 

[Kintsugi]

@Cashew I have certain "safe" foods and "safe" food rituals, but money and location prevents me from enacting a lot of those. Besides, my f*cked-up brain says, aren't you proud to be running on 800 calories today?

 

[Ronin]

@Simply Simon your brain is right in this - partially. It's really good you're still running, it's something to be proud of, and an accomplishment.

It's just that there are ways to be doing that better, if not right now, as a future option and something to keep going back to considering.

(Dum dum, the bells of perfectionism & 'I'm messing up anyway so why bother' are the ones that needa lay off that sound too, tho. I mean, if you've got any similar bells like that, don't mean to judge others by myself.)

 

[Kintsugi]

I feel bad, bad, bad.

Sick sick sick ill.

Someone fish me from below the surface before I drift to the Bottom.