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Songs You Relate To

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The Dead Weather
The Difference Between Us

I'm not the way that you found me
I'm neither here nor there
One day I'm happy and healthy
Next day ain't doing so well

Let's go walk to the border
Let's go walk along the edge
Let's go where no one can see us
And find the difference between us

You can cry like a baby
Just let me do what I need to
It might be to me or to you
Just let me do what I need to

... This song makes me think about how isolating the experience of PTSD can feel sometimes, even though there are so many of us suffering. At the same time, it feels like it says "eff this I will do what I have to to beat this".
 
Lionheart, you are a bada*s.

Keep in mind that the following song is like ten minutes long and was really hard to condense.

But it hits on a lot of topics for me: academic excellence and its pitfalls, insecurities/trust issues (especially with men), flexibility of character/undeveloped sense of self and "real" personality, uselessness/brokenness, unworthiness, craving love.

The Dresden Dolls
The Perfect Fit

I used to be the smart one
Top in my class
Funny what they give you
When you just learn how to ask
I used to be the tight one
Smart as a whip
Funny how those compliments can
Make you feel so full of it!

I can shuffle, cut, and deal
But I can't draw a hand
I can't draw a lot of things
I hope you'll understand
I'm not exceptionally shy
But I've never had a man
Who I could look straight in the eyes
And tell my secret plans

I can change my name
And I could be your type
I can dance and win at games
Like backgammon and life...

Won't you just do it for me?
I'll pay you well
f*ck, I'll pay you anything if you can end this
Can't you just fix it for me?
It's gone berserk
Oh f*ck, I'll give you anything
If you can make the damn think
Can't you just do it for me?
I'll pay you well
f*ck, I'll pay you anything if you can end this

Hello I love you won't you tell me your name?
Hello, I'm good for nothing
Will you
Love
Me
Just
The
Same?
 
Sometimes I forget that compound vulgarities aren't auto-censored. >.<

Good thing I now have 48-hour editing!
 
JET
Are You Gonna Be My Girl

"Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!
I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
ain't got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
Uh, be my girl.
Be my girl.
Are you gonna be my girl?! Yea!"
 
This is so relevant right now it hurts.

Tool
The Grudge


Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate
Desperate to control all and everything
Unable to forgive your scarlet letterman

Clutch it like a cornerstone
Otherwise it all comes down
Justify denials and
Grip 'em till the lonesome end
Clutch it like a cornerstone
Otherwise it all comes down
Terrified of being wrong
Ultimatum prison cell...

Hang on or be
Humbled again...

Wear the grudge like a crown
Desperate to control
Unable to forgive
And sinkin' deeper...

Saturn comes back around
Lifts you up like a child
Or drags you down like a stone
Consume you till you

Choose to
Let this go
Choose to
Let this go
 
Super inner child song with me. Again, very long song that I tried to cut.

Katzenjammer Kabarett
(more of) Gemini Girly Song

Silent moans, oh mommy please help me
Kiss her, no kill her! Please help this uneasy
Dolly mixture of feelings and shadow
Anger and joy, tension and sorrow
And everything blows...

Through the moonlit forest pale feet run fast
Trying to escape from herself, aghast
The very last step was made to the river
Where lily-white dresses will float forever
Forever and ever

Everything hastened in a fake roundabout
Poor gemini girl she found no way out
By her lily-white hem the dead dollies took her
And tied her to dreams forever and ever

Gemini girly came and said to me
Don't you be worried, I lie with dollies
And they look after me
Just like sweet mommy used to do for me
And now every night she comes in my sleep
Now every night she comes in my sleep

Gemini girly dies
Gemini girly cries
Gemini girly lies
Her lily-white dress shines
Deep deep down inside
Deep deep down inside
The river and my mind
The river and my mind...
 
This song makes me think about my first therapist that I actually made a connection with. She was the first person to help me understand my PTSD, and then she got a different job and left and I was rather sad. It really felt like I was being left alone all over again. I listened to this song as I drove home crying from my last appointment with her.

Gorillaz
On Melancholy Hill

Up on Melancholy Hill
there's a plastic tree
are you here with me?
just looking out on the day of another dream

well, you can't get what you want, but you can get me
so let's set up and see
'cause you are my medicine
when you're close to me, when you're close to me
 
Here is a song I made my wife's ringtone when she calls me. For us it is about helping each other with our problems.

The White Stripes
Apple Blossom

hey little Apple Blossom
what seems to be the problem?
all the ones you tell your troubles to
they don't really care for you

come and tell me what you're thinking
cause just when the boat is sinking
a little light is binking
and I will come and rescue you

lots of girls walk around in tears
but that's not for you
you've been looking all around for years
for someone to tell your troubles to
 
Most of my co-workers are female, diagnosed with some mental illness (one with PTSD), and in love with Jack White.

Here is a tribute to my ex-boyfriend, who was smart enough to know that he had to leave me if I was going to get better.

Also, a song of scared abandonment for those we love.

White Stripes
Martyr for My Love

I'm beginning to like you
So you probably won't get what I'm going to do
I'm walking away from you
It probably don't make sense to you
But I'm trying to save you
From all of the things that I'll probably do...

You'll probably call me a fool
And tell me I'm doing exactly what a coward would do
And I'm beginning to like you
What a shame what a lame way to live
But what can I do?
I hope you appreciate what I do

I'm a martyr for my love for you
 
If I quoted every single Nine Inch Nails lyric that fits my life, I'd be selling it in three-book saga form. I've actually had to stop listening to them for a while because Mr Reznor's voice and words are just too intense for me at the moment.

However, here are just a few:

Nine Inch Nails
Head Like A Hole
Head like a hole.
Black as your soul.
I'd rather die than give you control.

The Day The World Went Away
I'd listen to the words he'd say
but in his voice I heard decay
the plastic face forced to portray
all the insides left cold and gray
there is a place that still remains
it eats the fear it eats the pain
the sweetest price he'll have to pay
the day the whole world went away

Even Deeper
do you know how far this has gone?
just how damaged have I become?
when I think I can overcome
it runs even deeper
everything that matters is gone
all the hands of hope have withdrawn
could you try to help me hang on?
it runs...
 
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