Soul Sickness?

[Deleted member 28740]

Beautiful poem @KwanYingirl .

For me, it is a tenuous connection / disconnection with myself. Not being comfortable in my own skin. Integration I do feel in nature, close, almost whole. A life's journey and task.

@shimmerz How did you find your shaman friend?

 

[corvidae]

i don't know if i have a soul. what i do have is a very powerful connection to the land where i live...my ancestral base, i suppose. take me away from the land and i don't know how to cope as effectively with anything or even cope at all. so maybe the land is my soul? hmm.

 

[shimmerz]

All I can say @KwanYingirl , is keep an open mind..... the possibilities will be endless. I was taught that shamans go into altered states of reality just like I do (or others that experience this), but the difference was they knew how to 'get back' at will. I did not. So I learned how. I am not a shaman, but man oh man, the things I have seen while journeying and the healing I have experienced in learning how to 'come back' at will (mostly).

Journeying also REALLY helped me to learn my visualization skills, which have saved my sorry ass on many an occasion.

The only bad thing about shamanism is when you tell your friends that you have a shaman, what you are learning from your shaman, and then your friends, who never thought you were crazy before (even though you yourself did) NOW think that you are nuts because they think shamans and their way of healing is nuts.

Seriously, people are so closed. Personally, I think it was understanding how my soul was affected by PTSD that truly cracked my healing open. This woman does some blogging about mental illness and incorporates some really good articles on shamanism, with this one being specific to soul retrieval. I hope it helps....

https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/soul-retrieval/

And one on mental illness and shamanism. DID specifically. I am not DID but liked this entry.
https://wherespiritstops.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/mental-illness-and-shamanism/

@Changeling , if I believed in God, I would say that my meeting my shaman was an act of God. I will PM you with the details. I hope you are well my friend.
:hug::hug:

 

[KwanYingirl]

Thanks for the links @shimmerz

 

[Seasounds]

im curious to know what y'all feel about the effect PTSD has on your soul?

Deep question. First, I'm as perplexed about this lifetime as many others may be. My thoughts are going to sound a lot more serious than I am. I've had a few unusual experiences, from studying with intuitives, shamans, healers, and the like. The experiences gave me a sense between my spirit and my soul.

During my work with an intuitive healer, I dropped into the 'white light' of which we have all heard so much about, in near death experiences, etc. It was purposeful for me to have this experience, of what I felt like was 'the level of reality that lies beneath all the other layers of life': pure energy. On the other hand, my soul holds the pain that I have experienced in present and past lifetimes, and even in this moment. From all of this, I would say that the pain defines my soul, and that, in this lifetime, is mostly from the experiences that have resulted in PTSD.

Now, to answer your question, "the effect of PTSD has on your soul?" I don't mean to mean to make it sound rosy, by any means, but it does give me an identity, a perspective. Without a perspective, I wouldn't have an ego, which means that I wouldn't have a 'me'. From my soul's pain, I have a depth and a compassion, that I bring to my world; so in that way, I bring a healing to the planet-I'd say we all do. PTSD does increase the pain in my soul. It gives me needs and things to heal-which can be a great challenges. And to be frank, to take away all of the woo woo talk, we know that PTSD is a bear.

Even though I am not Christian, it seems like a cross to bear; I do my best to not be defined by it-to know that I am more than PTSD. This is where spirit comes into play. Beneath all the fray, and at the center of the layers, is peace. Let spirit/peace define me, while I juggle PTSD-is my ideal. Consistently accessing peace, is another matter. I think it helps regulate my soul's pain. Regular meditation, or time in nature, is a way that I take my soul's pain, into spirit's calm waters. It would do me well, to go there, now.

 

[Chava]

Yes, I actually relate to having some sort of soul...it split off, separated from my body early on. It's connected to "infinity" or something out there, I sense that, but it is not connected to others really. It's actually not one of my f*cked up ways of disconnecting though. It's my deeper connection that precedes even my pre-birth trauma. It was squashed by traumas, but always there if I could settle the self hatred. It's outside my trauma. It is connected, and yet it is not connected to other humans...or human-like gods (person-like images)...not sure if that's related to my trauma, probably, but that likely won't change and that's okay. It's a oneness that connects me more to energy, sound, nature, the universe beyond the human bullshit. And yet I'm trying to appreciate how good people in my life are part of this too. it's confusing.

 

[sun seeker]

I am very tired at the end of a long day and haven't gotten through all the replies, but will post a short reply while I'm thinking of it.

I've done soul retrievals with two different people. The first was not very experienced. She got back three pieces of my soul, but I didn't have the sense that they stuck around very long. In traditional cultures when a shaman does a soul retrieval, it is a community event. There have to be people there waiting to welcome back the whole person. Sandra Ingerman quotes some of the ceremonies in her book, something about coming back to the communal fire where your loved ones are waiting for you. You have to be willing and able to make life changes that will encourage the returned parts to want to stay.

Since then, I've done more bits and pieces of soul retrievals with a different healer, as part of a broader variety of healing work. We don't set out and say "today we are doing a soul retrieval," they just show up and volunteer to come back as we are doing other work. My sense is that as you work through your trauma and make changes in your current life, if you are simultaneously working on soul retrieval, it will be more of a permanent thing.

My experience is that there is a sudden shift in energy and consciousness when a new part returns, and sometimes a sense of elation... but then you still have to do the ground work to make room for that part in your life, so to speak. The sudden quantum leaps are exhilarating but there is still some leg work in between. Hope this makes sense, I'm starting to fall asleep here!

 

[Ronin]

Trauma made me realize I'm stronger than whatever bullshit people throw at me&mine.

(Does that count for 'aware of something that might vaguely pass for 'soul'?)

What PTSD does with that realization though is a different cup of tea. Most often invalidates those realizations. Not trusting strength & not trusting basics as compassion in other people is sure fun.

 

[Fadeaway]

I struggle with the idea of a soul in the traditional sense that it moves on when you die, but I sure feel pain in a place that isn't physical. Soul pain is the best word I can come up with.

 

[Lionheart]

I once believed that my soul had died because of abuse, but many years later, (decades), I reconnected to it and found that it was only buried and not gone after all. I do feel a connection and oneness with the beauty of all nature....communing with nature and silent stillness are the ways that I relate spiritually to The Creator and that, I think, is a direct consequence of much soul-searching.

I wanted to add that my core self was so well-hidden deep inside that it felt like "soul-loss" but was in reality the way my brain was created to protect me from trauma...I like to think that was the Creator's handiwork which restored my faith and helped me re-connect to my soul.

 

[ladee]

@Lionheart777, that is how I feel. That is just got buried. It was still there, and in many ways helping me to move forward, like @Cashew said, things thrown at me, and some how some way I came out on the other side..Just because it was buried beneath the pain, did not mean it didn't exist. And I guess we need to believe in something. I know for me, I had to believe there was something worth saving, something worth fighting for...or what would have been the point to all of this...I recently read 'we are just walking each other home'. What ever 'home' means to the individual I guess... I just know for me, that I am so grateful for the people who have gone before me, to show me the way out. If this many damaged people can make such a huge difference in people's lives... maybe that is our purpose, to find our soul.

 

[Panda Bear]

This is a really interesting question.

I think my soul was lost for years, when I struggled with deep levels of dissacosiation and pain.

The more I learn to become present and aware, think, feel and be connected to other people? My soul is definitely there, and now I can feel it again.