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Soul Sickness?

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Wow, just wow. Everyone is so poignant . I believe it requires faith to feel well spiritually. I wonder how can there be a benevolent God or other Higher Power and have so much abuse happen. I don't have faith that I can get past this and rightfully regain my soul.
 
@ladee thank you.

When my heart began to beat again, my soul was able to come back to life.

No longer was I required to keep my heart in such a strong protective shell The soul needs a heart....together they can give us great things.

@KwanYingirl God doesn't allow these things go to happen. Man does, we are the ones who allow pain to continue. He created man, as sinners and with free will so that we can learn to find dependence, care and peace in His strength.

It's what I believe and understand. But I know it's the the same for everyone.
 
You will get thru it @KwanYingirl !!!! You will. One thing at a time, one day at a time, one minute at a time... And I understand what you are saying about the confusion of why so much abuse goes on. It has been my experience, that people have 'free will'.... so they do as they please. Sometimes they do good things in the world and then some do horrible things..and unfortunately we have been the target of 'bad' people. But the other side of that coin, is there ARE good people also... that is why you are here... so many many good people here, with soul injuries, and some how , some way, putting one foot in front of the other.... So maybe if faith is a hard thing for you, maybe a little 'trust', if nothing else trust in your T, trust in your journey, trust that many of us here have made it thru... and we are here for you... I get the 'trust' thing too.... So if neither of those work for you, come up with one of your own....
Or borrow some of my faith, because I have faith you WILL make it thru. You will !!
 
Thank you for your encouraging words. I do trust special people in my life, none who are related to me. All my healers and all you that take time to comfort each other. That's one hell of a collective soul, wouldn't you agree? Yes I need to keep an open mind. Tonight I will be with my Shaman and looking forward to it. Usually we meet as a group and journey but tonight she will accompany me. When I first met my Reiki master she kept getting the image of a swan. As I started journeying and searching for my spirit animals, I was taken to a lake with a swan floating on it. I walked through the water to ask her what she knows to help me and she said to find faith and then return. Faith, soul, essence, solar plexus: all this energy that can be harnessed for health.
 
Dear @ladee your post #23 is so beautiful. :notworthy: Funny,
I recently read 'we are just walking each other home'. What ever 'home' means to the individual I guess.
I once heard many years ago (I can't remember more than once?) "Come home".

I definitely believe in a 'soul' in the very conventional sense. (It reminds me even flight manifests say 'souls on board'.)

This is no BS, I work with the dying & have been with hundreds, but with 2 in my own family I could 'see' something leave, no joke. And one went right away, but the other it was much later (2 hours) & after a particular blessing. If that is not weirder, there were 5 of us there, & 4 of us talked together after and we all 'saw' the same thing, I'm not kidding. So yes, I definitely first-hand believe in the presence of a soul.

It was still there, and in many ways helping me to move forward, like @Cashew said, things thrown at me,..Just because it was buried beneath the pain, did not mean it didn't exist. And I guess we need to believe in something. I know for me, I had to believe there was something worth saving, something worth fighting for...or what would have been the point to all of this.. I am so grateful for the people who have gone before me, to show me the way out, ..maybe that is our purpose,

Yes++ .^^
 
Also kind of feel like their was childhood NDE rearranging my experience because I felt disconnected or detached from my family (or, I should say, more disconnected). Like I died and was now watching from another plane, connected to something else. Okay, I know that just sounds like dissociation maybe, but that doesn't totally explain it. I'm NOT saying trauma does anything useful, but I think my early traumas, while they disconnected me further from humans, connected me somewhere else...maybe if only to not have a total soul death. It's helpful that, in my mind, I don't even have to understand what that thing is I'm connected to...I just have to work to not shut that connection down (and that's very challenging).
 
Yes @Chava not sure if it's similar but have had others often remark it's like I have one foot 'here' & one foot 'there'. Latest was a client at work.

ETA as per this soul business, the funniest part from above was all 4 of us wondering who was going to start the conversation about, "This sounds crazy but I swore I saw.. "
 
I believe it requires faith to feel well spiritually.
I don't know. Is it faith, or is it just knowing from experience? This is a slightly different question, but if people ask how I know there is a God, I scratch my head in confusion because to me it's like asking how I know the sky is blue.

I don't have faith, as I understand the word. I have spiritual connection, though. It comes from direct experience. Being around psychic people who will validate your spiritual experiences helps a lot... someone to say "Yup, that's not your imagination, that's real. And what's more, what I see is such and such." The ball gets rolling and each person is adding something to the experience. If you can get several likeminded people together, so much the better. The healing power grows exponentially with each added person's energy. I wish for you that you may find that group of people in your life.

Also kind of feel like their was childhood NDE rearranging my experience because I felt disconnected or detached from my family (or, I should say, more disconnected). Like I died and was now watching from another plane, connected to something else.
I had a childhood NDE from extreme trauma. Pretty sure this is a big part of why I know there is a soul, and I know there is life after death. I've been there. The soul feels more real to me than the physical.

I don't have faith that I can get past this and rightfully regain my soul.
You will. I'll believe that for you. Because I've seen it happen in the most desperate of circumstances, I know it can happen for you.
 
I wish I could figure out how to highlight and copy people's comments that really resonate, but I'm not tech savvy. I know my Shaman is. She sends me pictures that she finds all over the Internet and texts them to me. One particularly fascinating rendering of a wolf is going to be tattooed on me next week. I'd love to share it with you all.

Anyway, I struggled with the Higher Power and faith issue when I got sober in AA. The best I could do was use the group as my Higher Power and someone said during a meeting that faith is knowing when you fall or jump off a cliff, you will sprout wings or land on a soft bed. That worked for me.

I'd like to believe that I have a soul that I split off as I did my parts as a child, for protection from unbearable pain. It's over, that isn't happening anymore, I am an adult that can think deep thoughts if I would take the leap and go there.

Last night my Shaman said exactly the same thing to me as my therapist had told me . That I am ready for this part of my journey or I wouldn't be asking so many questions about it. That when one channel is cleared, it makes room for a closer look. Emotions won't kill me, right?
 
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