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Soul Sickness?

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Please take time to watch the video that Ms Spock posted here for me, because I didn't know how to do it. It is amazing and after watching it twice, my take away is patience and practice and intention

"Are you a God?" They asked
"No"
"An angel?"
"No"
"A saint?"
"No"
"Then what are you?"
Buddha answered, "I am awake".
 
Anyway, I struggled with the Higher Power and faith issue when I got sober in AA. The best I could do was use the group as my Higher Power and someone said during a meeting that faith is knowing when you fall or jump off a cliff, you will sprout wings or land on a soft bed. That worked for me.

I like that! I also used the AA group as a sort of "higher power" or something outside myself I could trust to help me. Nothing wrong with that...worked well for a long time. I also think the idea of "soul" and a "higher power" are not necessarily the same, though I understand they are somewhat related.
 
I consider my soul to be me, the true, untouchable me. Stuff happens to my body. Stuff even happens to my brain, which therefore means it happens to my mind. Stuff affects me emotionally, and my emotions are physiological reactions. And circling around me are all of the memories, all of the knowledge and experiences, all of the perceptions of all that I take in through my five senses, everything put within the context of my experiences as a human being on this planet, in my culture, in my family and so on.

But at the core, there is me, what exists should all of these things be removed. And this is why I can understand why some people do not believe in souls. I did not, either, until everything that I thought was me, had at some point turned against me, which begged the question of what I was, if I was not these things that I was opposing.

So since this how I experience and perceive things, my soul can never be sick.
 
Yes, take away words like incest, r*pe etc, take them all away. What happened was my soul was stolen from me, soul theft, Cosmic injustice, divine destruction. I hope you can heal and find it (((((((KwanYinGirl))))))
 
Do you think I can be authentically empathetic and compassionate if I can't feel that I have a soul, a divine essence, a self love? I enact self hate while simultaneously practicing self compassion exercises. Yes, remove the rape, the incest, the torture and there's space for something awesome. There is something to be said about memory suppression that in a way allowed me to embrace a wonderful mother instinct and the two children that saved my life because what I could do for them was more than I could give to myself. Even though they are grown now, I still have that unique love in my heart that is as close to a soul that I can claim to actually FEEL. It energizes me, it inspires me, it sustains me, it is selfless. None of my other identities manifest any of that for me. Except that I am a bleeding heart liberal and am happy to pay taxes that provide help to those in desperate need.
 
Next week is the beginning of my soul retrieval journey with my Shaman. She has been infusing me with my spirit animals and encouraging me to seek their guidance. Her belief in soul loss is that it was to protect me from unbearable pain. Now it is time to call it back home. I hope she's right...
 
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