Spending Time In Hospital

[ButterflyPEI]

I have been in hospital for 3 weeks now. Went in due to severe depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation. I have had 6 ECT treatments and will be having another 4-6. They are taking so much out of me but if they will help, I need to do it.

I have been hooked up with a psychologist while I'm in there to try and get some basic feelings of safety back. It's going to be hard work in this state but I'm going to try.

I just wish I could feel some hope. I wish I had just depression, or just anxiety or just PTSD. I wish I didn't have to deal with all this bullshit at the same time.

I am very lucky to have this forum and am very lucky to have the T and psychiatrist that I have. I just feel so lost and have no fight left in me. This road is so long and so hard.

 

[maddog]

Thinking of you Butterflypei, and wishing you strength, and safety, and connection, all of which will be among your best weapons to making it through this difficult time. Having recently spent time in hospital myself, I know that sometimes it is hard to hold onto the hope and the belief that life can get better when you feel as though you've hit rock bottom.

But with good support, which it sounds like you have, and a lot of courage and determination to do better, which you undoubtedly do, there is a way forward.

And don't underestimate the support that can be found here on the forum, I found it to be an amazing source of comfort and connection at a time when so many of my connections to the outside world felt so far away.

Take good care of yourself and remember to rest as much as you can too.

Maddog

 

[Red Feather]

I was also in the hospital a month ago. It was a real important step for me to make. Afterwards however, I found myself wanting to go back just to escape from the reality of having PTSD. I also had a lot of suicide ideation. Sometimes I still do.

It really is a long and hard road. I am also trying to find my sense of hope. It keeps on getting shattered.

I think this forum really is a source of light and hope for me.

I also hope you can find the support you are looking for where ever that may be.

 

[mamachick]

Thinking of you and sending hope your way. I know this is a hard time but just take it hour by hour.

Im glad to hear you are safe and are getting the help you need today.