Sufferer Spiraling down by the hour..

[ParalyzedMind]

Hi.

I have been working on staying strong after something that happened about six months ago. Initially, I was just stunned, got help with a great psychiatrist, which I am still seeing. I am doing a lot of EMDR and therapy and work very hard to shelter and protect my mind. However, it seems to be just getting worse and worse over the last few weeks and I feel crippled.

I am not even able to speak with my family any more; don't answer phone calls; go to any social gatherings and am losing weight. My wife is upset at me and I cannot even be close to my kids due to their voices and sudden moves. Worse is the troubling thoughts that have started coming. I feel totally paralyzed, have never felt like this in my life and cannot do anything without things stirring in my head.

I am also starting to realize I cannot continue doing my job, which is demanding and "high powered" with demands 24/7. Very afraid for the future and what will happen to me. At the moment, I just try to sleep as much as I can, by myself in a closed room.

I cannot imagine it will get much worse in my head now, before it explodes. This is the absolute most horrid feeling I have had in my life and nothing even comes close.

Sorry for all the negative wibes, but I am just devastated and not sure how much more I can take. The smallest noice can startle me and even hearing someone say my name is becoming crippling.

Bless you all.

 

[Muted]

I can relate. If you're doing EMDR and therapy and getting to the the root of your trauma, it's nearly impossible to work a demanding job like that, especially if the environment there is stressful. Working on trauma is exhausting and symptoms often get worse before they get better. It sucks. There are a lot of ups and downs while working through stuff and every time stuff gets stirred up it feels like the trauma happening all over again.

 

[ParalyzedMind]

I can relate. If you're doing EMDR and therapy and getting to the the root of your trauma, it's nearly im...

Thank You

This is the scary part. I can sit and watch sports or something to get my mind at something else and it only takes a little thing, my wife asking if I fed the cats (!!) or my kids being to loud and I am destroyed again.

I go to my psychiatrist and feel better afterwards, but am dreading for things to come back in my head.

I am too afraid to even talk about the trauma nowadays and that makes it impossible to move on.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forums!

The PTSD Cup Explanation <<< The most immediately useful, & common sense breakdown tool I've ever come across. Damn good stuff, for true.

Shit does get better. While things can always get worse? No matter how painful, shattering, & debilitating is is right now, it can not only get better, but can get down to asymptomatic. Really. It's hard. It sucks. It's doable.

 

[Muted]

I am too afraid to even talk about the trauma nowadays and that makes it impossible to move on.

Talking about it will help you process it and it will help others understand what you're going through, PTSD can feel extremely isolating. Being free to talk about it as soon as you are ready will hopefully help you find closure.