Take heart. Worldviews and beliefs can steamroll you, but you do have recourse.
A rara avis of sorts, I consider myself a secular Christian. Like the Gandhi quote earlier in the thread, I am attracted to many of the teachings of Jesus, but not to Christianity as practiced. I am a self-cured former fundamentalist (now some decades past), yet my parting with Christianity was not ugly, and left my appreciation for its revolutionary teachings intact. There is already a quote earlier in the thread of the summary Jesus provided in two commandments, in which I continue to find a source of inspiration. I am, however, an atheist. I'd be happy to explain more about the apparent contradictions, but that would be lengthy and off-topic.
My hope is to address some of the issues in this thread that Christians, believers in other faiths, and atheists will not find strident or offensive, nor will I depend on false claims or unshareable beliefs. I claim no special knowledge, nor have access to any.
The pressure described in the opening post is common not only across religions, but to many social and political worldviews that claim exclusive truth.
There is a weakness in each of us that many wish to exploit for their own gains. Once you take stock of it, you own the keys to a good part of your own psychological well-being, even if surrounded by rejection. There is no mystery to this, and you will recognize my point immediately. So, this is not new or earth-shaking, just something we often overlook, since it is always there.
People are very uncomfortable with uncertainty. I think most people want to make sense of the world, be it out of natural curiosity, wonder, and/or the need to fit into a bigger picture, and when faced with our own ignorance ~ anywhere from being made to feel foolish in conversation, to feeling angst about the great questions in life ~ we seek refuge from the great unease that results. Too, we do not wish to suffer the mocking and bullying that goes on around us when we do not conform to local practice.
For frankly most of us, any world view will do, as long as it fulfills that need. Yes, I am suggesting that much of core beliefs are a function of where you were born, your family religion, and the norms of the society around you. I am not claiming them to be wrong, however, nor do I wish to convert you to another viewpoint.
What I am suggesting is that you seriously undertake "rolling your own" understanding in a deliberate fashion. By that I mean critically examining all around you, as if starting from scratch, and rebuilding. However, this is an enormously difficult task, as those coached in the various belief systems are backed by years, decades, or even centuries of providing easy and glib rebuttals to any objections raised. Speak out prematurely, and you may find yourself more embarrassed and put-upon than ever.
(And should you decide to reaffirm your faith, more power to you. It is more than likely than not that you will be better for it, having separated the wheat from the chaff.)
Consider for a moment the great advantages of taking on a worldview on the basis of authority and custom alone. Not only is one greatly and instantly relieved of doubt, but its a short-cut to group defense, pat answers, and personal acceptance. An end to bullying. Better yet that the leaders seem to know what to say to others, and provide something to repeat when pressed. All is good, certainty reigns, and an unfortunate mindset of smug superiority arises from having all the answers to everything.
Even Jesus doubted in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is not an evil thing, but a function of our human limitations.
On the other hand, developing your own view is to expose yourself to ridicule, sometimes extreme. Not having pat
answers and admitting to uncertainty can seem weak, even perhaps for some, loathsome (via demonization of all aspects concerning group outsiders). It is a lot harder to do. And you even have to fess up all the time about how you were wrong yesterday, and right today (at least, that is how any honest work-in-progress inquiry is perceived).
My own journey began by investigating those behaviors I could not seem to change, even for my deity. In my case, science provided the guidance needed to understand and accept myself. More, it has allowed me a renewed perspective on sin, seeing now as I do just how much people are acting out from an inner wound or anguish, or deep feelings nearly out of their control. I am more forgiving today than before, strangely enough.
Because I declared my choice, let it not dissuade you from your own. There is conceptual room for a deity in my worldview, simply not proof. I remain on guard for the arrival of any new data, but am also at peace with the choices made. What has changed most, after many years of research, is my awareness of what drives us, the remaining uncertainties that are part of our condition, and my ability to fend off attacks from any quarter.
If for any reason I have managed to express myself in a way of interest to you, by PM or in-thread discussion I would be happy to share anything regarding the above on request. Due to a quite variable health condition, response time can range from minutes to days, unfortunately.
-Aristides
[Pardon such a long post for one unknown to you and new to your community.]
