Stabbed my abuser in my dream

[AliciaEff]

I generally have nightmares, but last night I had a bad dream. By “generally” I don’t mean more often than not, but I mean that I tend to have a lot of nightmares, you know, waking up in a panic, feeling like it was reality, all that fun stuff. I have nightmares that I am being chased by my abuser, that he’s trying to be my friend, that I have to pretend to like him because I don’t want to make a scene.

Last night wasn’t a nightmare. In some way I knew I was dreaming. It felt a bit fake. I also didn’t wake up in fear. Last night I stabbed him with a knife and people were happy. They knew he was terrible and they wanted him hurt. This was the first time in 12 years (since the abuse happened) that I was able to hurt him in my sleep. It felt great.

The other day in a nightmare I even shouted out that he raped me, except I called him Moe Sislack (the creepy character from The Simpons tv show). It was still progress that I shouted it out to dozens of people.

I hate seeing him in my dreams/ nightmares, but I was happy when I woke up that I was able to stab him.

 

[PiggyBack]

Good for you. I've had those turning points as well. That is, when I'm able to start to mentally resist the abuser in my dreams.

 

[Fadeaway]

Lucid dreaming. Great way to take your power back.

 

[Flip flop]

I generally have nightmares, but last night I had a bad dream. By “generally” I don’t mean more...

Killin* a perp in the dream state sounds awesome!!!! No negative consequences IRL, and possibly the sweet, sweet satisfaction of REVENGE.
Love it.
Thanks for sharing that dream! Now, if only I could stab or shoot my abusers in my dreams.....but the knife or sword always turns to rubber or the gun becomes a water pistol whilst perps are advancing towards me.

 

[AliciaEff]

Killin* a perp in the dream state sounds awesome!!!! No negative consequences IRL, and possibly the...

I know how you feel! Generally I would try to hurt him and my arms would feel heavy and move in slow motion so by the time I was able to hit him, it was a useless tap. Or I would try to scream, but I had no voice. I’m happy that I got to feel myself stabbing him with a knife and I’ve actually been nightmare-free since! Normally I’d have at least two a week, more since starting EMDR again, but the last few weeks? Nothing major. I’m hoping that was the end

 

[Swift]

I had a dream that I ran into my abuser's mum, who knew about the abuse (CSA), and I threw up on her, and she tried to take me to court for "biological warfare."
Probably the favourite dream I've ever had.
Felt amazing.
Good for you!