Starting Emdr On Most Recent Trauma In A Few Weeks...

[FindingMyself88]

So the time to start EMDR is upon me.. Originally my T wanted to wait several more months to start EMDR, but in light of me sharing about being raped back in November, she feels it is best to start it sooner than later. She is afraid that the trauma of being raped has already turned into PTSD, but she feels that it would be best to start processing it as soon as possible because I am having strong symptoms from it. I have severe nightmares and flashbacks where I wake up thrashing around, throwing everything off of me, even my comforter or dogs. Bristol literally has to fight me to get to my face where she can lick me and paw my arms to bring me back.

My T also said she normally starts with the "lower" traumas, but she feels we need to go straight to this trauma if I am okay with it. She feels that I have a strong toolbox of coping skills and she also will want to up our sessions to twice a week to ensure that I stay safe. She told me it would be intense at first with each memory or "target" but to remember that I would always be safe in her office. She has done EMDR with rape victims before, which makes me feel a bit better.

Most of all, I just want to know what to expect and am worried about being able to handle it. I do feel better knowing I will see her twice a week instead of just once. I dissociate a lot, so I am worried about that. That is why she originally wanted to wait, but my symptoms are just getting worse so she thinks the benefits would outweigh the negative effects.

If anyone has any experience with this, I would appreciate hearing your stories. Have you ever done EMDR within 7 months of their most recent trauma? Has anyone ever done EMDR on being raped, if so how in detail did you go? She said we would only go as far as my brain took me, we wouldn't push.

Thank you in advance for sharing...

 

[Recovery4Me]

Have you ever done EMDR within 7 months of their most recent trauma? Has anyone ever done EMDR on being raped, if so how in detail did you go?

Yes & yes...:hug:give yourself a place to have down time, (perhaps if you have a car- park before hand in a nice shady spot): allow time in between daily duties and your visit/session. Bring an small item that comforts you... a pillow, a soft cuddly something to help you ground. I brought my cross in my pocket.

What will surface is what is the most pressing at the top to begin with and needed for release. Think of the new style pressure cookers (with safety valves) and the rolling steam escaping (your pressure points). The rattling of the pot (ideas jumbling about) and the raw things getting processed in a healthy vacuum. CBT is a good follow up normally to assist with any flood of emotions and have an agreement to be able to text your therapist between her sessions or in her offer of time...if you feel frightened.

It is important work and I find you one brave person. You will not feel the victim in time with your dedication. It works if you work it!

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you @Recovery4Me for the advice! My T does have me park where I can take a few minutes after sessions to do some breathing exercises (and we end with some as well, or visual exercises). I always bring my grounding rock with me and hug one of her couch pillows :).

Normally she said she targets the least pressing first, but due to the recentness of this trauma and the symptoms increase, she wants to do the newest and most pressing trauma first. I'm not sure much about the follow ups. I know we will do EMDR on Tuesdays and then the follow up session on Thursdays.

Thank you for the encouragement!

 

[Recovery4Me]

Wonderful to hear that your T has a sincere heart with wisdom + skill to offer in your healing!
There is a lot to be said for your relationship with yourself and your T. Trust is a blessing.
:tup:
Keep us posted.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Well I met with my T again today.. we should be starting the EMDR in 2 weeks. Today we decided how we were going to do the EMDR, we talked about how my head injury could play in. She is going to contact my neurologist about it as well as her supervisor on anything to watch out for or anything that will help. We decided against the normal hand movement following and went for holding the little vibrating "rocks" to do the bilateral stimulation. My eyes still hurt on a lot of days from the pressure that I had on my brain from the head injury, so this is why we decided against the hand movements and following with my eyes.

Today we tested the bilateral stimulation to find out where I was comfortable. She said due to my head injury, we probably would keep it at that pace. We also did a "practice" run, except we focused on one of my safe places instead of a trauma. Next week we will develop my treatment plan and targets, then the next week we will hopefully start with the EMDR. She set me up for twice a week, and on the days we do EMDR, she has me scheduled as her last client so that if need be, she can keep me over until I feel okay to leave. She also said that when we start, she will alert the front desk that if I am to call, they are to alert her BEFORE her next session so that if something comes up and I need to talk to her, she will be able to get back with me quickly.

Overall I trust my T very much so and I can see that she is taking all precautions with me. I am nervous because a lot of people say it gets worse at first. But honestly, it can't get much worse than it is and has been. If it is the means to me getting better, then I am willing to try!

 

[Recovery4Me]

It is beautiful to see the careful planning and training to equip the two of you for mutual success. Such teamwork! Your T. is a dreamboat and you seem so positive right now.:)

I am however, sorry to hear that your head injury also causes you pain.:hug: Thank you for sharing the nurturing aspects that can accompany EMDR. I gained much from this style of therapy, but it was new back then. My T in comparison was brutal.:blackeye:lol

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you, she is amazing for sure! I couldn't believe I found her, and she is with a non profit organization so I only pay $10 a visit. Even with that, she is trying to get it where I will only pay $10 a week even when I come twice. I wouldn't be able to be this positive without her and Bristol, my Service Dog in Training!

It is ok :hug:. The 23rd of this month will be a year. I am MUCH better than I was. The only residual issues I have is my eyes hurting, more painful than typical headaches, and occasional bouts of dizziness. I developed what is called Pseudo-tumor cerebri, which is basically spinal fluid building up in the brain. I had to be hospitalized, had a nerve block in my neck, and 3 spinal taps to relieve the pressure. I was on Morphine and dilaudid for the pain, that is how severe it was. The head injury is what worsened my PTSD symptoms. I had anxiety and depression before, but afterwards is when I started having nightmares, flashbacks, and all the other stuff.

I am so sorry you had a brutal T. A good T can make a real difference!

 

[Marymickaela]

I too am starting EMDR this week. I also found a wonderful trauma therapist after spending years in traditional therapy. I'm glad you know what you're starting with and it really seems like the right choice. I'm having trouble deciding on what Target to use, but it nice hearing that your Tdoc said to start with something simple. I've been my Tdoc for 2 months so she's gotten to know me and we have a long list of Targets. I feel I need to come up with a few more calming techniques. I have one major one, but need more to stay grounded as I tend to dissociate. I wish you much success and relief in treatment.

 

[JustBreeth]

I too have ComplexPTSD. Multiple traumas beginning at age 4 up till 13. I am 50yo and have been in therapy for 2yrs. I have repeatedly asked my therapist about EMDR and she was reluctant for sometime due to my trust issues. We are finally at a place where trust has been established and safety is felt. We started resourcing ( safe place, resources, tool chest etc...) and she says it will be a couple months to complete this part before getting to the reprocessing. I didn't expect it to take that long. Has that been the experience for others with multiple traumas over long periods?