Staying inside to avoid triggers in public

[8888]

I’m triggered by a certain type of jewelry and when I’m in public I never know when I will see someone wearing it. So I often avoid leaving the house. How do I get past this? My therapist is refusing to do exposure therapy because she says I’m not stable enough. I agree I’m not stable, but I don’t know how to cope with going out in the meantime.

 

[Rose White]

Couple of ideas. One is telling yourself out loud something along the lines of “this is not that”. Your brain is being too effective at categorizing things and you need to tell yourself they are not the same. And I am guessing that the jewelry reminds you of a person or event so also telling yourself, “That’s not them,” or “I’m here now.”

The other idea is to, with a friend ideally, look at pictures of similar jewelry or draw something similar. You can destroy the pictures in a fire as a kind of cutting ties ritual.

If your T says you are not stable enough, do you trust them? Maybe they are right and it’s okay to wait to do this work?

 

[Midnightmoon]

Exposure therapy is dangerous if you are not in a stable enough place, it can re traumatise... If T is saying no I'd be very cautious. I unfortunately fell face first trying to do my own version of exposure therapy and I became a complete mess, but I really understand that pull to just almost 'get on with it' ASAP.

Obviously not leaving the house ever isn't the most practical or healthy of options...

Will T work heavily on grounding with you to support feelings safe and present in prep for triggers? Using sensory stuff helps me, earphones, holding something in my hand, chewing gum. Anything to keep me here and now not there and then. I actively avoid going somewhere that is virtually guaranteed to trigger, but my main issue is a colour so I know logically it'll come up in whatever environment I'm in! Even at home it can easily pop up on TV or a magazine or whatever.

Do you have anyone to be able to go out with you and offer support/ grounding/ redirection practically?

 

[Friday]

How do I get past this?

IME? Exposure therapy.

My therapist is refusing to do exposure therapy because she says I’m not stable enough. I agree I’m not stable, but I don’t know how to cope with going out in the meantime.

That’s extremely valid.

How to deal with it until you are stable enough to spend 1/5th of a second flicking your thoughts at that jewellery (for the first few days/weeks/months, then actually thinking about it for a second or three, then buying some to keep in a drawer to actually look at, and then hold, and then wear/set on fire/whatever, order some more to destroy, order some more to occasionally look at, then occasionly touch, then etc. etc. etc.)?

Work arounds.

If you don’t want to leave your house because someone might be wearing storm trooper armor (see what I did there? Pick something wildly different than what triggers you)… how can you still be SUPER functional? A, B, C, D, E, F…. Then? X, Y, Z, 1, 2, 3…. Then?

Work arounds are completely valid BAND-AIDS. Not “how to live life now”. Use the, whilst you’re working on other things.

 

[Movingforward10]

Exposure therapy is tough.

What usually works to ground you?

Would carrying around something to hold in your pocket help. I find touching something really helps me. I like to fidget and that calms me. Slight distraction and also making myself away of other sensations. And also using the brain to do something else other or as well as panciking. Just helps calm it down a bit.

 

[Warrior Sunflower]

Thanks for the post. It helps hearing this, I’m kind of in the same boat as you. Only I can’t leave my room due to my parents’ episodes. I keep avoiding a lot of things that even cause my mind to drift off to the episodes and a lot of my basic needs and things that make me happy if it causes me having to be around my parents during their episodes even if just for a few minutes. I wish I could go places myself and live on my own. I can’t drive due to my disabilities would cause me to crash. I’m an adult, I just can’t leave due to not having enough money and my disabilities. Some of these comments gave me a few ideas on how to try to handle this situation.

 

[8888]

Thanks for the post. It helps hearing this, I’m kind of in the same boat as you. Only I can’t leave my room due to my parents’ episodes. I keep avoiding a lot of things that even cause my mind to drift off to the episodes and a lot of my basic needs and things that make me happy if it causes me having to be around my parents during their episodes even if just for a few minutes. I wish I could go places myself and live on my own. I can’t drive due to my disabilities would cause me to crash. I’m an adult, I just can’t leave due to not having enough money and my disabilities. Some of these comments gave me a few ideas on how to try to handle this situation.

Sorry to hear this. This is an old topic so can I PM you about this?