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Stem Cell Transplant ( Sct )

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when the next steroid, chemo combo comes, I am going to have a big disclaimer printed and put on my hospital wall. "IGNORE everything that is said or done. I am under the influence of drugs!!!". I would prefer to tell everyone not to visit me and stay away for a few days, but that is not going to happen. So the sign will be up as a reminder that it is not "me"

I think that's a great idea. My friend Brenda is trying to difuse some of the anticipated difficulties by convincing herself that her chemo on Sunday is only a placebo (sugar pills). I thought that was a good idea to, but can't imagine the personal fortitude it takes to have that much will to attempt to do.

Have a happy Thanksgiving Deb and think this damn cancer thing is bringing out the warrior woman in you! :hug:
 
Well the WBC was .3 yesterday and today it is 0. It should start climbing soon, but there is no way I can go anywhere or do anything right now. What has them concerned is my platelet count as it was 35,000 yesterday and 27,000 today. If it continues to drop, I will have to go and get a transfusion. I do not really want to go into a hospital with absolutely no immunity and do a transfusion. The whole thought just freaks me out.

Wish I could write about happier things right now, but they are eluding me. So I will just keep waiting until things pick back up and this show moves on the road!
 
It is all about the numbers and the waiting game. WBC's .2, platelets 21,000 and now neutrophils 0. I knew everything was suppose to crash and the fevers off and on for the past 48 hours are normal too. Just as long as they don't go over 100.5. If they cross that threshold then it is contact the transplant coordinator and off to the hospital.

It is really stressful just knowing you don't have any immunity and having to watch everything so closely. I just keep telling myself this is short term and keep my mind focused on the long term goal. It is hard right now as I once thought I knew what some of those long term goals were.

Have a feeling I have been engaging in "magical thinking". Problem with magical thinking is that when reality hits you, then you get lost. Not good to be feeling lost and down in the middle of a medical procedure like this. When stress is suppose to be minimized, I have been hit with a max stressor.
 
Hugs and prayers for you Deb for inner strength and a killer sense of humor. I hope this will be as stress free as is humanly possible.

Lean into your support for the good stuff to give you a focal point. You are doing great even if you do not feel like this.

You knew it was going to be rough. And it kept its promise. I have no more words. I do not want to hurt you with insensitive words. I am here for you. My heart goes out to you so very much.

Lean hard into your support system to make it through this. It will have set backs, that is a given. But you are doing this for excellent reasons. You are very strong and may not feel very strong right now. You can do this. I believe in your amazing resiliant spirit that fights for you. hugs and prayers continually.
 
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