Strange Realization

[Chosen]

I just had the realization that I am actually proud of my PTSD. I don't like dealing with it, and it sucks, and it's hard to work with. But at the same time, I'm kinda glad I have it. I feel like it proves that I have suffered and that I wasn't making anything up. It's my battle scar...the way I can tell the world that "hey, yeah, I've been through hell, but I survived!"

It seems kinda weird because PTSD is such a pain in the butt....but I'm still kinda glad I have it. It validates that I have been through some rotten stuff.

Anyone else ever feel that?

 

[Go Hungry]

Yeah, I do. I mean, I'm not so proud of having it, but instead I'm very grateful for the diagnosis. I had been suffering the symptoms for decades, and thought I was the most miserable excuse for a human being on the face of the planet; a complete failure in almost every sense of the word. Then I found out that there are other people like me. Others who faced extreme adversity in life and got kinda f*cked up by it. It made me have a sense of accomplishment that I never had before. It's like you said:

"hey, yeah, I've been through hell, but I survived!"

So it was highly validating. :)

 

[arfie]

Yea, I have had a similar realization. I can't be proud of who I am without taking pride in where I have been.

Shoving it into a dank closet of judgmental despair sure didn't make it any easier to deal with. However I chose to respond, the facts of my life remain facts.

 

[RussH]

it is a really good answer to all those people who have told us to "just get over it."\

 

[WillyKat]

A few months back I came to the same place sort of. I didn't think that it was a pride thing, but I did finally embrace it as part of me and scooped it up as part of self-love. I agree that it's a scar that you have to wear so why not be proud in wearing it?

I'd call this good healing.

good thread btw

 

[anthony]

It validates that I have been through some rotten stuff.

I think if it works for you, then that is all that matters.

Myself, I don't honestly need the PTSD label to validate what I've been through. But that is me... and you are different again. There's certainly nothing wrong with your thought process for validation. If it works, use it, I say.