Relationship Struggling Today

[ds112496]

I woke up today feeling sad. I have tried to stay positive the past few days, but today I really miss him. He still has made no attempt to contact me or our daughter. However, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. I do not plan on responding to it because I just don't see the point. I almost feel like he is trying to rub the situation in my face.

I am pretty sure that he was never command referred to behavioral health like I was told. This makes me angry, but in the end would it have helped my situation? Probably not. I start counseling next week so I am hoping that it will help me deal with this better. I really do not want my marriage to end, but because he has all the control there is nothing I can do. I keep asking God for signs that everything will be ok. Last night my daughter found a gecko on my car. Since those are supposed to be good luck maybe things will begin to change.

 

[TheGreaterPurpose]

ds112496,

I'm sorry your r having such a tough time today. I know the feeling well. Blankets r more comfortable than life is sometimes.

I can't say I know exactly what u r going thru or what your circumstances are. But I think its good that you miss him. U seem like you care a lot about him. He's the father of your child and it is good you don't want your marriage to end. I think those realizations u have come to are the first steps in taking control. U may feel like he has all the control but there are things u can do. (Some of things u have already done like starting counseling)

If i can offer some advice: Ask him why he is just sending a FB request instead of some solid contact. Being a man...i know we do stupid things like send FB requests instead of just picking up the phone and calling. I think he wants to make contact but is just being stubborn.

Hopefully the gecko brings u fortune ;)

Bless u and your family

 

[ds112496]

I wish I could ask him why he sent me a friend request. He refuses to have any communication with me. He sees me online and doesn't try to talk to me. He hasn't emailed. Nothing. Even if I were to add him as a friend again, I deleted him right after he left, I don't think he would talk to me. He deleted all pictures of me from his page. His actions are speaking volumes!

I miss him terribly and wish I could turn back time. It seems so easy for him to walk away from 17 years of his life. PTSD or not why would someone walk away from everything. The people he hung out with while he was home are nothing like who he hung out with before. It's like he is trying to reinvent himself and start new.

I continue to pray that he finds the peace and happiness he is looking for. I am just sad that it looks like it won't be with me.

 

[ds112496]

It's been a month since my husband blindsided me with divorce papers. Every day I try to be stronger than the day before. He still has made no attempt to contact me except for sending me a Facebook friend request, which I have ignored. Today is his 40th birthday. I can't help but wonder if he thinks about me at all. I still do not understand how he can love me one day and then treat me like I am the worst person in the world. It has been so hard for me to not try and contact him. When I really want to I just tell myself "what's the point". I fear that he will never talk to me again. I know that I need to move on, but I really want my husband back.

 

[TheGreaterPurpose]

Hey ds112496,

I can tell you're having a rough time. I'm sorry things are so hard. Although I've never been married, I did have a gf I wanted to marry. She was the love of my life. Unfortunately she ended up leaving me the same way your husband left...just fell of the face of the earth and wouldn't contact me. It's not the same as being married for 17 yrs, I know. But in a small way I can imagine how you feel.

Does your husband suffer from PTSD? Is that why he left? As a PTSD sufferer, I can tell you from personal experience that just a few months ago I kind of left my girl friend the same way. One night the stress just became too much and I told her I didn't want to be with her. She was devastated. (Again, I know my experiences don't exactly compare to 17 years of marriage but I am just trying relate in my own way)

Was there some kind of stress that triggered your husband to leave? In my opinion, even though he doesn't make contact with you I think there is something in him deep down that still wants to contact you. Why would he ignore you but send you a friend request on fb I wonder? I know I still look on my ex-girl friend's fb page because I still love her and miss her. Maybe your husband is doing the same thing...

I don't know if I've helped any or just brought up more questions for you. I hope you feel better though. Message me when you need to talk