Struggling tonight

[Abstract]

I'm so sorry. I get those feelings sometimes too. Who are these people who disbelieved you? Is it in a group or something official? Other sufferers? I definitely people have a vested interest in not believing a psychiatric professional can do this. They want to stay in their bubble. How good are you at deciding if someone is a safe person before sharing about the past and rest with them?

Sending you lots of comfort. I hope it settles a bit soon.

 

[Noise]

Who are these people who disbelieved you? Is it in a group or something official? Other sufferers?

It was a support forum for another condition I have i was really panicked cause I thought my abuser was coming back to try to kill me. This happens semifrequently and I've been posting about it and things related to it for the past few months.

These people who happened to be the moderators of the site claimed I couldn't have experienced so much because it's not possible for one person to go through as much as I have?!?! Which is honestly really f*cking rude and also confusing to me cause I did experience these things. And so they branded me a liar

So over time as more pieces of my story came out. The moderators continued to accuse me of lying over everything I posted; from my abuse all the way to saying that I don't suffer from migraines....

It was horrible and they kept saying I was lying and harming people even though I was just telling the truth and trying to help people as best I could (cause it was a support forum smh)

And because people liked me because I was nice the moderators called me "manipulative" (a word I hate and repeatedly asked them to not use cause my abuser used it to describe me a lot.) Because people would defend me when they attacked me.

How good are you at deciding if someone is a safe person before sharing about the past and rest with them?

Apparently I'm pretty f*cking bad at it cause I keep getting screwed over and treated like crap for it. I'm sorry I'm just still really sad and frustrated.

Sending you lots of comfort. I hope it settles a bit soon

Thank you I just hate this I'm so hurt.

 

[joeylittle]

Apparently I'm pretty f*cking bad at it cause I keep getting screwed over and treated like crap for it.

Did this sort of thing (being disbelieved) happen other places, too? Or was it all related to that one forum?

 

[Noise]

I

Did this sort of thing (being disbelieved) happen other places, too? Or was it all related to that...

It was only that forum... but I was just really triggered cause my abuser always told me nobody would believe me. And this incident just made me freak out more about that and I just wasn't able to handle it. Im feeling a bit better now though.

 

[Abstract]

I don't know what type of forum it is but other than somewhere like here I think forums in general are an extremely bad place to share this type of thing if you in a vulnerable place. All sorts of ignorance tends to be common. Even a lot of other mental health support sites.

I get that it hit home in a truly horrible way because of your abusers words. He actually isn't right though.

 

[Noise]

I don't know what type of forum it is but other than somewhere like here I think forums in general are...

It was another mental health forum.... I only told because other people would say something about an abuse or trauma they suffered and i would be like I can kind of relate because of "blank

And i wouldnt go into full detail because 1. I didnt want to 2. I didnt need to for the points i was making.

But then these mods started accusing me of lying so I would explain further to try to prove I was telling the truth because they kept threatening me with getting banned and I really didn't want to get banned cause I had a lot of friends on the site and I care about them.

And they said such hateful things they told me I lacked common sense, they told me that abuse doesn't happen like that, they told me DID isn't real/needs to be medicated, they told me I clearly wasn't really traumatized cause I didn't tell the police when it happened.

And in the end they still didn't believe me. I lost a lot of contact and support with people I care about. And now I don't know what to do... I'm just very sad about the loss of my friends now.

Sorry this is kind of ranty...

 

[Teasel]

Understand your post being a bit ranty, you're upset hey :hug:
I hope you find this forum more understanding, I know I have :hug::hug:
Did it feel good at least to feel heard here?

 

[EveHarrington]

Not trying to be rude, but if you’re taking everything you read online personally and can’t throw away the “bad”, then being online may not be the right place for you in terms of getting support.

Why do you care what some random person online says about you? You’ll never know this person. You’ll never know the truth behind the username. Why is that one persons opinion devastating you so much?

If someone here says something you don’t like, do you run to that forum and complain about it? This just seems like a lot of unnecessary drama that could be resolved by not absorbing the opinions of random strangers online.

 

[Abstract]

I'm sorry that happened. Have to say I was on a depression support site at one point trying to avoid the ptsd stuff and although a few people occasionally discussed trauma and trauma symptoms mostly it made me feel like an :alien:. Profoundly misunderstood including by those with previous trauma. Thought eventually that various things were going on. Trauma but no ptsd. Denial. Entire lack of understanding of issues relating to traumatisation or agenda to do so. I was there because of avoiding but part of me was already trying to face it and recover. It wasn't the right place for it.

What they said and did understandably got to you. That's on them. Just make sure you think carefully, what place you are in, who and in what environment you share before you do so in the future. You should be just fine here.

 

[Noise]

Understand your post being a bit ranty, you're upset hey :hug:
I hope you find this forum more underst...

It was nice to be able to vent.
So far this forum has been much nicer.
Thank you. :hug:

 

[Noise]

Not trying to be rude, but if you’re taking everything you read online personally and can’t throw away the “bad”, then being online may not be the right place for you in terms of getting support.

I just don't have any support anywhere else except online. I don't know where else to go.

Why is that one persons opinion devastating you so much?

It was 4 different people's opinions and it's just they ran the site and I ended up losing contact with a lot of friends cause they didnt belive me that hurts bad. But then the fact that they called me a "liar" and "manipulative" just hit me really hard. Idk I can't help it... it just hurt.

If someone here says something you don’t like, do you run to that forum and complain about it?

No I don't I just felt really horrible and just needed to talk. I don't want to cause any problems .

This just seems like a lot of unnecessary drama that could be resolved by not absorbing the opinions of random strangers online.

I don't mean to absorb people's views I guess it just happens. I don't want drama....

 

[Scarlet13]

Hi,

So I get why this is so triggering, this makes a lot of sense considering that this is what your abuser said.

You can use some insight to see these people as ignorant. Abuse can be terrible and people don't want to believe horrible shit can happen so they are discounting you because of their fears.

There are prob people who are antipsychiatry who come on that sight all the time and you got pegged as that.

But if you understand trauma AT ALL you would know that doctors and psychiatrists can TOTALLY be abusive. There are known cases of this out there. Your doc was really clever and knew that there exists an inherent trust of doctors.

But think about it-people who abuse are the ones society "typically" trusts. Teachers, mothers, babysitters, neighbors, priests.
People who are in a position of care for vulnerable people will abuse.
These are doctors. But we trust and need doctors and we put them on a pedestal.
Your psychiatrist knew all of this.

I think as far as this situation goes going through the cognitive distortions could help.
You are using part for whole here. These jerks online do not represent the opinions of the whole world. These people are not experts. Moderators are people too and they can be totally wrong. Just because they are in a position of power does not give them credibility on this.
Remember this concept:
It is always the wisest decision to be your own ally. Don't side with them. You know the truth. You know the story. You know a child does not deserve abuse, nobody does. The concept of "deserving" is really you just engaging in sort of a self harm in order to cope with this trigger.
This is a trigger and it will pass. Be your own ally hear and f*ck those moderators, they do not have enough strength to process/tolerate/accept horrible stories that challenge their notions of the world.

I just wanted to say that my 4th paragraph down about understanding trauma at all is not directed at you, but at the ones invalidating you. I can tell you understand trauma. I hope that was clear.