Stupid Stupid Stupid

[Crow]

The next chapter in my seemingly endless evolution of relationship building with T.

I accidentally dropped my cat - in her carrier - down the outside stairwell Saturday. She rolled upside down probably four times. I was on the way to the vet and cried all the way there thinking I'd severely injured her. I looked at my phone contacts trying to find someone to call. I realized I have no one in my life to call for support. That was sobering. I called T and choked out a message about Ella. I think dropping her was my breaking point. It'd been a horrible week including someone side swiping my car and some work challenges.

Anyway. I sat in the vet lobby for an hour. The client came out of the exam room and the tech picked up one carrier and took it into the room. I was gathering the second carrier when the person said something. I looked up and it took several seconds but I finally recognized T. I was still thinking I'd nearly killed my cat and I asked her for a hug.

OMG I am so mortified. That was so far from what I would normally do. I was feeling alone in the world and then there she was.

I do not ever want to see her again. Of course I'll go to session Tuesday but dear lord how freaking stupid of me.

Ella is fine btw.

 

[mrsps]

There is no need to feel mortified!! She sounds like a very nice T :)
Glad your cat is all good

 

[Eleanor]

Not stupid at all! NOT.

I am glad Ella is ok. AND I'm glad you asked for a hug. From personal experience, hugs in vet offices are par for the course. And that was a PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE TIME to ask for a hug. It would be I think appropriate for a perfect stranger to offer a hug in this kind of circumstance to a scared fellow animal person at the vet's office. Surely this is a site of shared human emotional suffering and a clear kinship. If one can't ask/offer comfort to others in a situation like this... well, when would it be ok? This is called "being a good human being."

So, where does the mortification come from? I think the impulse and doing are a huge breakthrough. Celebration is in order.:tup::tup::tup::tup::tup:

I haven't read any of your other posts or where the "crow feather" name comes from, but is it by any chance a reference to the feather in Dumbo? The magic one that enables him to fly?

 

[Crow]

Thanks Eleanor! Reading your comments calmed down my fear quite a bit.

I hadn't put together Dumbo and the feather but it totally fits :) My favorite movie as a little one and the magic feather. Wow. Very cool.

Thank you!

 

[Eleanor]

Hang on to that Feather, CF!

 

[Crow]

First thing T asked when I walked in today was if I wanted a hug. We had a great talk. :) I'm slowly getting there!

 

[mrsps]

First thing T asked when I walked in today was if I wanted a hug.

yay that's awesome, such a nice T you have. Glad you had a good talk with her :)