Sufferer Suffered Years Of Systematic Mental, Physical And Sexual Abuse As A Young Boy

[Deleted member 20280]

I have been diagnosed as of yesterday as I suffered years of systematic mental, physical and sexual abuse as a young boy. After twenty years a doctor has finally reached a true diagnosis and I feel out of control now and really scared as I am not suppressing this any more.

This is the most scared I have felt for a very long time.

Laurie 42 United Kingdom

 

[ericaboo]

Dear Laurie71,

Try not to be afraid - things can get better. You are finally diagnosed and can seek out effective treatment.

Welcome to the forums, and may you find support and information that will help you through this tough time.

-Erica

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Thankyou for contact. I cant stop shaking as in all this my family have deserted me and I find myself homless and living on sofa at the moment.

Laurie

 

[ericaboo]

I know it's shocking how it can all hit you at once. When I was diagnosed, almost immediately, I faced divorce, having to move out of my home, and becoming estranged from my family.

A year later, I've gotten some very good therapy, much great support from this site, my own apartment, and some semblance of stability in my life.

It does get better if you work at it... but it's a rocky road for sure!

Big Hugs Laurie - take good care of yourself.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I'm also in the UK, Shropshire, England.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Hi KP thanks for making contact I am in Devon

 

[intothelight]

Hi Laurie,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Receiving the initial diagnosis can be scary, but finding out what is wrong is also the first step towards fixing it. I hope you find the information and support here beneficial as you work on healing.

There is also a sister site you may find helpful: MySexAbuse.com. The link can be found at the bottom of this page.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Maggiemay]

*huggles *
You've taken the 1st step which is the hardest.

Xxx

 

[Raj]

Welcome and I know it is scary, you are not alone in your struggles here. I have some similarities to you, however nobody is the same, please feel free to let me know how I can be of help.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Thankyou raj. My shakes have stopped at the moment but I fear all the time that they will just appear out I'd the blue. I don't have many visual flashbacks they are mainly feelings of dress and terror. I get really paranoid all the time now too that people are judging me and staring. My family don't want to speak to me and I an now estranged from them. This is making it all the more frightening. Have you any advise for coping.

 

[Raj]

There are many here more qualified than me regarding coping skills. Sharing your worries and feelings with others I personally feel is a really good start as it means are are seeking support an I know I find a lot of support here that I don' get anywhere else. Also if you are able a good therapist can help, one helped me in the past letting me know I was not to blame for what happened for example. I personally cope by being on this forum writing in my diary and even screaming into a pillow!

 

[rightkindofme]

If this is your bottom then you have nowhere to go but up. That is a lot of how I have handled my darkest days. I was alone at 18. I couch surfed and had to find a support network that was more like a patchwork quilt. I have depended on the kindness of random strangers for a lot of my life. :-\

On my worst days I chant, "You may have had a bad childhood but whether you have a bad adulthood is up to you." A friend used to have that as a sig line on her email. Today is better than basically every day of my childhood. When I was couch surfing and terrified of the future and didn't have two nickels to rub together it was still better than the abuse.

I have some inkling how afraid you are. But this is a positive step. If your family hurt you that much maybe it is a good thing to break contact. Maybe not. The future is hard to predict.

I'm sorry you are hurting. I hope you find a safety net soon.