Suicidal Ideation, poor coping skills

[loui50]

So I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately. Not that I want to die, I just can't stop thinking about it. I have ended many panic attacks in my life by telling myself, I can always just kill myself if it gets too bad. I need better coping skills! I've talked to T about this in the past, but I'm feeling this way again. I lot of things are contributing. Mostly PTSD triggers. But I also have a disabled son that is have horrible behavior and I'm super worried about him.

I feel like sometimes there is no way out. I know logically that there is always another way. But sometimes I just hurt so much I can't see the other ways. I usually reach out to T and I will on Tuesday when I see her. I already told her that i was spiraling down hill so she scheduled me for 2x a week appointments when I asked.

How do you cope with suicidal thoughts? Do you talk to your t about it?

I guess I know to talk to t. What I want to know is how you cope on your own. Like do you have things you do specifically. I've tried grounding. It helps but doesn't stick with me long. When I have a severe panic attack, I always resort to thinking I can always kill myself if it gets too bad. So how do you end a panic attack.

 

[Freida]

I sometimes do better talking to a stranger on a crisis line than I do talking to my T. I think I'm afraid to disappoint them by admitting I'm forgetting everything they've taught me about coping or some such silly thing.
I really like the chat feature - then I don't even have to let hear my voice.

Fastest thing for stopping a panic attack (courtesly of my ptsd guru) is putting an ice pack on the back of my neck, right where it meets the skull. His reasoning was that your amygdala is right there so it cools it down. Not sure if that's true but it is amazingly effective. Maybe worth a try?

 

[loui50]

@Freida, Thanks!! I will try the ice trick. I'm reading back through my thread and dont even think it makes much sense, lol. I was a little scatterbrained when I posted!

 

[MyWillow]

The thing that helps is knowing that this is something my brain does to take control - of the pain, of the chaos. So anything else I can do that aids the control helps. Routine helps - even doing yoga and physio exercises every morning count as control. Getting my work emails down to below 25. Etc. It sucks. It’s hard. But I’m not used to discussing it.

 

[ms spock]

It is really good that you reached out! I am so glad that you have a Trauma Therapist to work through these issues with.

I do lots of things:
walking and feeling myself put my foot down each time
exercise
going out
reading books
CBT David Burns - his book is really worth buying
DBT DBT Self Help
disco dancing
writing
listening to meditations online Instant Mindfulness
posting on this forum
Self Compassion audio (free from Kristin Neff's website) Self-Compassion
ringing the Suicide Call Back Line
being in nature
watching comedians