Support And Tips For Pelvic Exams

[Kefira]

So, I'm a trafficking/sexual violence survivor. And like many people with ptsd I do not do well with the increased vulnerability that comes with doctor's visits. But lately symptoms have gotten out of hand and I need to go in and be checked out. I know I have cysts from another unrelated hospital visit because they showed up in scans, but we're looking to see whether I have PCOS or something similar that would explain all of the different symptoms and pain I've been having.

It's been probably 4 years since I had a pelvic exam. The two I've had were very bad experiences that left me triggered and freaked out for days afterward. So I'm trying to make sure that this is as low stress as possible, since I nearly had a panic attack just trying to make the appointment. I'm going when I stay with my friends over the holidays, so it's a new office to me but It does mean that I have someone who knows me and my tendencies to take me to the appointment and provide emotional support. I intend to let the staff know about my history, and to take a weighted travel blanket and aromatherapy with me.

Just looking for validation and also wondering if anyone has any suggestions they've had success with for this or other sorts of appointments. Pelvic exams and dental work are always the worst for me.

 

[Nam]

I really think it would be best that the doctor has your history prior to your appointment. If that is not possible, it might help to write it down first and have him read it...because, if you are like me when scared, nothing comes out right. Also, take someone with you that soothes you. That will help during the times of waiting. I hope the appointment will give you answers.

I don't have much experience to this specifically...I do know a little from a different stand point. I used to work in a Labor and Delivery ward. I know exactly how/why women get traumatized. It has everything to do with control. The more control you have, the better off you are. Give yourself and out if it doesn't feel right to you. Get a different doctor if needed. The feeling you should get from your doctor is a partnership. Two people working together for healthy outcomes.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Taking a friend, your iPod with your favorite music, warm socks and if you have any, take a tranquilizer. I hate internals, I dissociate so I don't react. Oh, and dentists are the worst!! I have neglected my teeth too long.
Perhaps your friend can hold your hand. I agree that an advance notice to the Doc is a good idea. It is YOUR body, you call the shots. I'm glad to hear that you're going to give it a try. Gotta know what's going on. Good luck and I hope it helps you sort out your problems.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

You're not alone in those feelings. I had my therapist call my doctor ahead of time to explain things. My gynecologist was excellent. When I see my primary care physician (which is almost as triggering for me sometimes oddly enough), I have begun to write things down for her so she can read it first since I sometimes go mute. So I guess my suggestions are to let the doctor know of your history ahead of time, write any other information down, and other than that I think you have some pretty good thoughts on how to make it bearable for yourself.

 

[Kefira]

Thank you everyone who's commented. @KwanYingirl The music is a good idea and the warm sock suggestion made me giggle but would probably help :).

I agree that I should probably let them know beforehand. I will take care of that. And my friend is awesome, so I'm not as worried as I would be if I were on my own. She told me once that she would understand if I had a phobia of tying my shoelaces, so now we use it as a code word for when I'm freaking out with something. I told her when I knew I had to make the appointment, "I'm going to have to do a shoelace thing while I'm there, can you help?" And she's been really supportive and understanding about it. I'm not sure if I want her in the room or not. Something about that seems scary, but I think it's a protective urge embedded in my conditioning because I had contact with other people who were going through the same trauma as I was. I'm sure I'll figure that part out. I'll probably just have to talk it over with her.

 

[Seagreen]

I hate them too. I prefer not to discuss my history with the doctor before hand as it seems to increase the anticipation for me. I would rather not make any kind of deal out of it and just get through it and leave. For me the anticipation and the aftermath are the worst parts. My friend is a nurse and said that some women opt to have their exam done under general anaesthetic but that may also be traumatic for some people. I live in Australia so not sure if it happens anywhere else and what the costs involved would be. Music is a good idea. Lots of self care when you get home to reward yourself.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Hey kefira,

I understand how difficult this is and I think music is the best thing. I put in the earphones and max my volume. I think you should definitely let your friend in so you have a hand to hold. I also thrive on humor, so have your friend bring some shoelaces. ( if you are like me with humor).

Keep it in the back of your mind that having a pelvic/pap is preventative and although it is a horrifying experience, it beats the alternative.....cervical dysplasia or even cancer.

I hope it goes well for you, you will be in my thoughts. :)

 

[Karen12]

You're braver than I am, Kefira. I haven't had one in years. I take a stuffed animal with me to the dentist sometimes, if that helps.

 

[Kefira]

so have your friend bring some shoelaces

This seems about right. :) Sometimes I tell her I'm upset by linking a picture of shoelaces that are themed to match my upset. I never knew there was such a market for novelty shoelaces before this inside joke began.

I take a stuffed animal with me to the dentist sometimes

Now I'm just imagining rolling up with a small suitcase: my music, my blanket, my stuffed leopard, whatever else I can throw in that seems helpful.

It's worse because of the anticipation, and I'll have a week after I get there before I can be seen too. I hate appointments like this where you have to book them so far in advance because of busy offices.

 

[Karen12]

Maybe take a nice tote bag instead of a suitcase? I don't see any problem with that!