General Supporter counselling - helpful?

[Freida]

I would very likely divorce my hubby if he disclosed my diagnosis to ANYONE without my approval. Or at least make his life a living hell.
Over reacting? Yep. But truth

If he said he wanted to go to counseling or get accommodations from work because of my ptsd? Then we could approach it together and I would determine what info they had to have vs what info they wanted. I could be happily supportive towards the process and willing to work towards getting him what he needed

But if he did it behind my back? TOTAL violation of privacy. It's one of my few hot buttons that I can't get past. And it wouldn't end well for either of us

 

[Mee]

This has happened to me to. Work were NOT supportive at all. I now work elsewhere. A job is only a job...

I think his job is important. His team rely on him, his company rely on him. I am ok with not being his hands on priority through the working week and feel that his disclosure and discussion shows that he is mindful to keep my needs prioritised as much as he can and his mental health balanced.

Sometimes I think his need to keep a roof over our head, and. Things for his employers will come before my needs even though at that moment I might feel MY world is crashing down and the sky falling I accept it's his job to keep our roof where it is under the stable sky.

It's tough. I have faith in him and he has it in me.

@Frieda. I understand your boundary. I trust my partner and ours is different. As an example I have given my dr a signed letter to discuss my medical details directly with my partner too , for days I feel out of my depth with rationality. I trust him with everything. If this facilitates his life ... in the place HE is primarily not me, then I could suck it up if it bothered me. As it is it doesn’t . Should it? Is it something I should be more ashamed of ? I don’t know . I am not yet contained enough for that

 

[Sweetpea76]

Like I said... double edged sword. Sometimes you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I would never dream of violating his privacy, but a girl has to eat, and seek help if her own mental health is bottoming out. Disclosing something when there is a legal obligation for confidentiality is one thing... blabbing to the world is another.

My vet has no idea that for a period of time I had to go back on anxiety medication as a direct result of dealing with all this. I needed help and I got it... but I knew what knowing that would do to him. He'd spiral into self loathing over a decision that *I* made to cope with *MY* issues. I could have left the relationship, but I chose the alternative of managing my own stress and working through it. If I don't have a say in his mental health management then what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

[Freida]

Is it something I should be more ashamed of ? I don’t know . I am not yet contained enough for that

No no -- nothing to be ashamed of! this is actually something I'm working on -- the need to hide what is "wrong" with me. I would be good with hubby if he had to disclose stuff - as long as I was part of the conversation. My bad is losing it if he does it "behind my back". But I also get that this is not a rational thing -- so I'm trying to work on it. Not necessarily successfully - but trying​