General Supporters: ask a sufferer (symptoms etc)

[Never_falter2]

Cross posted. Thanks for your answer @Sietz. I am not sure it is a ptsd thing too. I thought it might be related to hypervigilance but maybe not. What would you suggest how I cope with it in order to make it work for both of us?

 

[ILoveLife]

I don't think it has to do with intelligence, more with security in self.
I know people who can't for the life of them make a decision, and I know they can, they're just afraid it will be the wrong one.
PTSD probably makes this matter a lot worse, vet, brainy, civilian, not brainy, people included.
Do you trust his decisions? Tell him so when appropriate.

 

[mumstheword]

My guy sometimes tells me obvious things that I would have to be stupid not to know, like yesterday he said "don't forget your pin number" (for my keycard). I was a bit annoyed but had to let it go. I have a high IQ. So does my guy, but we've both had brain injury and developmental trauma, and both have ptsd.
I think it's a fear thing, where they want to feel more in control and in command of the situation.
Repetative things are also a brain/nervous system soothing thing.

 

[Never_falter2]

I actually do trust his decisions 100%, he makes very good decisions... and I really think he really is very brainy. I would think so too if I did not know the results of IQ tests.

My vet actually struggles to make decisions. He often questions and second guesses what he does and will sometimes just sit around and do nothing and wait for somebody to safe him if he cannot reach a decision.

But when he is convinced something is right, he is convinced.

Yep @mumstheword. Things like do not forget your PIN number. That is the things he reminds you of.

 

[ILoveLife]

Is he in treatment? I think this is something to be handled in therapy.
He might've made a series of bad decisions and now he's not so sure of himself.
I have this too. But it's a recent thing for me.

 

[Swift]

Thank you @Sweetpea76 . I'm not very forthright and I know I have limited authority here. On topic ahoy!

why do some people with ptsd keep repeating some things?

Oh man.
I call it "looping." Sometimes something just latches on like a bugbear and won't let go.
If we're playing "symptoms bingo" (where does this fit as a symptom), I'd call it partly anxiety and partly avoidance.
I often get "stuck" in a thought pattern. I will have the literal same thought about 500 times an hour (eg, make sure they boys wear their helmets, or for me, make sure the dog has had her eardrops, or something about work.)
It's got a lot in common with obsessive thoughts, like "have I locked the door" or "did I leave the iron on." (I don't own an iron for this very reason.)
I can *know* the dog has had her eardrops.
I can look at the door, and see that it's locked
But the thought just repeats and repeats and repeats for me.
Your partner probably knows that you'd never let the kids out without their helmets.
It's just the sheer persistence of the thought.
One of the things my therapists have told me to do, to break that loop, is verbalise it or act on it.
Eg re-lock the door, and say out loud, "the door is locked."
Doesn't always work.
For me, it's partly HV (eg, have I locked the door), and partly that the thought seems to have sunk it's teeth in nd won't let go.

not very brainy

I find the whole "braininess" conundrum really interesting.
To draw an analogy, one of the functions of my PTSD is hyperacusis, eg mad awesome super-sensory hearing. I think I'm stomping around like a giant and everyone in a 500 mile radius could hear me coming. I still "sneak up" on my supporters, and I'm like, 'how could you not have heard me? Wtf?'
The same supersensory effect seems to apply to "braininess."
If you put a glass balancing on the edge of a counter, it's likely to knock over, and any idiot could have foreseen that.
Because our "danger" senses are off the wall, sometimes we get short-tempered when people don't foresee that plans could end in problems, despite it being completely blindingly obvious to us.

The changes in the brain with PTSD with regards to this sort of thing are amazing, just on a cellular and structural level. I'd be happy to explain more if anyone's interested.

 

[Never_falter2]

Yes. I am interested could you please explain more?

 

[OrangeJulius]

@Never_falter I dont have any answers but my vet does the same. I have chalked it up to a combination of crappy memory, attempt to be helpful, and hypervigilance. Most of the things he tells me time and time again is the locations of weapons and survival gear in our home and how to use it. He also thrives in a teaching position, I think it gives him purpose and makes him feel useful.

 

[Swift]

There are some super-,interesting pics on google of PTSD brains, and how they differ from a typical brain. (Imma use 'typical' instead of 'normal' just for the sake of correct language, but I'm not offended by the word 'normal' as non-PTSD.)

The brain is a fascinating, complex organ. It's plastic, so it can be moulded into shapes, and it's full of neural pathways that are alterable. Neuroplasticity is a fairly modern concept. It's opposite is 'localization', ,which is the belief that certain areas of the brain are the only areas capable of producing specific functions. Localization dates back to ancient Greece, and views the brain as a hardwired system, immutable and unchangeable. Neuroplasticity views the brain as plastic.
If localization were correct, there'd be no such thing as recovery from things like stroke, where entire areas of the brain can be wiped out. Stroke victims recover functioning by rewiring these areas. There'd also be no such thing as recovery from PTSD.

PTSD affects the brain's pathways and structures.
The two structures I can probably explain the best are the hindbrain (amygdala etc), and the hippocampus.

First, the hippocampus. If this was a webcomic, I'd draw a bunch of hippos studying and doing stuff at uni (Hippo Campus.) The word comes from the Greek for "horse" (hippo) and "sea monster" (kampos), and it was given that name because it's vaguely seahorse shaped. The hippocampus is the bit of your brain that differentiates between past and present memory, among other things. In PTSD the hippocampus is visibly smaller in volume, by quite a lot. Thus, the PTSD brain processes memory very differently to the typical brain. What this means for us, is we have trouble differentiating between present and past memories, because our brains don't draw the distinction that the trauma memory is in the past and we're not in danger now. The goals of things like processing memories through talk therapy, and some types of exposure work, is to put these memories in the "past" file, so that our brains aren't tipped into trauma land every time they pop up.

The second is what I call "lizard brain." It's the most primitive part of our brains. It's the survival circuit, the rhythms that govern the four F's: fighting, flying, feeding and f...mating. in people with PTSD, this takes over much, much, much more of the brain than is typical.
Another principle of neuroplasticity is that neurons create pathways, and what wires together, fires together. The brain can inadvertently strengthen bad pathways - if I get an intellectual spike of danger that's then backed up by the physical sensations of what my body does when it's in danger, then my brain learns to make the connection between "I feel danger" and "parasympathetic nerves freakout time!" More quickly, even if danger isn't present.

Let's take the example of a trigger. Why do people with PTSD have triggers, and why are they so, so much more than a reminder of something unpleasant?

Because my brain doesn't differentiate between past and present memory, the danger that's in the memory, is the danger that my brain thinks is there. Because my amygdala is bigger and overactive, my body kicks into survival mode more quickly and more strongly. Because the pathway between "intellectual danger" and "physical danger" has been wired in by practice, I am triggered with a past memory as though that memory is still present.

Does that make any sense?

The other thing our brains do is wire their sensory pathways harder, and more directly to the lizard brain. For me, the best example is my hyper-hearing. My trauma doesn't involve loud noises at all. But, because my amygdala is too big and my hippocampus is too small, my brain has wired itself to pass signals from my auditory sense-processing centre to the lizard brain, and not to the pre-frontal cortex, where intellectual functioning is possible.
Result: loud noises = parasympathetic nerve freakout.
That's another reason we find this stuff almost literally impossible to talk about.
The lizard brain doesn't have a language area.
The language skills and higher functioning are in the front of the brain.
When a brain isn't calm, it devotes it's energy to surviving, not thinking.
Because we don't process trauma or stimuli with our front brains, but instead with our lizard brains, we quite literally don't have the words.

Hopefully that's helpful. I'll do my best to explain any question I can. I'm only one survivor, though.

(My sources for this: was an EEG tech for a living. Have read loads of books,most notably "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge and Neurofeedback for Developmental Trauma by Sebern Fisher. I'm doing neurofeedback atm, so I'm able to see what mg brainwaves look like on EEG, which is how I know the size and position and functioning of my areas.)

 

[somerandomguy]

Brilliant, @Swift. Thanks for that terrific explanation!

 

[Swift]

Any and all questions welcome.
(Just another reminder that this thread is a Drama Free Zone. If you don't like what or how I post, or how another member posts, it's not helpful to be here for you, or any other reason, please find a discussion that's better suited to what you need at the moment.)

 

[ILoveLife]

Loved the explanation, @Swift!