Surgery & Illness Are Triggers, Need Help Preparing!

[Sally sue]

So, I have an upcoming surgery in 3 1/2 weeks to repair my ankle...long stupid story...anyway, I'll be in a non-weightbearing cast for 4 weeks and I'm really worried that my mood will plummet into dark depression and sometimes when I'm injured or have an injury I fight with self-harm urges :(. I'm trying to prepare my body by swimming, my house by cleaning, but my mind is full of darkness already sigh!

I have past traumas around surgery and certain parts of my body, and I tried looking up the way they do the surgery to ease my mind, if they would use a catheter, BUT oh my gosh!!! I'm freaking out about other parts I saw ahhhh!

I keep telling myself that I could be hit by a bus before the surgery and so I shouldn't worry about it, but that's not helping...advice please!!!

:cry: Sally Sue

 

[desiderata310]

Since I am a runner, I understand the frustration, depression and triggers that go with being injured. recently I was out for 3 months in a boot. Swimming (and then cycling once I could get back on the bike) helped but it isn't the same. I can't remember if you are a runner or not but I seem to remember that you were.

I am not certain what about the surgery is triggering but I CAN say that it's just scary as heck even WITHOUT PTSD. PTSD jus exacerbates things.

The one thing that helped me was to remember that I have the easy part: You go to sleep and these lovely people take care of you.

I have a nurse friend who is a pre-op nurse. Those folks are the ones who will be with you and put that IV in your arm and will stay with you and WATCH YOU and your vitals and make certain you are ok the entire time. That is their whole job. He/She is your advocate in surgery, and pre and post op. You may or may not remember them but they are there for you and they are a different breed of people altogether.

It's not just a bunch of uncaring people who are going to be cutting on you or what not. There is one person who is there just to make certain you are SAFE. I don't go in for these kinds of images myself but they are, in a way, a guardian angel. Once you start to go under they won't ever be more than an arm's length away.

I hope that helps.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Oh I triggered hugely before I had my gastric bypass. I was in tears wondering why it had to come to me having surgery to lose weight even though I tried.

Remember that your ankle will heal and this is for the betterment of your health. Surgery is always scary but think "happy thoughts" and bring along something that puts you at ease. I usually talk to everyone because of my nervous energy and that is okay. Keep talking about things in your life, things that are going on TV that you like, anything about you that will put your mind at ease. Just talk.

Just before I had my surgery, I prayed and said, "God, do with me what you will." And then I was in the hospital bed after the surgery and all was well, except me throwing up blood once. They kept me an extra day and I was fine.

You will be too.

 

[KP the nut]

For the actual surgery and hospital part, I would put a grounding/relaxing plan in place. I would ensure that the staff dealing with me are aware of my issues. Music and essential oils always help me so I would load my iPod with music and a good audible book. I'd mix a base oil with essential to help relax me and apply it, also lemon oil to keep me in the present.

For the recovery, have you thought about a new project that you could start. Something you can sit at. I make greetings cards for friends so I'd start on making my Christmas cards. As silly as it seems but colouring mandalas keeps my brain occupied and you can see something for your efforts.

Plan treats for yourself, maybe someone coming to give you a manicure.

Then there is always this forum. Lots of folk to chat to and cheer you on.

 

[Sally sue]

@desiderata310 that's an excellent way of looking at it :) I hope I get the same nurse I did last time! She was wonderful!

@Ladyghosthunter thank you for the reminders about being better afterwards! It's hard because it feels like so many people (mostly my family) think I'm making the wrong choice and I'm not smart enough to make the right choices :(. My brother told my mom how upset he was about the whole thing, and wanted to know if I picked someone well qualified and I trusted...duh!!! Who would pick someone lousy and stupid to operate on their leg? Just invalidating and hurtful :(.

@KP the nut preparing for afterwards is definitely something I'm thinking about, but I...well, I used to be so active...I just feel absolutely worthless and no good when I'm laid up :(. Drawing cards for friends and my students (I need to send 'thank you's' for end of year gifts) that might feel like I was doing something worthwhile.

I wish I wasn't so scared, and I'm really scared of tourniquets and catheters! Last time I had a panic attack when they were prepping me, and they didn't seem to understand
:(.

Thank you again for your kind words and support,

Sally Sue

 

[desiderata310]

Tell them before you get to that point that you are PTSD. Be specific and give them warning that it may take some help to get you grounded again.