Taking A Leap Of Faith....

[lifeispainful]

Hi.... I'm new here and this is my first post.... My heart is pounding and my mind is racing a hundred miles an hour. Please bare with me.

I don't even know where to start... I feel like I'm going crazy. The last year has been hell. 4 family cancer deaths and my own diagnois of advanced lung cancer..... and then there is all the crap from my childhood that I have tried to stuff all my life. My dad beating up on my mom, siblings getting abused and well I'm sure you get the picture.

I'm going to start seeing a doc who specializes in trama next week and I just feel panic at the thought of disclosing sooo many thoughts and feelings and afraid of the ones I haven't even felt yet.

How do you start? Just writing this has me in tears and the fear....how do you get through it?

 

[CCurry]

Hi Lifeispainful,

Welcome and I'm very sorry to hear about your family loss, that is devastating and your diagnosis must be equally as painful to bare.

The first step in Therapy is always the hardest and biggest, it won't be easy but it WILL get easier.

I can feel the pain and fear in your post, my prayers are with you and know that we are here to lend an ear whenever you need.

C.

 

[BethRSA]

Hi lifeispainful! Welcome to the forum!

I'm so sorry to hear of your cancer and all the cancer deaths in your family. I'm sure it's a very scary time for you. You'll be in my prayers.

Although it's VERY difficult and scary, I'm glad that you will be seeing a therapist about your traumas from your family. You've taken a very big step in even making the appointment.

How do you cope? One moment at a time. (One day at a time is too long with PTSD.) Just bit by bit.

You've come to a good place to learn, get encouragement and be challenged to really LIVE even though we've have trauma.

:Hug_emoticon: Beth

 

[helena]

Hi there,

You are going through so much and you are going to need a lot of support to get you through this.

Coming to this forum will help you. There are so many great people on this site who will be there for you.

Helena

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear life,

You have more than started!

Reach out, talk about what you're feeling (anything and everything) if and when you feel like it, and like Beth said- break it down into one moment at a time.

Treat yourself as you would your own daughter- with the utmost gentleness, love and understanding.

Grieve, laugh, cry, get angry, whatever- it's all 'allowed'.

And please don't forget, you have many more people here than you realize who can empathisize with you, and support you, and will 'stick with you', through each and every step.

Welcome! :hello:
:Hug_emoticon:

 

[Manic11]

Good for you for taking this leap of faith! You did it!
I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through and are going through now.
I understand your fear and how overwhelming it can be.
As for where to start? Start with what feels right. With what you feel comfortable talking about. It can be anything. Take a deep breath and do this for you. Its about what you feel comfortable with.
I know it can be hard but sometimes, unfortunately, it has to get harder before it gets easier. Trust me though, it will get easier.

You took a leap of faith by joining this forum, by writing this post and by talking to a doctor. Now try a leap of faith in yourself!
You can do it and we're hear for support along the way.

Don't be afraid to bring along something that helps you cope such as music, a smooth rock you can play with in your pocket, stuffed animal, etc. Everyone needs a grounding object.

Peace and Hope
Manic

 

[lifeispainful]

Thank you for your support. I am so glad I took a leap in faith in posting to this site.

I hope that I will be able to contribute and ask for your support as this journey progresses. It helps knowing that I am not alone and that others do understand.

Blessings to all.

 

[tryintobreathe]

Lifeispainful,

Welcome to the forum. I'm so glad you found us, this is such a great place for information and support. You don't have to do this alone!

Jen