Terrified Of People

[Wolvescry]

I wanted to write a whole lot about how I feel but I can't Right now I am feeling stuck and helpless. I have been having trouble with so much lately. People keep using the word tantrum to explain my episodes and saying I go back to being the girl I was when the abuse happened. But they are never around when they happen, how can they tell me this. I feel like they do not understand. And its not only my therapist that says this, people make comments all the time around me about making tantrums now too. Its obvious they are being suggestive by there tone. I DO NOT FEEL SAFE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!

 

[bitterfight_]

My mom says this kind of thing a lot too, although she doesn't say temper tantrum, she calls me hysterical. I don't think it's good of your therapist to call them tantrums - maybe that is just me, but therapists are supposed to support you, not criticize your behavior. I have blown up less lately because I do a lot of jogging and running (it helps me tremendously). Honestly, it just sounds like they don't understand why you're reacting the way you are. I usually try to calm down before explaining why I was triggered/why I blew up, and they usually understand afterwards. Take some time to relax after an episode, and then come back to the situation and ask yourself why you felt the way you did, and try to explain it to them. If you feel you're going to be frustrated, wait until another time. Sending good vibes your way - you're not alone in this feeling!

 

[arfie]

I have no way to know what it is in your case, but in my own, personal case, calling my sudden rages, "tantrums" helped me turn the corner on getting my rage issues under control. The search for a more dignified name for it was part of what fueled my "tantrums" into adult rage. Just part, but learning how to catch it early was a pretty critical part for me. For me, anger escalates faster and more dangerously than any of my PTSD symptoms.

But that is me.

Gentle encouragement while you figure out what it is for you, Wolvescry.

 

[Wolvescry]

Thanks you both.

 

[Wolvescry]

arfie yes I understand that, but I don't really get angry, I get scared and panicky. I freak out, I feel unsafe and scared of everyone and I start crying or pacing or rocking myself repeating things I don't remember, my bf say I mostly say its my fault over and over again or I am so sorry. I get upset with people, but I usually just stay away from people who make upset by being disrespectful towards my shortcomings. And I do not understand why people around who are not my therapist are making comment about tantrums all the time all of a sudden. I never had tantrums in front of my therapist or any of my coworkers. I have had crying spells when I face many triggers, but is that really a tantrum?

 

[arfie]

Repeat: I have no way to know what it is in your case, Wolvescry.

In my case, it fit. I was only sharing my own, personal experience.

Also repeat: gentle encouragement while you figure out what it is for you. Sincerely.

 

[shimmerz]

Based on what you are saying @Wolvescry it sounds more like a fear response that leads to withdrawal. You do say though that you don't recall sometimes so that makes it more difficult to bring to cognition. I feel like that is where you can really start to get to know how to deal with what your reactions are. Video cameras or tape recorders when you get into that mode (if you can catch it) can really give great insight as you can wait until the 'moment' is over and review it to see what is really happening. Just a suggestion.