That Time Of Year - How Do You Feel?

[Nicolette]

I was just wondering if you felt that Christmas/New Year makes a difference to your emotional state more than other times of the year ... too much excitement, the stress of all the events, loneliness, having to deal with family etc?

I have noticed some members seem more 'reactive', I have seen and read that some Sufferers find it all a bit stressful or depressing, I have read Supporters feeling like they are back on the roller coaster ride as Christmas day was great but then their Sufferer 'fell over the next day' and so on.

What are your thoughts and feelings?

 

[Tessa]

I think Christmas does make us more reactive. I ended up at the hospital with my pregnant daughter in law who started bleeding at 2am. She was so worried about spoiling Christmas that I ended up telling her it was just another day and all that mattered was her and the baby.
My youngest daughter just got dumped by her 2 yr boyfriend before Christmas and she felt it made Christmas worse for her.
We ended up flooded by a huge wall of water and now,back at work,await the floodwaters to reach us here. Somehow it does all seem worse over Christmas and New Year.

 

[intothelight]

This time of year normally adds stress, and I really believe that any increase of stress (good,bad, or both) really can cause an increase in symptoms. Depending where people are in the healing process, the triggers of this time of year, and other life events are going to determine the severity of the increase.

The only thing I can do is look at what worked and what didn't and modify things accordingly. I also have to keep in mind there are things I cannot control that cause stress, and focus on the things I can control, specifically my reactions.

 

[cat]

I used to love all the preparations for christmas & new year but since my trauma that happened on new years eve 2005, i just dont have the same enthusiasm or energy to withstand the extra stress, dreading the date as it gets closer. This year I decided that i wasnt going to dread it, I've done the therapy, feeling stable etc, but yet again, despite all the strategies - positive thoughts, he's in Australia & cant hurt me(Aus is welcome to him!) focusing on my grandchildren, that dread has crept back clouding my thoughts & feelings.

I spent christmas with my son & family, and yes christmas day was ok, you get caught up in the spirit of the day esp if children around, but the noise, conversation, tv, lack of routine is exhausting, after that i came down with a bump & slept for most of boxing day.

Today it is 6yrs since my ex husband physically abused me & my body has remembered. I'm sitting here shaking & in tears, trying to keep positive thoughts knowing that what i'm feeling is a memory but also knowing that memory is with me for life.

My thoughts are with all who are suffering at this time of year, maybe next year will be easier.

 

[Joslyn]

Absolutely, that has occurred for me in the past.I would react to the "cheer" of the season .... seems more like a notion that a reality. Having a condition that limits my day to day decisions let alone planning in advance is more pressure than is worth it. So, I am learning my limits and priorities.

This year we decided to keep the entire season low key and chilled out. Made a nice dinner for two, went for a stroll, started two new paintings. I normally decorate like a banshee and this year opted out of having a tree, no lights or even a wreath. May have been extreme, but I made up for it by watching holiday movies and baking some oatmeal cookies.

Making a decision to take control of my stress level felt really good, actually. As for NYE? We might go to the neighbors party and make an appearance or even go to a dinner and dance event. If not, no big deal.

I am shocked at how much easier this year has been. I thought I would have feelings of lonliness or frustration or boredom. As it turns out, I was able to spend my time doing exactly what I wanted. It was nice. the flip side of it? Maybe I am isolating as a way to prevent the extra stress. baby steps.

<edited for paragraph spacings to aide readability>

 

[Deleted member 6617]

I feel like I have been run through the ringer. I thought last year was hard. This year out did it by a long shot. Everything I knew, did, had, valued, participated in is different. Did not do so well with the holidays this year. Be glad when it is settled down a bit. Hmmm....does that happen?

 

[Meadowsweet]

I think so. There is alot of added pressures over christmas. But New Year, for me is still that little bit of hope that next year things will be better.

 

[KP the nut]

In the run up to Christmas, it is impossible to look at a magazine, TV or media in general without seeing 'perfect' families having the 'perfect' Christmas. Similar to models bodies, we are given an image to achieve which is for the majority an impossible goal.

I have relaxed my expectations, but I am still guilty of over stressing and still aiming for perfection. Ours is not the perfect family, but we all love one another. My family have told me time and time again that 'stuff' isn't important and that being together is what matters.

I was proud of how I managed over the Christmas period. However, once the family had left, I crashed. My mood is OK, but I have slept for almost 2 days and done very little except eat :oops:.

Tonight it is just my H and I for New Year, he has planned a lovely meal and we will watch a movie. I don't even know if I will be awake to see midnight and that is fine.

(((HUGS)))

 

[KP the nut]

Yuck a few hours later and CRASH. I feel so overwhelmed. I've shed a few tears and now feel numb. Time for bed I think.

 

[Sterre]

((KP))

Here in Holland, it has just been new year for 1 hour now, and it is okay. I tend to get a bit emotional/sentimental, but I try to have some good hope up for the coming year.
Things will get better....eventough I tell myself that every year, I truly hope things will turn out better for me in 2012. ( and for everybody here on the forum)

I am glad cristmas and new year is over, and things can get back to normal.
I am looking forward to the coming spring season, and some sunny days.

 

[Sammy]

Christmas always seems to be a tough time for me. Just too many emotions and memories for me to manage. I think expectations run high for many and that just makes it a stressful time of year. This year there were almost no expectations so the season was a little better - I am just ready for it to be over. I seem to end each year hoping the next will be better. Hasn't happened yet so, not expecting a lot for 2012. For now, I am just aiming for survival.

 

[Bigo]

Hey everyone. I'm so glad this thread was started. I was brewing with emotions today and felt like I was all alone in this world. I'm feeling so weird this holiday season. I was doing well for the most part during the summer months and so on, but as of Oct, I had a huge trigger, and never fully recovered from it.

I've been feeling really empty and depressed leading up to Christmas-which sucks when you have 3 amazing children jumping for joy for Christmas to come. I want so badly to be happy with them. And I try as hard as I can.....and hope that I at least come across as happy.

The crowds..the cranky cashiers in lineups...the invites to parties....the family coming over etc etc. It was just way too much for me. And of course then there's the guilt and shame that goes along with it for feeling depressed when I "should" be happy.

I'm not only dealing with PTSD and depression, but chronic pain is there as well, dragging me down daily. I hate the fact that when I wake up, one of the first things I think about is going to bed later on in the evening. I wake up feeling like a 100 year old man, and have to ease into comfort throughout the day. Uugghh.

I have an issue with alcohol and 99% of the time it's not an issue for me.....but this season, I have been having some drinks in the evenings. I just want to numb out so bad...... although I know it doesn't mix with my anti-depressants.

Ok guy, I know I'm ranting now. But it does feel good to get it off my chest.
Happy new year to all of you, and may good things come in 2012.
Cheers
Bigo