I'm angry at myself. I should have told him to stay in Vegas. But no...I let him come back. And is anything different? No, not a thing. I'm so tired of hearing "this is the way I am". And that is suppose to be his excuse for unacceptable behavior? I'm not buying it any more. Well, I told him to go back to Vegas and leave me alone. I'm done. Doing everything to make things better for him, while nothing is ever good enough for him. If it is PTSD causing it, all I can say is I'm sorry. I can't make it go away and obviously he is not willing to do anything about it. If he wants to live in his pity pot so be it. But I will no longer accept being verbally and emotionally abused!
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General The Angry Thread
- Post starter LizardViolet
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OrangeJulius
Gold Member
This is so not a big deal at all. And in general what I face is so minor compared to what I read on here. But its been a rough week and its like thing #50 that I've kept my mouth shut for waiting for him to pull out of his most recent funk. He hasn't been sleeping. Or talking much. Zero affection. I've had a crazier week than usual and a *ahem* hormonal week which makes everything that much easier.
We both are in healthcare and I asked if he knew about a disorder I had just learned about (not wanting to take the time explaining it if he already knew...because my point was about a case study). He had and said what it was, but had a small but important detail off. I corrected him and talked about this case where this lady was beating all the odds. Then he totally jumped down my throat about why I would ask him about a disorder just so I can correct him and since the case was on a tv show I shouldn't believe it. RAWR! I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU THAT I KNOW YOU'RE INTERESTED IN! STOP SNAPPING AT ME. Instead I said, I'm not trying to test or correct you, just sharing with you something I just learned and thought was cool. He said "oh." GRRRRRRR
And now I'm mad and want to shake him and he thinks nothing of it. Just like he thinks nothing of the fact that we've shared no affection. Or that even though i still sleep when he's awake for days on end, its not well. And even though he tells me not to worry he'll be fine, it still upsets me. Just RAWR! And then the age old question of what do i bring up and what's not worth it? To his credit he's doing SO MUCH better with his interactions with me when he does this. He used to just ignore me (i would just hear nothing for days, he said because it was better to say nothing than something to make me mad) and I told him I'd prefer he got mad at me for something nonsensical because then at least I would know what was going on with him. So really, I brought this upon myself. UGH!
We both are in healthcare and I asked if he knew about a disorder I had just learned about (not wanting to take the time explaining it if he already knew...because my point was about a case study). He had and said what it was, but had a small but important detail off. I corrected him and talked about this case where this lady was beating all the odds. Then he totally jumped down my throat about why I would ask him about a disorder just so I can correct him and since the case was on a tv show I shouldn't believe it. RAWR! I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU THAT I KNOW YOU'RE INTERESTED IN! STOP SNAPPING AT ME. Instead I said, I'm not trying to test or correct you, just sharing with you something I just learned and thought was cool. He said "oh." GRRRRRRR
And now I'm mad and want to shake him and he thinks nothing of it. Just like he thinks nothing of the fact that we've shared no affection. Or that even though i still sleep when he's awake for days on end, its not well. And even though he tells me not to worry he'll be fine, it still upsets me. Just RAWR! And then the age old question of what do i bring up and what's not worth it? To his credit he's doing SO MUCH better with his interactions with me when he does this. He used to just ignore me (i would just hear nothing for days, he said because it was better to say nothing than something to make me mad) and I told him I'd prefer he got mad at me for something nonsensical because then at least I would know what was going on with him. So really, I brought this upon myself. UGH!
Everhopeful
Silver Member
Here I am, angry again. What else is new. So the sessions booked for my Sufferer's deep soul-rotting revelation which he made to me the other day, have morphed not into sessions to deal with the childhood incest (on top of every other trauma under the sun that this man has been through), but into "marital couples counselling". How the f... did that happen? Nice move, dear husband...
I am supporting my arse off here, I am becoming a sad, worried and anxious woman. My life revolves around him. But, I have become the problem. You see, I am the "doctor" who cannot live without my poor sick and defenseless victimised "patient". Oh but he loves the attention and the care. He loves being at the very centre of my universe.
But, what gives me the right to be the "doctor" and not the wife?
The therapy got off to a good start though, for me, that is...I just can't shake the feeling that the Universe is trying to teach me a good lesson. And that I say with no anger or bitterness intended. I need to stop caring so much, I need to learn how to let go and just let be. It is agonising when you can so clearly see the path of destruction someone close to you is walking on, but you cannot avert disaster on their behalf.
I need to learn how to love, but to let it be. And no, dear Self, you cannot go and Google that for info in amongst all the other topics you have Googled yourself silly about in recent months in your little attempts to understand life and the why's and wherefor's.
I am supporting my arse off here, I am becoming a sad, worried and anxious woman. My life revolves around him. But, I have become the problem. You see, I am the "doctor" who cannot live without my poor sick and defenseless victimised "patient". Oh but he loves the attention and the care. He loves being at the very centre of my universe.
But, what gives me the right to be the "doctor" and not the wife?
The therapy got off to a good start though, for me, that is...I just can't shake the feeling that the Universe is trying to teach me a good lesson. And that I say with no anger or bitterness intended. I need to stop caring so much, I need to learn how to let go and just let be. It is agonising when you can so clearly see the path of destruction someone close to you is walking on, but you cannot avert disaster on their behalf.
I need to learn how to love, but to let it be. And no, dear Self, you cannot go and Google that for info in amongst all the other topics you have Googled yourself silly about in recent months in your little attempts to understand life and the why's and wherefor's.
Wow this is great!
Not that we are all hurting and sad and pissed, but that we can actually let it out, and not keep it inside.
I am always so afraid to be angry in front of him, and today I got frustrated with the situation and he knew it. I am not frustrated or mad at him. I am mad at the stupid B***H that put him in the situation in the first place. She should have never done that to someone she loved, and now I am left trying to clean up her f****ing mess.
I love my guy with all my heart and would give anything for him. I am pissed that I can't do anything to make it better. That I'm completely helpless. He thinks I am mad at him when in reality I'm pissed at myself and that b***h not him. I'm mad at the world. This is all bull shit.
Not that we are all hurting and sad and pissed, but that we can actually let it out, and not keep it inside.
I am always so afraid to be angry in front of him, and today I got frustrated with the situation and he knew it. I am not frustrated or mad at him. I am mad at the stupid B***H that put him in the situation in the first place. She should have never done that to someone she loved, and now I am left trying to clean up her f****ing mess.
I love my guy with all my heart and would give anything for him. I am pissed that I can't do anything to make it better. That I'm completely helpless. He thinks I am mad at him when in reality I'm pissed at myself and that b***h not him. I'm mad at the world. This is all bull shit.
OrangeJulius
Gold Member
I am angry that although I gave you every opportunity to talk to me and make a good decision for both of us....you didn't. I am angry that you did this to me. I am angry that it will possibly have a lasting effect. I am angry that you let it get this far. I am angry that you don't appreciate me and what I do for you. And I am angry at your table for bruising my knee.
**Edit: I just reread this...kind of sounds like I was abused. I was not. Let me be clear about that.
**Edit: I just reread this...kind of sounds like I was abused. I was not. Let me be clear about that.
I am angry that that you are thousands of miles away and are still calling all the shots. I put my career on hold to follow you and support your career and you thank me by walking out on me knowing that I do not have a job and am 100% dependent on you. I am left with the responsibility of a house that I can't afford and all the bills that go along with maintaining it. I get to pick up all the pieces and sort them out.
I feel cheated out of the future I thought I was going to have with you. The one that you can so easily walk away from. After almost 17 years of marriage I deserve to be treated with respect. I deserve to know why you have chosen to do this the way you are doing it. I don't deserve to be treated like I am the scum of the earth not worthy of being loved. It's not fair!!! How is this so easy for you?!?!? Why don't you feel bad?!?!? How do you look at yourself in the mirror everyday thinking that you are a man?!?!? You are far from that...you are a sad, pathetic lost soul.
I am angry that you are such a coward and can't face up to what you are doing. You are using the fact that your lawyer said don't have any communication with me as a crutch. You are using our daughter as a pawn to get information about me. Lying to her about missing me and feeling bad that this is happening. You don't feel bad....you don't feel anything. You are an empty shell going nowhere. In a few months you will come back and I will have to wonder where you are, what you are doing, and who you are doing it with.
But most of all I am angry that I am giving you this power over me. It won't be for much longer! I am going to find a way out of the dark place I find myself in. I will emerge stronger and wiser. I only hope that as you start this new life you think is going to be so much better that nothing tragic happens to you or someone else. See, I'm not heartless. I actually care about you and hope you eventually find what it is you think you are looking for.
I feel cheated out of the future I thought I was going to have with you. The one that you can so easily walk away from. After almost 17 years of marriage I deserve to be treated with respect. I deserve to know why you have chosen to do this the way you are doing it. I don't deserve to be treated like I am the scum of the earth not worthy of being loved. It's not fair!!! How is this so easy for you?!?!? Why don't you feel bad?!?!? How do you look at yourself in the mirror everyday thinking that you are a man?!?!? You are far from that...you are a sad, pathetic lost soul.
I am angry that you are such a coward and can't face up to what you are doing. You are using the fact that your lawyer said don't have any communication with me as a crutch. You are using our daughter as a pawn to get information about me. Lying to her about missing me and feeling bad that this is happening. You don't feel bad....you don't feel anything. You are an empty shell going nowhere. In a few months you will come back and I will have to wonder where you are, what you are doing, and who you are doing it with.
But most of all I am angry that I am giving you this power over me. It won't be for much longer! I am going to find a way out of the dark place I find myself in. I will emerge stronger and wiser. I only hope that as you start this new life you think is going to be so much better that nothing tragic happens to you or someone else. See, I'm not heartless. I actually care about you and hope you eventually find what it is you think you are looking for.
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OrangeJulius
Gold Member
I am angry that you said you felt cornered into the relationship. Let's review the events, I break up with you because you treat me like crap. You realize how awesome I am and beg for me back promising change. Knowing how moody you are about things I make you think about what you're actually asking me for and consider if you're just lonely and want SOMEONE and not ME. I explain to you in detail why getting back together will suck for you because of how much you will have to go out of your comfort zone to meet my needs. You, very determined, don't care because you're just alllll about me. I give you a chance to audition and you were a new man. You did meet my needs. It was great. But you hadn't given me a real commitment...one of my previously stated requirements.
So, I once again told you what I needed and that if you were unable to provide it, that was OK but I could not stick around without it. You committed. You seemed to have a decided that I was worth it. And one whole month later you're back to your old ways. And I confront you about this. And you say you were cornered into the relationship. No, you weren't. YOU asked for me back. I explained exactly what it would look like and YOU committed to me. YOU introduced me as your girlfriend. YOU put it on facebook. No, you were not cornered. You made all those decisions for yourself. You just want your cake and to eat it too. REALLY DUDE?
So, I once again told you what I needed and that if you were unable to provide it, that was OK but I could not stick around without it. You committed. You seemed to have a decided that I was worth it. And one whole month later you're back to your old ways. And I confront you about this. And you say you were cornered into the relationship. No, you weren't. YOU asked for me back. I explained exactly what it would look like and YOU committed to me. YOU introduced me as your girlfriend. YOU put it on facebook. No, you were not cornered. You made all those decisions for yourself. You just want your cake and to eat it too. REALLY DUDE?
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I am so angry. Angry at PTSD. Angry at my sufferer because he won't try to get treatment.. He's a VietNam Vet for heavens sake. There is treatment out there for him. The VA is 6 miles from here. But he refuses. I'm angry at myself because I can't deal with his PTSD. I'm angry with myself because I keep waivering back and forth. I'm angry at the world when I see happy couples together. I'm just angry.
amethist
VIP Member
I am angry that my husband has been making the wrong choices in the way he is dealing with a family matter. Yet expects me to put up with all the crap that goes with it.
I am also angry that he took more money out of the bank account than he said he was going to.
I am also angry that he took more money out of the bank account than he said he was going to.
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I must be so filled with anger. Now I'm getting really angry at myself. Because I'm once again feeling sorry for him. He apologized for yelling last nite, but I was right in there with him. I have to make sure I don't start waivering. It wouldn't be good for him or me at this point. I just realized. I NEED to stay angry!
I'm angry that you're gone.
I'm angry that you wont reply to my attempts to contact you.
I'm angry that I lost my friend.
I'm angry that we didn't talk about this more before you broke up with me.
I'm angry that I won't get to play with your dog anymore.
I'm angry that we cannot share our lives together.
I'm angry that you gave up on us.
I'm angry that you don't think I will understand.
I'm angry that I might not understand.
I'm angry that I can't fix this.
I'm angry that my love isn't enough.
I'm angry that I will never get to cook for you again.
I'm angry that I won't get to know your family better.
I'm angry that I cannot be there for you.
I'm angry that I won't get to see you reach your dreams.
I'm angry that I will be alone on my birthday.
I'm angry that I feel like I did something wrong.
I'm angry that we didn't have more time together.
I'm angry that I know you are hurting.
I'm angry that I cannot hold you in my arms.
I'm angry that I am crying while I write this.
I'm angry that I have regrets.
I'm angry that I have to let you go.
I'm angry that this happened to you.
I'm angry that I cannot pray away your pain.
But I'm still grateful that you were in my life.
I'm angry that you wont reply to my attempts to contact you.
I'm angry that I lost my friend.
I'm angry that we didn't talk about this more before you broke up with me.
I'm angry that I won't get to play with your dog anymore.
I'm angry that we cannot share our lives together.
I'm angry that you gave up on us.
I'm angry that you don't think I will understand.
I'm angry that I might not understand.
I'm angry that I can't fix this.
I'm angry that my love isn't enough.
I'm angry that I will never get to cook for you again.
I'm angry that I won't get to know your family better.
I'm angry that I cannot be there for you.
I'm angry that I won't get to see you reach your dreams.
I'm angry that I will be alone on my birthday.
I'm angry that I feel like I did something wrong.
I'm angry that we didn't have more time together.
I'm angry that I know you are hurting.
I'm angry that I cannot hold you in my arms.
I'm angry that I am crying while I write this.
I'm angry that I have regrets.
I'm angry that I have to let you go.
I'm angry that this happened to you.
I'm angry that I cannot pray away your pain.
But I'm still grateful that you were in my life.
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