It really is a matter of "Suffering the children" sometimes. I'm suffering my stepson, as we speak. He's not a bad kid (21 year old, actually). I've been involved in his raising for about 10 years now. I've known him longer than I've known his Dad.
It's just that forgot he was here for a visit and I got really excited about having a quiet day to myself today, because his dad's working and my kids are at school.
Compounded by the fact that my bedroom is also the living room/dining room, attached to the kitchen, so, no where to hide. I ended up having a long bath, just to get some time to myself. I should have prepared myself better, but because he hadn't lived with us for a year, I'm not so used to having him around. He's a typical young person, leaves crap around like dirty tissues, isn't real helpful, rucks up floor mats and doesn't fix them, expects to be waited on, but he's polite and friendly and charming and good looking. A weed addict.
I think both of me and my guy get a bit overprotective of our children because of separation trauma and having vile, personality disordered co parents in the mix, because I think his kid is overindulged and overcompensated to, and he thinks mine are. Blended families are complicated.
My stepson's mother has physically assaulted me, and is a loathsome bitch, in my book. But everyone but me forgives her.
I think I'm so triggered by her, because one; she's a horrible violent, dishonest, mean, person and two; I've had too many other people in my life like that.
The reason she assaulted me was because my guy took her in after she got back from an Asian holiday, some years ago and, even though we were seeing each other, she just laid on the charm and seduced him. This is after she's ruined his life sooooo much, assaulted him, so many times, concocted terrible lies about him and had him legally recorded as a "wife beater", had restraint orders out on him, despite being the violent one, herself, nearly beheaded him once, with a shovel, broke his nose while he was driving, got him brain damaged, taken off with the kids for years, it just goes on and on and on.
He eventually got care of his boys, that's when I met him. I've helped him raise them, ever since, except that time he took her in and they slept together.
It still hurts me. I went on a f*cking-random-guys frenzy when that happened. But it didn't help.
She had texted me "I thought you and S were just friends when I slept with him". I texted back "We are" I didn't even know who it was and when I realized, I texted him "Go f*ck yourself, or, as you prefer, that dried up, prune face, stick insect, crazy arse bitchface you are so into". She read his text and the next time I went over to see him she launched at me saying "I'll give you dried up!" and she punched me, hard in the face. I just said "Maybe you shouldn't read other people's texts".
He threw her out after that. But we were done, for a while, until I realized I wasn't ever going to get over him, he's the love of my life, but any association with her, is still triggery for me.
She's going to be picking up their son from here today, but everyone knows better than to have her anywhere near me.
