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"the Places That Scare You - A Guide To Fearlessness In Difficult Times"

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watundah

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Just started this book by Pema Chodron.
It's very rich in how we can change our outlook and approach in life. She speaks of life behind walls, something I know much about.

Yes, she is a Buddhist but most of the text is generally applicable.

(Could not find book section on forum)
 
My sister is a Buddhist and we were raised Unitarian. She says she's a Buddhist Unitarian. Anyway, she spends most of her life inside her house, behind walls, so to speak. Much of her life reeks of PTSD, but she has never been diagnosed, to my knowledge. None the less, since I was molested by our grandfather and she shows signs of abuse, I suspect she was abused/ molested too. She just does not remember it probably. Mine was buried until I was in my mid-30s.

She is a horder and has piles and piles of stuff everywhere in her house, with small pathways between everything. When I had to visit her unexpectedly, after our father's memorial service, she could not bring herself to move any of her precious stuff in order to make room for me to eat at her table. She could not clear off a chair for me to sit at the table on! It was awful, I felt claustrophobic in her house.

Somehow, what you wrote above reminded me of all this, so I am sharing it, for whatever it is worth, even though it probably has little to do with the subject of your post I suppose. I hope you don't mind.

Please tell us more about the book!
 
I love Pema Chodron. The Places that Scare You is a great book. Another one that I found really helpful when I was going through a particularly bad time is "When Things Fall Apart". I keep both of these books close by to just pick up and read random passages. I've also found her audio books/lectures to be really enlightening.

As an aside (and not to derail, which I think I have a tendency to do ;)), I'm a Buddhist Unitarian.
 
Can you give us some more info on these books? Like why you like them so much??

I guess the reason I like them so much is not only do the teachings resonate with me, but Chodron has a gentle, compassionate, yet straight forward way of presenting the teachings. She's not dogmatic, but rather says "don't just believe me, check it out for yourself". The teachings that have made the most impact on me involve staying present, letting go of the "storyline", and being compassionate towards myself and others. When I am at my best, I can recognize that life is essentially groundless and that struggling and clutching to my stories cause me (and those around me) a lot of suffering.

One of her audio books that I really love is "Don't Bite the Hook". I have also gotten a lot of the teachings of her teacher, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche (particularly Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior and Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism). Other teachers I love include Joko Beck and Darlene Cohen.

Actual practices that have been helpful include Metta and Tonglen meditations, which I practice both formally (in sitting meditation) and while I am doing other things intentionally (for example, I practice metta when I hand stitch - each stitch is a line of metta - "may you be safe", "may you be happy"...)

All of these teachings and practices dovetail nicely into what I'm learning about how the brain works and how trauma affects the brain and the body. It all makes a certain amount of sense to me.
 
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