The Positives Of Being Abused.

[RussH]

To all of you: I am very touched by all the positives I am reading here. I am so proud of all of you for having come through the fire, and recognizing the goodness it has brought out in you. You are all really great people, and the world should be proud to have you here.

 

[HelenB]

Helen you are a diamond in the making.

Thank you for your encouragement
Helen

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

Yes... once you wake up out of the isolation and stabilize your trajectory... there is a dark wisdom. It's like we're from a different world. It is an enlightenment of sorts when we choose to acknowledge it as such.

 

[Spiderallis]

All of the above, and a deep appreciation for the little things. I've actually thanked friends for not trying to sell me. Apparently that thought doesn't occur to most of the world. Oh well, I'm still grateful for not being bartered.

 

[Essay]

a positive...
the ability to see
suddenly
with razor sharp clarity

I have come to see where the abusers stop and I begin
I can see myself
feel myself
like a pleasant weight in my own chest

I have always believed that they were all there was to me
they took up all the room in me
made most of the sounds that came out of me
delivered most of the messages by which I "live"

just today
as it happens
I've discovered that I exist
even better
that I exist without them

it's small
but
today
it's enough...

 

[Spiderallis]

A stunning work of poetry, turning pain into inspiration for words that will inspire others- that's beautiful. Thank you Essay!

I thought of another- perhaps a niche thing, but in odd little bit of performance art I do, I can push myself further knowing how far I've been pushed before. I also know the signs of when it's getting to be a bit much. A few of my peers haven't recognized those feelings, they've never felt them before. It's nice to know how to help when that happens to someone else, empathy is awesome stuff.

 

[RussH]

a positive...


it's small
but
today
it's enough...

I would have quoted the whole thing, but then the grammar meisters would have dinged me, but I wanted to say Excellent!

 

[RussH]

All of the above, and a deep appreciation for the little things.

I agree completely. I think I truly appreciate it when someone does something nice for me. I will sometimes almost overreact emotionally (eyes tear up) because acts of kindness. Having been subject to acts of cruelity in the past; I truly appreciate acts of kindness shown to me today.

 

[zaniara]

Oh, was also provoked by the title- but it was a good thread! I agree with everything being said about being able to understand and feel for other people's pain and suffering, not being able to be ignorant about injustices.

Since so much time was wasted before on suffering I feel a bit too eager to bother much about some of the small concerns 'normal people' give a lot of attention- I like to do and talk about what is really meaningful directly instead. This can mean I tend to be very straightforward and not shy from things that freak others out.

People say I'm very, very honest and that I don't bullshit anyone. :) Of course not all people appreciate it- not those who are uncomfortable with being in touch with their feelings. :D

Also I enjoy small things that ordinary people take for granted so much that I can be intensely happy about very small things. Or a few moments(when PTSD doesn't get the best of me) for simply being alive. I see a lot of 'ordinary' people struggling with feeling unhappy despite 'having everything'(health, pretty sane families and money)..

 

[The Albatross]

I think we can look at our past with optimistic eyes, instead of pessimistic(sp) eyes.

Yes. I agree, a turn of perception by choosing what we focus on. A couple days ago one of the inspirational reading things that come to my in box said:

"3D

When I took my kids to see their first 3D movie, I was blown
away with how the glasses altered my vision.

Not like I expected though.

I was not overly impressed with the 3D effects in the movie
itself; what really surprised me was what happened when I exited
the theater.

When I came out of the theater and removed my 3D glasses,
I experienced the greatest parable of life.

"Life is how we view it."

After wearing glasses where one lens was red and the other was
blue, my eyes had adjusted to the colors.

Now with my naked eyes, out of one eye the world had a blue tint
and out of the other eye the world had a red tint.

I could not believe my eyes, I had never heard of that
phenomenon before. I rubbed my eyes and closed one eye and
alternated them over and over. Everything looked redder, then
everything looked bluer, over and over.

I had enough scientific knowledge and common sense to know the
whole world was not changing colors, timed perfectly to the
instant I shut one eye and opened the other.

This was the most altered my vision had ever been, yet it was
perhaps the clearest I had ever seen the world.

I now saw the argument between the optimist and the pessimist
solved, it depends on which eye you have open.

In your life, do you focus on those who have more than you or
those who are less fortunate than you?

Do you focus on how bad your job is or that you have a job?

Do you focus on the smallness of your closet and house, or do
you see that you have so many clothes you don't have room to
store them?

What eye are you looking out of?

If you want the world to look differently, it may be easier for
you to open the other eye than to paint the world."

 

[The Albatross]

• I am cautious.
• I am capable of doing what is necessary to survive.
• I am stoic. I am "outside the fray" in some important ways... not easily drawn in to drama by friends, family, or co-workers.
• I am a problem solver.
• I am teachable. I had to be to learn the things I needed for independence and to get the peace I wanted in life.
• I am willing to explore thoughts or ideas that run counter to my instincts.
• I am able to self motivate when necessary to stop the slide into consequences without relying too heavily on others.
• I know that anything better than the abuse I endured is "better than it was before", and am able to use that knowledge to improve my base line mood/mental emotional state to have peaceful, calm and quiet moments.
• I am generally empathetic and helpful.

I get blow back if I act out in harmful ways to other people, my inner critic drives me to respond differently, to a higher standard.

 

[The Albatross]

Russ, there is an alcohol recovery book that I read when in recovery ... that reminds me of this. I have kept it and reread it every couple of years by Chuck C., A New Pair of Glasses.