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I realized how therapeutic it is to play and cuddle with my dog.
I don't touch people it's very uncomfortable for me as well as a trigger for bad memories. But as I played fetch with my dog she came running back to me every time. And without fail when she came back with her toy she came to me to nuzzle her face against me.
I felt... I felt loved. I felt wanted. It made me really happy.
And I realized that if being touched by my dog could convey such strong emotions... It makes me wonder what it would be like to accept and enjoy an actual person touching me... It makes me hopeful that maybe I can overcome this conditioning I've had done to me... That one day a person touching me isn't a threat but affection...
It's very nice isn't it? I find myself able to relax in a way that is very difficult to do with adults. Little kids have that same affect on me. Neither are threatening. But, once people start growing out of that children stage I find myself tensing up. I can say it has been much worse. It still has it's times when I just can't. I'm not a very touchy person. Thankfully I have a supportive husband, a huggy son, and pets. My oldest son is more like me, so if he hugs I accept it gratefully.
I hope you too will find someone you can be as open with as your pet.