The Things I Say To My Therapist

[Spiderallis]

My latest T was amused by "I'm not going to cry about that, it'd be a waste of mascara"

 

[1127sg]

My friend's therapist fell asleep during their session. My friend had been crying bearing a long-held secret. She didn't know what to do so she just sat there until the therapist woke up.

 

[Kintsugi]

Me: Have you ever seen me dissociate?
Her: Here? You blank out all the time.
Me: You're a sharp one.
Her: Sharp? Like a knife, or--
Me: I'm impressed you pick up on it. I hear it's hard to tell.
Her: Well, I doubt you have many relationships where you sit across from someone for an hour talking and staring at each other.
Me: You really don't know me, do you?
Her face... priceless. :roflmao:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Heh. I love when you cause their face to look like :wideeyed: fun!

 

[Kintsugi]

I wish I could remember some of the exchanges we've had. A couple sessions ago, she was so exhausted by my rapid-fire retorts of negative self-reflection that she dramatically uncrossed her legs and held out her hands, saying, "Come on! You don't even pause. It's just immediate."

What can I say? I guess I'm an expert at putting myself down.

 

[Kintsugi]

Me: Wait, I told you about what happened to my brother, right?
Her: :confused:
Me: I told you my foster brother raped him?
Her: Uhm, no?!
Me: Oh. Well. Welcome to the conversation.
Her: :bored:

 

[Recovery4Me]

T: "What time is best for you?"
Me: "Whatever your best energy period is of the day, as I am intense when reviewing trauma."

@Simply Simon ((((hugs))))

 

[Nighthawk]

M: I guess im a half empty glass person
T: Yeah and that half is full of blood , monsters , aligators, goblins and anything else that could be scary.

 

[Ronin]

I do pride & stupid pride & pride for really f*cked up things, but nope, it's not pride why I won't answer you about it, you could understand and that terrifies me.

(That bloke switched it into 'am I terrifying' and he looked goddamn cute and hilarious with so many faces he made, so tension out like by a magic wand.)

 

[Changing4Best]

I had one therapist who crossed her arms over her chest whenever I spoke to her a bout my life, like she had to protect herself from what I had to say! I found another therapist when she refused to change her body language after I pointed it out to her. Who needs that!

 

[Biz]

I have said so many inappropriate things to therapists. Mostly these were therapists I was doing trial sessions with. Looking back, I think I'm fun, super annoying to them but funny.
T: (After I've related the extremes of my derealization and my issues with modern society) I'd like to give you some homework.
Me: Okay.
T: I want you to keep a list of three things for every day this week. Things like someone helping another person or someone sharing a sandwich with a homeless person, and then come back with the list.
Me: (Stares blankly).
T: What do you think of that.
Me: I think that sounds childish and a bit ridiculous and sing-songey. Additionally, when have you ever seen anyone share a sandwich with a homeless person?
T: Actually I have this book recommendation for you.

I didn't see her after that appointment. Another one.
Me: (Walk in the room, first appointment, hesitant, nervous, super fidgety and uncomfortable, say nothing, eventually after a really awkward exchange I ask her to move her chair back because it's really close to me). Your chair is really close.
T: You're welcome to sit anywhere you're comfortable.
Me: (Looks at her questionably). These are the only chairs in this room besides your desk chair over there facing the wall.
(This is funnier if you'd seen the room with the two chairs face to face right in the middle. Clearly there's no other real place to sit, she just reached for a line).

Last one.
Me: (Emotional, holding back tears).
T: What are you feeling?
Me: Sadness.
T: Why don't you just feel that for a second.
Me: (Shakes head, regains emotional composure).
T: You could just try it and touch in to that and come back when you want.
Me: No. I'm good.
T: You could just try.
Me: No.
T: (Visibly a bit frustrated). Why not?
Me: Because I don't trust you.

 

[Biz]

From yesterday with my usual T who I've been seeing about two years. This is funny when you know the context that I have attachment issues, it's usually more on the avoidant or disorganized spectrums, and this T often points out that I am sometimes overly boundaried or overly particular about certain boundaries.

T: (Talking casually at end of session about her new baby and taking her to the pediatrician). The pediatrician we see is a good friend so now I'm taking the baby for a second opinion, and I am trying not to tell her or make a big deal about it. Don't make your friends your pediatrician... or your accountant or...
Me: (Staring intently, shakes head). Of course not. See, you've got to have pre-boundaries... I would never ask a friend to do anything for me.
T: (Laughing). Yea, I could've just consulted you on that.