Therapist Painting A Pretty Picture

[Lucycat]

Well, my therapist said that if I were listening to my body and my instincts, I would not have had anything to do with the people who hurt me and I would only have associated with inherently good people that I could have trusted a hundred percent.

I am guessing that your therapist is speaking of your personal experience as an individual, and we are trying to generalise to us all. I for one would expect small children to be able to trust their own parents as a bare minimum. In my case that proved to be a wrong assumption, so your T's comments fall at the first hurdle.

 

[Friday]

What I wanna know is how she gets off blaming you.

"If you were listening to your instincts it wouldn't have happened?"

Bite me.

In the real world, even if your "instincts" are dead on, and you never had to learn the skill of discernment but were somehow born an omniscient and 100% accurate judge of character... you can't control other people. At best you can influence them. But only if they let you and you have the skill set to be able to do so.

 

[The Albatross]

Put your thoughts together and your emotional reactions and next session call your shrink out on it. Keeping things right sized and having the discussion is important in a therapeutic discussion. "How do you get off blaming me..." for example or "bite me" - not helpful. But the meat and potatoes is the rest of what Friday Jones said, "...even if your "instincts" are dead on, and you never had to learn the skill of discernment but were somehow born an omniscient and 100% accurate judge of character... you can't control other people. At best you can influence them..."

I think I would seriously put my thinking cap on and have this discussion.

 

[Dana1010]

What I wanna know is how she gets off blaming you.

I don't know that she was blaming me. I think she may have just been trying to calm my agoraphobia and get me on the road to socializing again. Maybe she figured a little white lying and magical thinking wouldn't be so bad if it got me out of the rut I'm in.

@The Albatross, I am going to have to ask where she sees our therapy going, does she have a plan, and is she purposely slowing me down. Unfortunately, she's the only game in town for SE except this one guy who takes my insurance and he's a little out of the way. I had a consultation with him and frankly didn't feel comfortable - he was a little gruff and perhaps insensitive, like we were talking about the stock market or something. I might have to give him another go if my current T continues to disappoint me.