Therapist Reliability and Cancelling Frequently

[Mach123]

There is no way I'd tolerate this behaviour. Trust is such an important part of your relationship and for her to violate you over and over is completely unacceptable.

It's very nice being considerate of her but it's really a situation where you as a patient have a right to expect a certain degree of professionalism you're not getting.

I'm sorry you are going through this but

When you didn't stop it the first time, you gave her licence.

This is just human nature and I'm struggling with this whole thing terribly right now (being able to say no) which is why the first time she did it I would have caused such a scene she would have had to not do it again, or be willing to deal with a melt down every time, or fire me.

I'm submissive and I want to be abused like this but in certain situations I know I can't allow it.

If the therapist won't cooperate it's better for me I see someone who can treat me.

I'm sorry you have this situation I hope you are able to act quickly and correct it.

I wish I could do what I'm saying in more situations but in this one, for me, it's easy.

 

[Skywatcher]

I know why you are afraid to bring it up. You are afraid she will abandon you. In a way, she already is, on a smaller scale. You could begin to look around and interview some others via email. Then once you do bring it up, you have options. This stuff is so hard.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed. I brought it up and she was remorseful and promised, yes promised, that same day cancelling wouldn't happen again. She was quite amenable to changing the date to Tuesdays. I recently got adjunct art therapy and in the event this behavior resurfaces, I have a safety net for therapy till I can find someone else.

 

[SinkorSwim]

The only time we've canceled is if we both mutually decided not to come in because of a blizzard. Otherwise she has given me at least a month's notice if she goes on vacation and if she is not available that day then I get offered a different time to take. In my opinion that is too many times to cancel. I'd find someone new.

 

[Starfire]

Really makes me appreciate my T. Was seeing him once a month then. During that time didn't even know he had been taken to Mayo clinic for a pacemaker. He didn't miss. Once he called in the morning asking to put off my appointment for an hour. His reason..couldn't read his own writing and double booked. He's human!!! I too am his last appointment for the day. And once he came out 10 minutes before my appointment asking to reschedule for the next day. Knew what that meant. He always told me a hospitalization would be a mutual decision & he would accompany me *paving the way*. Guess he had the same deal with the appointment before me.

Sorry. Dropped tablet & it posted. I would expect your T to treat you like any other professional, which she is. What would an attorney do, a doctor, a CPA, Veterinarian etc? She had to know in advance when her dog was being released...I'm a dog person too. Her being sick...might thank her for not sharing germs but decision should have been made sooner. IMHO we learn a lot from our T's by how we are treated by them. One is trust. If you cancelled an appointment with her a few minutes before, how would she feel, react?

 

[TruthSeeker]

Sorry. Dropped tablet & it posted. I would expect your T to treat you like any other professional, which she is. What would an attorney do, a doctor, a CPA, Veterinarian etc? She had to know in advance when her dog was being released...I'm a dog person too. Her being sick...might thank her for not sharing germs but decision should have been made sooner. IMHO we learn a lot from our T's by how we are treated by them. One is trust. If you cancelled an appointment with her a few minutes before, how would she feel, react?

@Starfire I believe she'd say she understood, no problem, take care, and not charge me. Well, I'm thinking positively, and plannng for there to be no more problems, and hopefully there won't be. I also have decided that if there are, then I'll go elsewhere. I hope I won't have to change.